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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think renting as opposed to buying is not throwing your money away ?

195 replies

Usemyname123 · 08/02/2020 18:52

I am a single 29 year old and do not own a home. I have been told that renting is essentially 'throwing money down the drain' and other words to that effect.
I admire those who are able to save for a deposit as I have a hard time doing so. I think it will take me several years, and I'm single so will potentially be buying something alone.
I think owning a house and being able to have your mortgage paid off so that you can live rent-free in retirement age is the main reason I would buy one.
But sometimes I feel, especially in the UK, that there is this thing about buying a home in order to be complete and fulfilled in life, along with getting married.
I think renting shouldn't have a stigma attached to it, not everybody wants the financial commitment of a house. Personally, I like the fact that I have the freedom to move elsewhere, or that my landlord is responsible for paying for a new washing machine etc.
I don't think that 'just' renting should be seen as some sort of failure, and should be a more celebrated choice as it has many advantages.
However I can also fully understand wanting to purchase a house. It must be a great feeling to know that you are the owner.
Interested to hear others' thoughts.

OP posts:
PinkSparkleUnicorns · 08/02/2020 19:20

I don't judge people who rent. But I'm a home owner and not being one would really stress me out.

We pay less for our mortgage than renters do. We always have that reassurance that we own all that equity and one day it will go to our children. I enjoy pouring money into doing our house up and thinking of how much value we are adding.

I don't think less of renters and can see the positives, it's just not for me. I feel, for me, the positives of ownership far outweigh those of renting.

atomicblonde30 · 08/02/2020 19:21

Depends on how much your local housing allowance is @doing here for me it’s £450 but only because I have 3 kids so would get the 3 bedroom rate. My rent is £700 so wouldn’t cover it all. They don’t do housing benefit anymore.

Itwasntme1 · 08/02/2020 19:26

I certainly don’t look down on renters, but was very focused on buying my own place, which I did at 24. The main reasons are security and the prize of eventually living mortgage free.

It doesn’t make me feel trapped, I could easily sell and move on and while I am here I am in charge.

I will be mortgage free before I am fifty, so will help with financial planning for retirement.

Bagofworries · 08/02/2020 19:28

My mother rents. She is a pensioner. She doesnt have to worry about the boiler breaking down or the windows rotting. She doesnt have to worry about how she will afford to rewire her house or replace her soffits and guttering.
She is happy to leave this up to the landlord.
It is true that she cannot leave her house to anyone in her will, but we all have our own homes now so do not need her house.
Besides, many people who own have the ever present worry that they will need to sell their house in their twilight years to pay for care.
My sister owns her house. She is proud of this. She does not think it is fair that she may one day have to sell her house to fund her care.
On balance, for security reasons, i would much rather have a secure tenancy.

lucy101 · 08/02/2020 19:29

I think those countries like Germany or France that have a lot of renters, have a whole different rental market. Friends in those countries rent the same places for years on end, whether from private landlords or otherwise. It is extremely stressful and expensive renting in the UK in the private sector, I am renting at the moment and can feel the clock ticking to 6 months at which point 2 months notice could be given anytime...

gamerwidow · 08/02/2020 19:30

Doingtheboxerbeat If you're lucky enough to have a HA or council rental with a secure tenancy then you get most of the benefits of home ownership such as security and the right to decorate and do what you like with your home already. Plus you get the added advantage of not having to pay for maintenance when stuff like the heating or plumbing goes wrong.
In your situation I wouldn't be in a rush to buy. My mum is retired and lives in a HA property and her HB covers all but about £10/week of the rent. It's far more likely that HB (or UC as it now is) will cover the vast majority of the rent in a HA property than in a private rent.

Formermousemat · 08/02/2020 19:31

It's an old fashioned attitude that doesn't acknowledge how much life has changed for most people.

Unfortunately these days there are many people who can't afford to save for a deposit, and for whom getting a mortgage would be almost impossible.

