To fear the massage stigma

[Woosar]

I would like to start my mobile massage business but I have become somewhat annoyed/fearful of what I am up against.

I have heard many stories of how even beauty therapists working in official premises are propositioned by married and single men for sex. My friend told me her sister was even propositioned by a celebrity whilst she worked in an official hotel spa. What chance have I got as a mobile masseuse working in people's homes.

I live in a wealthy area and was talking to a secondary school mum about aromatherapy essential oils and I mentioned that I would like to add this service once I started my massage business. Her attitude towards me completely changed, it was very strange. Do these people think we are all offering illicit services?

I have become scared to advertise my services as I have heard that even legitimate masseuse businesses receive inappropriate requests, even though they state they are legitimate services. The fact that school mums seem to look down on you doesn’t seem to bode well either. The fact that I am highly educated in a core subject and they are barely educated but live on the the fruits of their husband’s or parent’s labour, doesn’t seem to deter their snobbery. I am worried my child will be targeted in this well to do area.

Does anybody have any advice on where to advertise to deter sexual enquiries and how to handle the stigma from these school mothers in particular?

Thank you.

To the contrary it was her “advertising” the essential oils she buys. The apprehension comes from other therapist’s experiences of being propositioned by married and single men alike. You are probably right I should ask other therapists how they handle this type of unwanted attention, I just thought I may find some mother’s here who have children and do this therapy.

I really didn’t mean to sound arrogant, I am just fed up with these insecure, underachieving, grabby women/families who deem other hardworking families beneath them if they don’t believe them to be on par with our lifestyles. If that offends people, well I don’t know what to tell you. If it was just me I would not give a flying f*.

Haha!

Beset on all sides eh OP.

SuperMeerkat yes. Although this really doesn't sound like the Hull we know and love.

I'm off to find that thread now.

I wouldn't work as a mobile massure. For your own safety I'd set up a treatment room in your home.

You’re just digging a deeper hole with every post and you don’t sound “highly educated” at all. Your syntax is really strange, if English isn’t your first language I apologise but you seem to be confusing florid vocabulary with intelligence.

Are you actually qualified in massage and aromatherapy?

Who cares if someone judges you whilst paying you money! Just take their money and skip off to the bank with it. You want their money, not their approval. The latter is irrelevant.

I think you're being a bit pathetic.

I know of several mobile massage services in our area that manage to keep things wholly professional, by being wholly professional.

My dad has a woman come to the house to give ‘massages’. She’s clearly a prostitute. The fact she got in bed with him rather than use a treatment table kind of gave it away. Even more horrifying was his need to tell me. I think you’d find it very difficult to be taken seriously and not be propositioned.

A friend of mine is an at home massage therapist and she regularly gets asked if she does extras. I've also seen signs up at massage rooms I've been to saying please do not ask.
You'll just have to be polite but firm.

As a massage therapist, I was tempted to answer your very legitimate question, but honestly, you need to get to grips with your attitude towards other people.

Who are you to judge if someone is underachieving or grabby? Theres very good chance you don't know their lives as well as you think you do.

No decent person wants to go to a judgemental massage therapist.

The fact that I am highly educated in a core subject and they are barely educated but live on the the fruits of their husband’s or parent’s labour, doesn’t seem to deter their snobbery

well you're a little charmer, arent you

I know a massage therapist. She has been propositioned a few times, had men put their hands on her bum etc.

Did you call yourself a masseuse or massage therapist? The former is often used as code for prostitute and I’d perhaps make the same face tbh.

You are going to have to have strong boundaries to counter sexual advances and be polite to your clients even if they turn their nose up at you. Some people always will you know.

Excuse my ignorance but what do you mean by "A core subject"?

If you have to keep saying "but" after the phrases "I am not arrogant" "I am not sneering" and "I am not judgemental" then have a think about whether you're being honest with yourself.

If you come across in real life the way you're coming across on this thread then the other parents at the school might just be responding to your attitude rather than judging you on anything else.

