To tie DT1’s ankles together and stash him in a cupboard?

[SinkGirl]

I am of course joking. But he’s seriously going to break his neck or legs if I don’t do something.

He’s always had very good gross motor skills - he’s delayed in everything else (he’s autistic and has no real sense of danger, doesn’t feel pain very much and doesn’t understand any words).

He’s always been a climber but recently he’s been experimenting with traversing the lounge eg jumping from the sofa to the coffee table, then falling backwards off the coffee table on to the sofa, then adding in a spin...

So we moved the coffee table, and now his new game is standing on the coffee table and jumping off on to the floor (to be fair he always sticks the landing with both feet, very good dismount - I would be impressed if I wasn’t terrified...).

What can I do? Tried toddler gymnastics, he can’t take instruction as he doesn’t understand and it just makes him worse. You can’t tire him out, he doesn’t tire! I got a gym ball and he likes bouncing on that with me holding him but then he’s straight back to jumping off furniture and traversing the window sills.

I tell him no, I take him down. He does it again, x100. If he does fall and bang his head he gets straight back up and does it again.

Our downstairs is one room with the kitchen off it (there’s a stair gate, he can obviously climb over it but rarely tries). Short of gutting my house and turning it into a soft play, what can I do?!

Somehow we’ve only had one trip to A&E after he had a bog standard trip and went eyebrow first into the wooden base of the sofa. We can’t keep up this luck forever!

They’re 3.5 by the way.

Any brilliant ideas? Our house is very small so limited space. Our garden has multiple levels and therefore a hazard to them (especially DT2 who’s autistic and is vision impaired too). We’ve had a bit of remedial work done but levelling it would be a massive job.

You could ask for a Movement-ABC assessment from the OT if you haven't already had it done. It assesses motor development skills to give an idea if which need supporting and how best to develop them. It's not specifically designed with sensory processing abilities in mind but for both my DS' it highlighted a lot of sensory related issues (as well as the issues with motor skills) and helped give us a starting point for planning out an appropriate sensory diet for them both.

Oh OP, I do feel for you. My DTs are just over 4, one has suspected ASD and they are such hard work!! You need eyes in the back of your head at the best of times!

Have you tried your local Home Start, children's centres, ASD support groups, that type of thing? I didn't qualify for Home Start (not enough volunteers in our area) but even if someone could help you out for an hour a week that could be useful. Our children's centre doesn't have specific ASD groups but they do run courses on it which I'm due to go on next time they run, and I'm in touch with the support groups now too.

If your DTs enjoy the outdoors then often adventure playgrounds will have regular SEN-friendly sessions, one near us does a couple of hours a week.

Do your DTs go to nursery? If so, could anyone there suggest anything else for you to try?

I completely empathise, DTS1 is incapable of sitting still!! His hearing has been terrible too up till a couple of months ago when he had grommets fitted. It is exhausting coping with him; I hope you find some help soon

Pad out sharp corners, get foam mats for the floor and see if you can get him to wear a padded helmet to protect his head a bit. I'd also take some videos of him doing these things so any bumps, bruises or accidents can be explained if necessary.

If OT say they can't help until DTs understanding is better, do you have SALT input? My DS (almost 3 and non-verbal) uses visuals which have really helped.

I usually hate it when people suggest going private as that's no within everyone's reach, but we found a private SLT who is worth her weight in gold and has helped us and DS immensely. There are private OTs out there who might be able to give you some practical advice on how to manage the sensory seeking while keeping them safe.

It sounds very hard work! All the best

Thanks everyone.

They do go to nursery and every day when we pick them up we get told about DT1’s climbing that day, and what DT2 has tried to swallow. It’s super stressful. On the plus side we’ve had lots of professional involvement including home visits so we have a lot of professionals who’ve witnessed how relentless he is, should he ever have any accidents that would make anyone suspicious. I do have plenty of videos and photos too. Here he is just turned 2 😳

I have this horrible fear that one day he’ll break a limb and we will go for xrays and they’ll say he’s got millions of old fractures or something. But he’s never so much as limped from a fall or cradled an arm or used it less. If they fall they cry for 2 seconds if that and then they are fine

We’ve just had six months of homestart visits which was fantastic but that’s finished now.

It’s basically impossible for me to take them anywhere by myself because nowhere is safe enough between their two types of sensory seeking. Can’t even take them to soft play because DT2 will just cry and cling to me and DT1 decides he doesn’t want to climb things he’s supposed to climb.

They will be starting specialist school in September (possibly sooner if I have anything to do with it!) so they’ll have access to better facilities and professional input then. Just trying to keep them safe and happy in the meantime!

Indoor trampoline has been a godsend with Ds.

For your son who enjoys spinning have you seen the bilibo?

Yes we have a bilibo - he mostly ignores it then has a few days where he uses it lots then ignores it again. Turns out there’s nothing quite as exciting as just spinning round on the spot 😂

Going to try a peanut ball - I guess they’re more stable for independent play than the gym balls? They love the gym ball but it’s difficult to use when I’m on my own with them - DT2 thinks it’s very funny to run from end of the room and launch himself onto it which was very nearly a broken neck too

No wonder I’m going grey!