FuzzyAtmosphere · 08/02/2020 19:32

I bought when I was younger than you, OP. After a few years I moved in with my now DH and because my house had been affected by the housing crash, we rented it out instead of selling it. Massive mistake. Each year since I have spent more money than I have made. Some years I have only been down by several hundred but usually it’s thousands (most recently more than £30k). It’s an endless expense that I am stuck with right now. I wish I had never bought it. Renting would have been infinitely cheaper.

gamerwidow · 08/02/2020 19:33

I just wish we treated our renters more fairly and the rental market was more like Germany or France. I'd be happy to rent in those circumstances.

Bagofworries · 08/02/2020 19:34

gamerwidow This is exactly the situation my mother is in. Housing benefit covers all of her rent. She receives exactly the same pension as my MIL, yet my MIL bought her house and has to pay for her repairs and upkeep of her house.
I'd far rather be in my mothers position than my MIL's. It is a constant source of worry to my MIL.

chocolateteapot20 · 08/02/2020 19:36

It's not just MN that's obsessed with home ownership, it's one of the truly British obsessions that make many people from other countries look at us in bewilderment. The really stupid thing is that monthly rental payments are often way higher than mortgage payments. But because I was paying all that rent, I was never able to save up enough for a deposit before house prices doubled again and those rungs of the ladder were whipped away.

And unless I wanted to find myself behind bars for murder, it wasn't an option for me to live with my parents until I was 30 or over. They were also unable to provide me with the lovely fat deposits from the BOMAD that the Daily Mail and their ilk conveniently hide in paragraph 7 of those articles about "Janet and John managed to buy this lovely luxury penthouse in Kensington by eating nettles and drinking rainwater for 3 years" they keep peddling.

I am just wondering, of course, how long it will be before any Happy Home Owners reading this will come on to point out that as a tenant you're responsible for your own repairs etc; yeah, well, I've rented several properties where the landlords have been so useless I've ended up having to take responsibility for the repairs, so that argument doesn't hold water outside much of Planet Homeowner, I'm afraid.

I now know an alarming amount about tape, screws, minor plumbing and minor repairs. As well as how to make a tiny, tiny, tiny space liveable. Ikea, I love you. Especially your "think vertical" approach. Anyway, back to the plot.

I had hoped to be able to buy my own home when I was younger; but property prices more than doubled after 9/11, and I'm now too old to get a mortgage and due to illness my income can be a little erratic (self-employed work, which fluctuates). I've long since given up any idea of having my own house, and have come to terms with it by looking at the things I've been able to do because I rented.

This has included living all round the UK and overseas a couple of times, since I was able to move with ease; it's included living in every type of property you can think of from converted Victorian flats with absurdly high ceilings to converted barns; and it's included learning how to look after different kinds of gardens and what will grow in pots, including edibles. I could also write a thesis on how to clean your landlord's property before you vacate so you get the maximum deposit back. (This was in the days before the deposit scheme.)

Plus the DIY stuff I've mentioned. One house-owning friend has been so reliant on the men in her life her entire life that she doesn't know how to change a lightbulb, never mind wire a plug or turn off the stopcock. Not to mention all of the potted plants in her garden weigh so much she needs to get a team of three men in to shift them, she can't do it herself. Oh, yes, I've also learned about the joy of folding furniture and that all that heavy oak furniture so beloved of the late 19th century is utterly impractical when you're five foot tall, female, and on your own.

What it has also meant, however, is that I have essentially been paying someone else's mortgage all those years, and I have never been able to put down roots anywhere or felt I belonged. And I can't help feeling the "sod you Jack" attitude we're now up against as a society is an offshoot of the fact we all live such temporary lives now, in which the buy-to-let brigade play a major part, whether they admit it to themselves or not.