As for your original question, I would start with a women only service and then decide whether you even need to offer to a wider market and if so, cross that bridge when you come to it as you will have better contacts and industry experience.

I am just fed up with these insecure, underachieving, grabby women/families

FFS.

Have a word with yourself.

This is the funniest thread for ages. You must be the Mrs Bucket (bouquet) of the massage therapy world. I would let you chatter on whilst giving me a massage, giggle internally and use it as laughter therapy too. Just get over yourself!

Best of luck with your business start up. 💐

You will get requests for extras. I just said 'no'. no discussions, just 'no'. I rented premises where a chaperone could be requested, making that clear was useful but usually 'no' was enough, and payment up front in case they tried to reduce it once it was clear nothing else was forthcoming, so to speak. A deposit when booking is a good idea as you will get no shows, and payment in advance for a course.

I have also seen ads which clearly state that nothing else is available.

I really didn’t mean to sound arrogant, I am just fed up with these insecure, underachieving, grabby women/families
Wow, you really are a treat aren’t you.
Good luck setting up your massage business, with your attitude I’m sure you’ll have clients queuing up.

There are readily available establishments where you can get a decent massage plus a "happy ending" if you want one. If i were a female who was a skilled masseuse/physio, id happily give a massage and wank the guy off at the end for what,,£50-60 quid a pop,,easy money..but i digress..no touching of course..

I appreciate those of you who offered me valuable, considered advice; especially in regards to my safety - it is much appreciated. You obviously have experience of the things that I have been warned about.

To those of you that are highly insecure and easily triggered regarding the disdain /dismay for people that sneer at those less fortunate than themselves, go and find some humility. Mind you don’t bother, life has a tendency to humble.

Thank you

There are several massage therapists I know who only treat female clients; if men contact them they simply say they're not accepting clients right now, or their books are full, or something along those lines. There's good advice about marketing and so on at www.growincloud.co.uk/18-simple-ways-set-mobile-massage-therapy-business/

Some of your attitudes are a wee bit strange though for someone contemplating working in complementary medicine, which, like medical and nursing practice, requires you to be as non-judgmental as possible. Most of the therapists I know are even more right on than the medically qualified folk and many have moved into the complementary field after having children, for instance. They're all pretty caring individuals. What's your reason for wanting to start a massage business?

While the massage industry in the UK is currently unregulated, for insurance purposes alone, I'm presuming you've completed, or are about to complete, a reputable course in (for example) Swedish Massage as the absolute basic foundation? Insurance companies vary in the coverage they're prepared to offer, but I'll be surprised if there are many out there who'll insure a massage therapist with no qualifications.

Preferably one that's approved by a reputable organisation like the Federation of Holistic Therapists? Many if not all of these courses have a module on business management, and your concerns would be questions you could bring up with the instructor.

And when you say you want to add essential oils to your business, do you mean selling them as a rep or using them in your massage? If the latter, you might like to check your insurance covers you, and personally, I'd be looking to do something like an ITEC Diploma in Aromatherapy.

And I second the advice up-thread about being careful about visiting people in their homes. Again, many of the self-employed therapists I know rent a room by the hour or day in reputable holistic centres, or in some cases may visit workplaces and deliver, say, Indian Head Masage in a dedicated room set aside by the employer. You'll still need insurance though!

Arnoldthecat

I am a physio, but that was definitely not on the curriculum!

Thank for the advice everyone!

Aha.

You're a physio. It makes sense now

You must be about the fifth physio I've encoutered who has a massive, MASSIVE chip on their shoulder about what they do. I don't get it!

Can a normal sensible physio give their opinion?

Are there a lot of people in physio who weren't clever enough to get within a country mile of doing medicine and this is the result? No disrespect to physiotherapy! - but this is totally something I've noticed.

OP is of course an extreme example with the nutso 'I am so intelligent' delivery.

To those of you that are highly insecure and easily triggered regarding the disdain /dismay for people that sneer at those less fortunate than themselves, go and find some humility. Mind you don’t bother, life has a tendency to humble.

Haha! You didn't trigger me, you just sounded like a nob