Weirdly you’d think they’d love trampolines but they have a few bounces and they are done.

What I really struggle with is that they are so confident and carefree at home but when we take them to other places (like soft play or parkour) they get very anxious and upset. DT2 especially - we don’t know how much his vision affects him, at home and nursery you wouldn’t know he has a vision problem really but I think in new places he doesn’t know he struggles. When we went for OT sessions recently he was in the OT room which was like a mini private soft play and I’ve never seen him so happy - he was hopping across the room giggling and having the most fun. I’m so sad I can’t provide something like that for him regularly. Going to look into private OT.

I got a gonge carousel for my autistic 6 year old for Christmas. He practically lives on it. Does he have a balance bike?

Honestly I would get rid of the coffee table, maybe a soft / low sofa and baby proof sharp corners / edges etc and let him get on with it. Nothing worked to stop DN doing her stunts at home and my reacting just made things worse - encouraging it, I believe, helped her get it out of her system. She’s neurotypical though.

We had furniture made with rounded corners where possible, and strong.

Window locks on the window s gymball, he used to stand on the top of the back of the rocking chair that was jammed under the sofa so it would not rock. Still got the fingerprints on the ceiling.

Lots of cushions, padded mats, take away the Coffee table..turn chairs so they are back to a wall and won't topple so easily,

Little bugger parkours over sil's banisters, tries climbing up the outside of the communal stairs, swung off the top landing and did £120 worth damage to a light fixture.

When he was about two he would climb up furniture and get stuck. He would be perched on it waiting to be rescued. Before that he was running up and down the windowsil.

Can you now see why I let him have lots of screen time now? Much safer.

Gymball was supervised though... Also used to do fucking insane things that had one afeared for a broken neck.

We had an indoor slide too.

Hadn’t thought of a balance bike, but we do have a scuttlebug thing they both like. Will see if we can try one out.

We bought our coffee table because it has no corners (it’s one of those rounded things from Made so it’s like a long flat oval on legs). Reluctant to get rid completely as we do a lot of our play on it but I have moved it back by the sofa. If I get rid of it it, he’ll just jump off the sofa which is the same height on to the floor, rather than sofa to table and vice versa.

Thanks so much for all your suggestions - once they’re at nursery today I will check them all out :)

(I didn’t mean I’d let them play on anything unsupervised by the way - “unsupervised” doesn’t happen in our house! I meant, less likely to break their skull on it while I’m changing the other’s nappy or stopping them scaling a stair gate 😳)

<a class="break-all" href="https://gb.childtherapytoys.com/products/scooter-board-with-handles?gclid=CjwKCAiA-P7xBRAvEiwAow-Vaf5jRYEJSX5NEcuciseli34keL8yEW5pzUolP7Um6qmOAzP6yHAU1xoChckQAvD_BwE&utm_campaign=pr_r&utm_source=www.childtherapytoys.com&utm_medium=wi_proxy&utm_content=en_US&utm_term=a" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">This is the thing I meant If they like the scuttle bug then this might well appeal.

Thanks, I will get one :)

For soft play type things have you looked if there are any which do additional needs sessions? They are normally quieter and have the bonus of the other parents don’t flinch at a child swinging from the chandeliers!

We have a gorilla gym, great for climbing and swinging. A vibration plate (the ones used for exercise) has been very helpful, ds likes to use it on the highest setting which gives a lot of physical sensory input. Bikes and trampoline also get used a lot. We also have a hammock, which was recommended by an ot, but ds didn't really take to it. We bought a low balance beam on eBay which gets a lot of use as well.

The local short breaks service has sessions but they’re at the biggest soft play round here and in the evening. Much more suited to older kids.

There’s one charity whose events we go to who have hired out one for a few hours on a Sunday this month so may try that, but it’s where we had a really bad time with DT2 recently. Still think there’d be too many people for him but DH can come so will be worth a try.

DT1 does love a good balance beam so will see what I can find :)

We are just trying vibration again with some cushions / vibrating snake so will see if that helps.

It isn’t cheap, but have a look on babipur.co.uk for the TriClimb and the accessories. With some Ikea mats nearby, it might be a more manageable way for him to climb.

Yes I’ve been looking at piklers triangle type things. Would definitely need one that folds flat. Saw this, wish we had the space for it!

Play Gym - Home and School Indoor Wooden Playground Equipment for 1 to 5-Year Old Children and Up - Climbing Net, Swedish Ladder, Swing Rings, Slide - Safe Wood Frame - 60 kg Capacity www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07PRD7FQY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_3DqqEbEXDSRKN?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Have you tried Twins Trust as well OP? They may have extra suggestions/ resources for you. Or you can just call them for a chat if things get tough - I do!

There are local charities all over the UK which help adapt things; my DM has severe osteoarthritis and they made something to help her get into the car, a board that she can sit and twist on. If you can find anything nearby, might be worth giving them a call to see if they have anything they can help with?