AIBU lie in resentment

[Jellycakes12]

Husband and I have 2 kids -preschool and year 1. He works full time with an hours commute each way, I work 3 days per week , looking after the preschooler in two of the days. We both have pretty stressful jobs. He is a self confessed non morning person and loves his sleep. He affords me one lie in day a week which isn’t often a lie in as he will send the kids away/ tell them to be quiet if it’s before 7.30. I therefore get up to give them breakfast and go back to bed. He explains that as he is angry/ not functioning in the mornings he is the one who gets to sleep in. I explained that as a single parent he’d have to do it but he just said he wouldn’t be a nice parent then. I was wondering whether I’m the only mug out there giving up my mornings. We can’t seem to compromise on this as he actively resists changing his behaviour . Am I being unreasonable to bring in marriage guidance over this?

If he don’t compromise on the mornings, can you have the evening off and not be the one to deal with any nighttime wake ups?

YANBU. My DH is the same, although he works away during the week so as well as working full time I do every morning, evening, meal, childminder drop off, bath etc alone. Weekends he stays up until about 2am and then sleeps until midday. We are seperating following a year of trying to come to some sort of compromise, but the selfish man didn't want to and made no effort to change. I feel your pain, and would recommend taking measures to try and resolve it.

Also he used to say that I'd had enough sleep as I went to bed early, I only went early as I knew I would have to be up in the morning, if I lay in he would leave DS to cry in his cot- so he wasn't doing it because I enabled him, I genuinely think he would have left him to cry until he wanted to wake up.

@FuzzyAtmosphere no cos he sleeps deeply and snores and doesn’t hear!

@Berrymuch it’s so sad isn’t it? Husband leaves them to say I’m hungry and tells them to lie still and be quiet?

OP, not a nice man.
Not willing to compromise.
Protect your and have a back up plan.

Good men, husband's and fathers don't behave like that.
💐

I’m sorry OP, he sounds an awfully selfish man. YANBU.

I couldn’t get worked up over this, he works full time vs your part time so him lying in compared to not having to work for four days a week seems fine to me. If both working full time then one morning each at the weekend would be fair.

I'd be over the moon with your arrangement but then I never get a lie-in so I guess the grass is always greener!

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss do you think OP lies in on her days off? Or has a nice relaxing day?

@Jellycakes12 yes it is, it's horrible, and so selfish.

Make sure your lie day is Saturday, if he sabotages it you get another go on Sunday, continue until you really get a lie in. If necessary outline on paper what needs to be done and how long you are to be left undisturbed.

I would sleep in the spare room, earplugs, a lock on the door. Leave him to get on with it, failing that LTB. He wants everything his own way, don't stand for it.

@Allgirlskidsanddogs