Is it me?

[Nosenseofhumour]

Please tell me if I need a head wobble or actually I'm right to be irritated.

Been seeing someone for a few months, not very serious yet but has potential. I'm not a huge sports fan, but do quite like watching rugby and some football , he has zero interest in any form of sport, especially hates football but said he would watch rugby maybe.

So we're watching the Scotland England game this afternoon. He keeps chatting unrelated stuff, ok, I answer a bit, then he says he knows why I'm watching, it's so I can look at the tight bums. I make a half hearted "ha ha", and resume watching. He makes no comments on the game (ok it's not the best game ever coz of the weather). Then he says again about why I'm watching, this time I indicated my irritation. He says sorry, I know you don't like being teased. I say it's not that, it's just not funny what you said. He says it is just teasing and it's ok for women to find men attractive.

I know I've got form for taking myself too seriously so maybe I'm just being humourless and unable to see the funny side. And also I was a bit annoyed that I listen to him talking about his interests and try and ask semi intelligent questions, but he didn't try on this.

So mumsnetters, am I just taking myself too seriously and being silly, or is it ok to feel a bit deflated?
Thanks

He's just bored watching a sport he has no interest in. I feel his pain, my dh is currently shouting at the same match.

Is he going to turn into one of those "who are you wearing makeup for now you have me" types do you think?

It's odd. I watch rugby; I grew up going to Welford Rd with my Dad (the Tigers ground, not the prison) and I'd probably laugh the first time then tell them to piss off. Men who can't cope with women who watch sport are asshats.

In his defence it’s a terrible match.

Do you think this relationship has any future ?

@TatoTurner thanks, totally get he's not interested but he said he would watch it, and I'm not interested in his collection of ancient radios but I do try and ask? But yes understand it's boring if you're not into it!

Do you think you’re extra wound up because it’s a rubbish score?

Have a laugh after and something nice to eat.

@FudgeBrownie2019 agreed!

He was trying to join in with sports but bored so ended up talking rubbish. It was nice of him to try, I wouldn't bother watching with him again.

I hate watching sports but have done for both dps and bfs and even I know the unwritten rule is to chat at half time and drink my cider. To then make out you could only have an interest in sport because of men in shorts isn't funny, no, he's projecting because he cannot see what you get out of it and that's the only reason he might ever watch the lionesses presumably. I would not ask you questions during the game but I would feign take an interest in the break because I am nice. Women can like sports ffs. I went to the pub with a mate to watch rugby because it's nice to support your friend in what can be a very male-dominated environment.

@OvaltinaTurner feigning interest would be totally fine as would cider

She was very knowledgeable. I picked up bits and pieces. I liked my cider. I liked the atmosphere in the pub.
Used to go to football with an ex. Again picked up bits and pieces. I liked my pie. I liked some of the singing.

Yanbu I find not being interested in watching / or doing sport a bit of a turn off. I'm not the sportiest but I do like watching it. And a pub date watching the rugby is great fun. And it's a good conversation starter.

However, this afternoons match hasn't been a great game. And if you're not that interested it's a bit dull. I've been on mn for most of it.

So no, I don't think it's you. In any friendship or relationship you share what interests you and they become shared interests or you agree to disagree and have some lone hobbies/interests you do with other people instead. If you do give something a go though, you really should make an effort otherwise what's the point of going along.
Maybe (she says sexist-ly) women are better at it: when I think about it, I have often gone along with others' choice of gig or film choice without then slagging it but not sure whether men have done the same. Maybe it's been my choice of men or maybe I am a pleaser/doormat. I watched Grace and Frankie and the sister was in an early relationship whereby the bloke admitted he had zero interest in flowers and hated Ed Sheeran
It's fine to have different tastes and interests: not so good to actually question why someone else has different tastes and interests.
You do you. He does him. You won't necessarily convert him. He shouldn't be questioning you/ruining the match cos he's bored if he chose to watch.

then he says he knows why I'm watching, it's so I can look at the tight bums

I would be offended if I was enjoying watching a sport out of genuine interest and someone I saw as potential relationship material thought I was paying so much attention to it to ogle the players' bodies.

That comment suggests you're being disingenuous in feigning an interest in the sport for shallow reasons and would make me think 'god, you don't know me at all, do you?'.

But I'm pretty serious IRL too, OP, so perhaps it is a really funny joke to other people!

@OvaltinaTurner wise advice thanks and to everyone else. Yes it's not the best game even if you are totally mad about it, it's just the lack of effort when (I think anyway) I try and feign interest in valves ftom the 1930's

He says sorry, I know you don't like being teased So why did he continue to do it then?

And why did he continue to insist that you were only watching so you could ogle men's bums. You told him that wasn't why you like to watch the sport, but he doesn't believe you.

Teasing someone when you know they don't like it and have asked you to stop isn't teasing any more, is it? It's needling, goading, and on the verge of bullying behaviour.

Next thing will be him telling you that you're over-reacting and being ridiculous.

I have a hobby where the overwhelming majority of participants are men - about 90%/10% men to women. I'm not interested in the hobby so I can spend loads of time with other men, I enjoy the hobby in its own right. I'd be absolutely livid if DH accused me of only wanting to participate because of all the blokes there, especially if he then continued to believe it anyway, and 'teased' me about it.

I'd be annoyed at being interrupted while trying to watch, after I'd expressed initial irritation.

I've learned to enjoy watching sports because of my sons. I never watch it on my own, but when it's on for them, I enjoy sitting down with them and watching it.

Is he like this in other ways, too? If you can let sports be something you just don't do together, then maybe it can work. (How interested are you in old radios, and what does sharing his interest involve?)

@NotALurker2 truthfully not very interested in radios, but I've found museum exhibitions to go to, and helped patch up one, so I thought I'd made an effort. You're probably right, we will have separate interests and that's ok, it's just the imbalance (my perception obv) that he was not trying on the rugby and thought he was being funny, and I thought i was trying on his interests. Food for thought!