I have a couple of friends who I really get annoyed with when they seem to think home-ownership is a panacea for all life's ills; they've lived in 4 locations within about 30 miles of each other all their lives, and have been lucky enough to double their money or more every time they've moved. (No, it hasn't all been judgment.) Whenever anything happens that has a financial impact, from a bereavement to a job loss, their immediate response is, "Isn't there a property you can sell?" The fact that they even call their addresses "properties" rather than "homes" or even "houses" tells you everything you need to know. Mind you, they don't watch many fictional dramas but they do also think "A Place In The Country" and the like are the best TV programmes out there and every time they visit a new town the first place they head to is the nearest estate agents' window.

Owning a home is no guarantee of happiness, safety or security. Just ask all those people who lost their homes in Australia recently. As for retirement - well, my generation will either a) drop dead in harness, since old age pensions will be a myth by the time we get there so it's likely I will still be working until the day the Grim Reaper knocks on the door b) die of the coronavirus and its mutated descendants (or whatever else comes along) c) have succumbed to climate change in the interim and be living up a hill somewhere trying to eke a living out of watercress and sheep and/or have been slept away by a flood or other "severe weather event" or d) all of the above.

As others have said, the home ownership thing depends very much where you live though. If you live in London, everybody knows that in most areas house prices are so utterly mad that you need to be incredibly lucky, inherit a house, or have a very large BOMAD deposit before you even start. The days of the doer-upper are behind us, as BTL landlords have snaffled so many of those properties.

In Europe and much of America it's much more common to rent than it is in the UK; in some parts of New York I believe rent protections are still in place; and in Germany the tenancy agreements are much more long-term focused than our ridiculous 6 month initial contracts...our attitude to home ownership says a lot about our parochial mentality as a nation, overall, I think.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do; but bear in mind that even if you do buy a house, you can't take it with you. Wink

Usemyname123 · 08/02/2020 19:37

It's interesting to hear all of the different answers.
This may be a naïve question, but are all pensioners automatically entitled to housing benefit on top of their state pension ?

OP posts:
Wynston · 08/02/2020 19:38

We never expected to have a mortgage as we didn't have any funds for a deposit......this changed very unexpectedly about 18months ago with a legacy i was left.
I feel very lucky to now have a mortgage however i feel very worried as the house requires a lot of work and we simply dont have the time or money to do anything to it.
Im very mindful of the huge financial commitment we have and i look back on the days of renting with great fondness.
Im not really sure how i can change this situation but no doubt life will have its own unexpected plan for us.
I didn't realise that people had such great plans for life.......ive always just floated through.

Wynston · 08/02/2020 19:42

Also my belief that im going to leave my children a legacy isnt true as im pretty sure the house will have to be sold to pay for our care in old age......so it really all is all for nothing isnt it???

Cremebrule · 08/02/2020 20:38

Well it depends really. If you are young and looking to have independence, the ability to rent is necessary and useful. If you’re too poor for a mortgage you need to rent. If you’re looking at a temporary move, renting is a worthwhile cost. If you can afford a deposit then I think choosing to rent over buying is crazy. One of my friends could have bought but pisses his money away including renting quite flash London party pads. It’s a total waste in his case but he’s made his choices.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/02/2020 21:38

This may be a naïve question, but are all pensioners automatically entitled to housing benefit on top of their state pension ? No, but if you only get state pension you will be. It's not easy to live on £8000 a year, not if you're paying rent.

stormciarathegale · 08/02/2020 21:55

How on Earth is an essential like shelter seen as 'throwing money down the drain'? Are other essentials like food and power not throwing money down the drain. Of course, YANBU. But then, the private rental laws in the UK as appalling.

Nacreous · 08/02/2020 22:08

Renting isn't inherently "throwing money down the drain".

But I own a small, Victorian terrace. It's a solid house and doesn't need huge amounts of maintenance or huge amounts of money spent on it. The interest on my mortgage is £2000 per year, so around £170 per month. The rent of an equivalent house would be around £650 per month. That's £7,800 per year. £5,800 more than the interest. The capital repayments are a balance transfer from cash to an investment because if I were to sell the house I would liquidate that capital.

