Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I am surrounded by toxic people

2 replies

squishedgrapes · 09/02/2020 01:33

And I just can not do anything about it. I've tried being extra pleasant, calling people out on their behaviour, ignoring things like lies, bitchy snide comments, back handed passive aggressive 'compliments', etc.
But I'm tired and have made the decision that people are not worth knowing, it takes too much emotional energy and I don't have it in me to make effort with people anymore.
The latest has involve the neighbours, they like to watch me when I leave my house, and insult me, or laugh at me openly. A few days ago, someone came to visit them and pulled up as I parked my car. She stood in the porch of the people she was visiting and stood there staring at me, I tried to ignore, but my teenage sons saw her and stared back at her until she stopped. (I did tell them to leave it because she might find it threatening considering they look like men now, and not children) I laughed it off in front of dc, but it really does bother me.
I have a fri end and we were close, but I've come to realise that she lies to me almost constantly. I've asked why and she will just try to brush it off as though it's nothing. For example, we're both single parents and she told me a man I was interested in had a girlfriend and then that he was a lot younger than I thought. When I asked her why, she just thought it was funny. So now my friendship with her is strained because I can not trust her.
Similar has happened to me my whole life.
I collect stalkers everywhere I go, can not make friends, always have problems with neighbours.
I've no idea what is about me.im too old to change who I am. So airbuses to decide most people are not worth the effort

OP posts:
squishedgrapes · 09/02/2020 01:35

Not airbuses, that should say aibu

OP posts:
NotALurker2 · 09/02/2020 03:05

Once you realize the problem is you (which is sounds like you have said in your post) then you're on your way to figuring out what you're doing to attract these kinds of relationships.

One thing you can do is know you are okay on your own. Not only okay to be on your own, but okay inside yourself. That way other people wn't bother you as much. Your friend who lies don't keep friends you don't trust. That is a must for any friendship. You're better off alone than having friends you can't trust. Your neighbors IGNORE. Don't let them bother you, AT ALL. Most people have experienced a bad neighbor relationship at some point. Don't dwell on it.

Trust yourself. Trust that when someone makes a backhanded comment, they are assholes. It's not you. The world is full of all kinds of people. Don't waste your time on the assholes, but don't think there is something wrong with YOU because they exist in the world.

Good luck. I would recommend a therapist but I really don't have any experience with them. Just experience with learning the hard way....

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.