Re homing dog

[Easilyanxious]

Hi
After advice here due to my mh not being very good at moment I am struggling looking after our dog and giving him time he deserves . Friends have currently got him they have a couple dogs who he likes and he loves it there
My issues may take some time to sort and they have offered to have him permently , it will break my heart to see him go and my dh , plus kids but between us ( I was main carer ) we can’t currently give him what they can ( several long walks , constantly with one of them etc )
Is it selfish of me to keep him and take him back so our feelings aren’t hurt and he obviously loves us as well or should I go with friends offer knowing that they can offer him better than us ( at least in short term whilst I am recovering )
Not sure what to do for best and feel selfish as my mh that’s causing this

Just to add when we got him he is 5 we intended it to be for life as previous dog we had for 15 years , but didn’t predict for me to become unwell

You need to evaluate what you can offer him. If you can offer him something that is good enough, even if not as good as what they can offer, and are reasonably confident that you will in future get back to being able to give him as much as you would like to, then keep him. If you cannot give him adequate exercise and attention right now, then how long do you think it might take to get back to a position where you can? Are they prepared to take things day by day or are they pushing for some sort of certainty? Who is currently paying for his food, vet bills etc?

If he's happy, then it's less disruptive to leave him where he is. Of course you'll miss him, and he you, but far easier for you both than any uncertainty. You need to look after yourself, and worrying about your dog will make that harder.

This is a good home for him with trusted friends who I assume would be happy for you to visit and if you take him back but then still can't cope and have to rehome after all you may have to send him to people you don't know via a dog rescue centre. So I would think it over carefully.

There's a good home with people owho love him and have the space for him. I would consider it.

Thank you we currently pay for his food vet and if they keep him would be happy to continue to do that . Just so hard as he is a great dog , fairly well trained and very loving ,but I know at least for next few months I will struggle to give him what he needs and last thing I would want is to have to re home him to strangers later on, or got him to be pushed for pillar to post as that’s not fair on him and he has to come first in any decision I make .

From what you say it sounds like the right decision for the dog but probably not for you?

Do you need to make a decision now? If you were my friend I wouldn't rush you if the dog was happy.

Do they live close enough for you to consider a dog share when you are feeling better. I’ve read about some families where this works really well and they dogs are fine with it.

would your friends not hang on to him for say six months whilst you work on getting better?

I am so glad that someone talking about rehiring a pet is actually being a responsible pet owner.

He is in a place where he is well cared for and happy. I know you love him, but it sounds as if you can’t take proper care of him. Please don’t feel guilty, it’s not as if you are surrendering him to a shelter, he has a good home and is already settled there.

You are absolutely doing the right thing by letting him go to this home. But I understand it is tough. 💐

You sound like a very lovely responsible pet owner, I'm sure whatever decision you make will be right for the dog.

On the face of it, this sounds like a good solution. But I just want to check, at the risk of sounding naive; would the dog not play a positive part in your recovery?

If you had to commit to walking him for at least 1 hour a day, playing with him for x min a day, and getting into a routine of feeding him. Could that not be a positive component of your day? I've always believed that both the walking and the 'loving' aspect of dog ownership are very positive for mental health. But obviously I appreciate that you know best as to what you need. x

Could you ask if they would be happy to 'foster' him for 6 months, and reassess then?

(I sort of mean, keep the dog as enforced 'me' time. If having a dog is what you love, maybe that could go up higher on the list of things you do, as it could benefit you.)

Thanks for comments and ideas , I think we are going down the route of them temp fostering him and see how it goes , if I’m well enough in matter of months we can then have him back if not , then they will prob keep him long term if that seems in his best interest , they are happy to play it by ear and the main thing is he’s happy and well cared for

Whatever is in the best interest of the dog TBH

Bit of a late update but dog is back with us now has been for a few weeks and it was like he hasn't been away , when he came back
Dogs are so forgiving and loving

I'm so happy for you. Thanks for updating us.