Angry at wording used by sports club

[neonjumper]

The following words have been put on a sports club dedication board ... 'obsessed is the word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated '.

They have really annoyed me . There is a back story to this . My DH has been a part of this club for some years . This hobby became an obsession, taking up most of his time after work . Taking precedence over his children , his wife and family , to the point that an annual whole weekend meet started to take precedence over our wedding anniversary.

His obsession with this sport club nearly ended our marriage .

The wording has made me feel very angry.

Aibu?

Did he write it?

YABU to feel angry at the sports club for using a common saying.

YANBU to feel angry at your husband for letting a hobby become more important than his wife and children.

I understand why it has struck nerve but honestly it’s just motivational tripe. The whole ‘inspiring quotes’ thing is tedious and cringe so just roll your eyes and be done with it.

Out of interest, what club is it? Is it cycling? I honestly dont get it but some people get ridiculously obsessed.

Your issue is with your husband. The club obviously don’t mean it in the context of your experience don’t take it so personally.

He should be dedicated to his wife and children, not a sport’s club. YANBU.

YANBU

I have similar feelings when I see the words “no pain no gain” especially on dance school walls where there are tons of impressionable kids.

Dd is training to be a professional dancer. Pain is your bodies way of telling you something is wrong. Ignoring pain can be devastating.

My DH has been a part of this club for some years . This hobby became an obsession, taking up most of his time after work . Taking precedence over his children , his wife and family , to the point that an annual whole weekend meet started to take precedence over our wedding anniversary.

His obsession with this sport club nearly ended our marriage .

Type this^ up and pin it underneath the post.

I can see why that motto would feel hugely annoying to you. However, try not to take it personally - just be content that you know better than a trite and shallow slogan.

Sorry I don't know how to reply individually (next task is to learn how to do this ).

No he didn't write it but I imagine this newly released is used as a way for many of the obsessed at the club to justify the amount of hours and fees they pay .

Juan ... I'm tempted , but as some of the others have said , it is a load of poorly thought out motivational tripe.

Not cycling , swimming ...but he has also been obsessed with cycling . We live in an area where every cyclist is a white, middle aged bloke kitted out in the latest expensive cycling kit .

My older daughter is involved with the club and has just got home after todays meet .... 10 hours of sitting around to do a couple of poxy races .

The younger was also joined to the club and was very unhappy ... it took me having to issue an ultimatum to my husband about her leaving the club because he couldn't see past his obsession.

Seeing that tripe on twitter has made me feel very angry as they all seem to try to justify their time put into the club as dedication without a thought to how it affects other commitments .

It's just one of thousands of inspirational quotes.

They're all generic as they can't be taylor made to suit everyone.

So yes, I think YABU as much as I can understand your personal annoyance.

It’s a really common phrase in sport. Really common.

I think you’re taking your unhappy marriage, or at least a really unsatisfactory part of it, out on a weirdly specific thing; a sports club notice board.

Obsession isn't generally considered a positive thing though is it?

A lot of these sorts of sayings are utter tripe.

So you are unhappy your daughter is involved with it as well?

Common sayings can be idiotic and unhealthy. Like a pp's "no pain no gain" example.

Does your daughter have friends who didn't spend ten hours sitting by a swimming pool yesterday? Does she think they're lazy? Does she think it's ok to call others lazy if they have different priorities to her and make different choices?

I'd be concerned about children adopting unhealthy ideas if they're having nonsense like this fed to them.

Yabu about the club. It's just a shit quote.

Yanbu about your husband. But he's responsible for himself.

@FrogsFrogs I think that's it . My DH was obsessed ( he has a tendency to get quite obsessed about things he takes an interest in .)

It's the implication that anyone who calls anyone out on being obsessed with the sport is lazy .

I'm taking the message quite personally as my DH did try to dress up his obsession as a dedication to the club . It was obsessive and started to takeover family life .

The younger one quit the club after I issued an ultimatum. I made it very clear to him that he was using his younger daughters membership to the club to justify his involvement and was putting it ahead of her unhappiness to the point that she was too scared to voice her wanting to no longer participate for fear of upsetting him. This was a lightbulb moment .

Older daughters friends have quit the club recently ( the social side is what has kept her there this long .) I've bought her a gym membership, which is what she wants as her friends from the club have joined the gym instead .

I've told her she needs to make a decision in two months which membership she is keeping on as I'm not paying for the gym and swim membership...again I think there's an element of dithering on her part because she doesn't want to disappoint DH . I also think there's an element of DH using older daughter as a justification to talk about the club activities.

Once she quits , he knows I don't want to hear about it .

Your problem isn’t the club, it’s your husband.

@JacquesHammer I know .

It's disappointing that he has to spoil everything by becoming obsessive about it .

Ive started holding a mirror up to him showing him what he is and he doesn't like it .

On lot of posts on MN , people say highlight the selfishness of their partners and then say , but he's great aside from that . I've noticed that he's not great aside from that , because the aside is a part of him ... this is what I'm reflecting back to him and he doesn't like it .