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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Motivational Presentations

18 replies

Shopy1407 · 08/02/2020 18:05

Would you mind motivational speakers coming in to schools?

I'm talking about how teens can avoid the pitfalls of life as I've led it.

I want to show them specific examples of what I've done wrong and how to stop it early. I'm talking, Drink driving, Gas lighting (narcissism) , Cheating, Scamming, Tax evasion, Having liver failure through alcoholism, depression etc....

Basically the realities of life if you follow the wrong path. I did all of this without social media so I dread to think what could happen with it.

Thanks in advance

Simon

OP posts:

Whatsername177 · 08/02/2020 18:18

As a head of year, I'd want to know how your presentation fits in to the SMSC requirements of the curriculum. I'd want to know what support sites your are affiliated with, what themes your session will explore (beyond personal anecdotes) and what experience you have working with young people.

Whatsername177 · 08/02/2020 18:19

Also,unlikely you'd get through the door of a school without am enhanced DBS check.

TraumaSaurus · 08/02/2020 18:23

I want to show them specific examples of what I've done wrong and how to stop it early

I wouldn't want you anywhere near a school to be honest - the majority of the errors in life you've made are not serious concerns to the majority of young people today.

If you were talking about gang avoidance, dealing with mental health issues in teenager years, issues with being BAME, and avoiding/escaping county lines I would be more interested.

hazell42 · 08/02/2020 18:23

Personal experience is fine but only in conjunction with some professional qualifications
otherwise you are just a random person saying don't do as I do, do ad I say
And they probably already know dozens of them
Sorry

ShinyMe · 08/02/2020 18:23

I work in a college, and I doubt we'd book random speakers who approach us wanting to talk to our young people. When we want speakers, we approach charities or organisations related to the topics we're interested in. For example recently we've had people in from an eating disorders charity, and from Mind, and from the police. An individual approaching us who isn't affiliated to any charity or organisation or group would just have too many red flags about it I'm afraid, no matter how well meaning you are.

Original poster

Shopy1407 · 09/02/2020 12:45

I am currently looking at becoming involved with affiliated groups. I am in the process of an Enhanced DBS which will show my Drink driving conviction.

In terms of saying the things are not relevant to todays kids is not true as I allude to in the presentation. Why would the Government specifically change the law around coercive control if it was happening in todays modern society?

All of the things I did have relevance to them, I tried to be the strongest one and then the situation escalated and I worried about getting stabbed due to people taking revenge.

I had mental health issues, dealing with homelessness because of the things I did, turning to alcohol.

OP posts:

Original poster

Shopy1407 · 09/02/2020 12:52

I do have personal anecdotes but also statistics showing the change over the years and the fact that these things have escalated not diminished. They are just called different things in todays society.

NPD - now called gaslighting
Filming your sexual partners - now called revenge porn
Addictions - Gambling, Gas canisters, they don't do these things because they are happy people.
Kids turning to a poor life because they don't have a stable family life - now called county lines.

I can show patterns, statistics, and trends to prove my point I just didn't want to crowd the forum when looking for your ideas.

OP posts:

Whatsername177 · 09/02/2020 12:58

Much of what you are saying is completely inappropriate for a school audience. We tackle coercive control by teaching about healthy relationships, triggers and warning signs. Educators tread a very fine line between education and the personal baggage so many of our kids come with. There are very strict protocols. You need to be aware of the educational policies, curriculum and the law before putting together any kind of presentation.

DBML · 09/02/2020 12:59

My son had an ex gang member in to speak to his school. He had been to prison for stabbing someone. He obviously was on tour around schools sharing his experience of how he evade embroiled with gangs and how he eventually managed to rehabilitate.
My son found it tremendously interesting. I would expect he’d have had the correct checks and qualifications in place.

DBML · 09/02/2020 12:59

became not evade 😡

Whatsername177 · 09/02/2020 13:02

We had the company 'Words over Weapons' come into do the same thing. It was brilliant- but clearly linked to the SMSC curriculum and was a legitimate charity.

Original poster

Shopy1407 · 09/02/2020 13:39

I do appreciate that somethings are not appropriate language, themes and undertones. I was more paraphrasing than giving the exact nature of what I was thinking of talking about, however do believe things need to be talked about openly and clearly to get across.

I do appreciate the feedback and haven't set this up yet hence the research.

OP posts:

mantarays · 09/02/2020 13:39

Honestly, this sounds quite depressing for young people. Most of the things you mention are the result of an accumulation of poor choices, and school age children need much simpler lessons: how to keep their bodies healthy, how to behave towards others, what the law says about X, Y, Z. Even if you were hired by a school, I am not sure they would find this content “motivational”.

WalkingDeadTrainee · 09/02/2020 13:48

Am I missing something?
NPD is not gaslighting?
Filming your sexual partners is not a revenge porn. Revenge porn is releasing the said film without partner's consent as a revenge.
Kids turning to a poor life because they don't have a stable family life is not now called county lines . County lines have nothing to do with many kids who "turned to poor life" whatever that means anyway

Am I seriously missing something?

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 09/02/2020 14:01

So you have been through what many have been through but is your life interesting I doubt it is to others (like most of lives)

I work with ex gang members been to prison etc who do fantastic work with young people but it’s because many teenagers find gangs scary and exciting and have an interest in drugs and some can relate to them due to their upbringing. These guys have big personalities too are warm and at the same time slightly edgy so instantly admired they are the sort of people that others want to be around if they didn’t have this sort of personality I’m not sure it would work as well if they were not like this

It’s sounds as though you have been through difficult times but I can’t see your life being of much interest to teenagers (tax evasion)

Original poster

Shopy1407 · 09/02/2020 14:01

That's because some of our kids are depressed. I agree the things that need to be discussed do need to be simplified but I was explaining it in an adult forum so used the language I did.
The kids don't care about the law hence why they still run country lines and carry knives, You call them poor choices, they are kids they make poor choices.. The problem is in todays society we don't teach them the real life consequences of these poor choices. The result of bullying someone on FB can lead to someones death, the result of posting a picture on twitter can ruin your job prospects. It may not be motivational but it is reality.

OP posts:

mantarays · 09/02/2020 14:06

In the position of a school leader, I am looking to put role models and truly inspirational people in front of students. Yes, some of them may have turned their lives around, but I would be very wary of someone standing up and simply narrating their own life story of criminality and dysfunction. Young people have much better things to do with their time than that. Sorry.

If I am missing something and you have gone in to achieve amazing things, that might be different.

Stompythedinosaur · 09/02/2020 14:37

I work with teenagers who have committed offences. I think the issues effecting teens now are very different to those of my own youth. We have had people previously involved in gangs talk to our kids about how they got out, and why that has been positive, but only when carefully vetted and from known organisations (because if not carefully managed talks of that sort can help to glorify gang culture). We wouldn't use an individual without this.

Also, npd is different to gaslighting.

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