Feeling sad that ex is taking pictures of his girlfriend AIBU

[sadandembarrased2020]

Ex and I were together for 9 years, he moved out 18 months ago and met someone else fairly quickly. We got married really young, had three children young, I suffered with PND, a lot of things happened too much water under the bridge and we decided to split.

I’m not jealous of his girlfriend as in ‘what does she have I don’t’, but I can’t help but feel sad that we never managed to have that kind of relationship. We never went out because of the kids, he probably has one or two old pictures of me on his phone. But there’s no pictures of us together on holidays, days out, restaurants, coffee shops, seaside etc.

He’s got loads of pictures of her on his Facebook, pictures of them together on holidays, coffee shops, restaurants, and and the beach.

Just last week he wanted to show me a video he took of the kids, and as he was going through his photo album on his phone I could just see all these pictures he took of her, and them together.

Just feel so sad that we never got the opportunity to be like that. I know I will probably meet someone in the future that I can have that kind of relationship with, but still feel sad and a bit embarrassed that he hasn’t got any pictures of me in the 9 years we were together!

He’s in the honeymoon period of his new relationship, hence all the photographs.

I think mourning for a relationship you've lost, or even one that never was is very understandable. Be kind to yourself about it but don't dwell on it too much, don't let it grow into something bigger than that.

I totally get where your coming from, however I think to be completely honest people that take a shit tonne of pictures and plaster them onsocial media are often not as happy as they seem. I’ve been with my DH a long while now and we have hardly any pictures together. My friend recently broke up from a 6 year seemingly perfect relationship with tonnes of pictures and loving posts on social media and recently confided that it was absolute shit and she was trying to put on a show.
Not necessarily the truth in your case, but it’s a thought

Things have changed. People Would photograph themselves taking a shit now where as back in the day you actually had to.l be doing something interesting. I’d roll my eyes at them tbh

Yanbu but make a list of things that make you happy and concentrate on those x new memories will come for you x

She might be prompting it.

@TestingTestingWonTooFree my thoughts exactly

@TestingTestingWonTooFree hmm maybe, but to be fair he does like to take pictures. He's got tons of pictures of the kids etc.

He's even got a picture of her sitting in his car for goodness sake fully aware my bitterness is taking over

@Wherearemycrayons I can understand not putting the pictures on social media, but does your DH not really have any pictures of you or together on his phone?

@sadandembarrased2020 no I can’t say he has, I mostly take them on mine but our first picture in ages was at Christmas, most of them are of the kids and we kind of forget about us as a couple. Things for us are certain songs that remind us of a place we went or an embarrassing story or funny memory. Just because he doesn’t have pictures of you doesn’t mean he’s erased his memory :)

Every picture of your children is the life you shared and will always share.

I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out for you, but it may end up being a blessing. You will fall in love again and the time alone should prove useful if you use some of that time to consider the type of relationship that will really make you happy. That won't just be photos, but what they signify, e.g. having someone who you feel is attracted to you and really sees you.

@MRex oh thank you so much, I appreciate that