My household maintenance costs are really very minimal. I can choose to spend on upgrades if I wish.

It's perfectly legitimate to look at that cost increase of £5,800 per year and conclude you feel it's an acceptable trade off, for the flexibility, lack of responsibility etc. I definitely didn't feel it was an acceptable trade off and wanted to own my own house as soon as possible. I like the security, the fact that if I break something it's only my problem and responsibility and the fact that I can choose which house repairs I prioritise rather than waiting for a landlord to deign to carry them out.

I'm sure there are ways the rental market could be reworked to create more security for tenants and thus make the disparity less, but in its current guise I think renting has disadvantages which for me are not outweighed by the advantages.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 09/02/2020 03:37

@atomicblonde30, my rent is super cheap - less than £400 a month, so HB would probably cover it and @gamerwidow, my tenancy is secure. I really hope nothing changes for the bad in terms of my agreement as I am on quite good money for where I live and what I do, but it wasn't always like this and I would hate to be back renting privately, paying through the nose without security. I appreciate how lucky I am though.

Hidingtonothing · 09/02/2020 03:52

I feel very lucky to have a HA tenancy, buying has never been anything close to an achievable goal for me and renting certainly doesn't feel like throwing money away to me, it's what keeps a roof over my head!

My DM owns her house, she's retired now and the mortgage is paid off but I know she worries about upkeep/repairs now she only has her pension coming in. I'm not sure exactly who gains from the fact that she owns it tbh, I know she intended it as something to pass down to me and DB but there's no guarantee that will happen (possible care costs etc) and I'd rather she'd had less stress and more spare money to enjoy her retirement than leave it to me anyway.

Mintjulia · 09/02/2020 05:07

Is there a stigma attached to renting?

My dsis rents because she dislikes the faff of redecoration, gardening, etc and likes to move job/town/country every couple of years so ownership for her would be inappropriate.

I have a ds in school, where he’ll be for the next 7 years, we aren’t going anywhere, and I like Gardening, styling houses, putting down roots so I own my house.
Choose whatever suits you and ignore other people’s comments.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 09/02/2020 05:08

Renting isn't throwing your money away, but you can't get that money back either.

I'm lucky to have bought in the SE just before the 2008 crash. Twice now I have re mortgaged to release equity and still have 50% ltv. That wouldn't have been an option had I been renting.

GinDaddy · 09/02/2020 05:14

To the people who say "the main reason I bought a house is because I want to leave something to my DCs"

This is why people's retirement planning is sub-optimal, because they "invest" in things that they understand, not the things that would create them the biggest yields in retirement.

Bricks and mortar are the obsession of most British people, because it makes them feel clever. It makes people feel like they've somehow gamed the system, yielding big equity releases upon sale etc.

It is also however a myopic and singular view of investing that eschews all other options, because property is something you can feel and touch, and has an emotional pull to it.

@Usemyname123 you have such a good point in your post and I agree that all this "throwing money away" comments are very insensitive to people who haven't made the same choice.

I am a homeowner outright but interestingly my folks still rent, they follow a German model of how they deal with their housing, they want the flexibility and have a great landlord. They also have a sizeable retirement fund and solid investments. Who is to say what they're doing is wrong, just because they didn't choose to do the same as everyone else?

Weffiepops · 09/02/2020 05:33

Try shared ownership, it's between renting and buying

imip · 09/02/2020 05:45

I think it will always be tough in the private rental market. Generally your mortgage repayments will at some stage be much less than rent payments. I don’t look on rent money as dead money, but if you rent and you are able, it’s worthwhile making sure you have a good pension.

Owning a house for us meant that we have a guaranteed payment we know won’t change (much, hopefully!) in the next 20+ years. It’s enabled DH and I to both go part time/self employed to manage the time/stress involved in looking after our disabled dd. It’d be a much more difficult life style choice to make being unable to have some certainty around rental costs for 20+ years.

I guess it’s different for HA/council house.

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