to call this "misogynistic verbal abuse"?

[daretodenim]

DD6 was walking in the corridor at school and told aggressively to "Get out the way you fucking bitch." by an 11 year old boy.

She's been quite upset by it - obviously he was bigger and she was scared by it all.

I want to write to the school (I don't normally). I am upset that my daughter has already been frightened by a bigger male using sexist language at age 6.

AIBU to refer to the use of the phrase as misogynistic verbal abuse? It's what I feel it is and would be were she an adult, but I'm not sure I'm seeing straight right now!

Sounds reasonable (although I would directly quote it in any communication, as the description doesn't get it across in the same way repeating it would) - the boy in question is obviously exposed to such language in respect of his mother, which makes it a potential safeguarding issue in terms of his home life.

They wouldn't be able to tell you if they do anything about it, though.

Thanks.
I don't expect them to tell me what happens, but I want to convey that it's unacceptable, not a case of "oh dear, that's not nice but these things happen" (which I know is how life works, but don't want her experiencing this as normal at age 6!).

It is mysogynistic verbal abuse, but I don't see the need to put that in the letter. Just quote what he said.

Definitely contact the school. Firstly because it was very scary for your poor dd and she needs to know that the adults who care for her (both at home and at school) will protect her.

Secondly because of the safe guarding issue. It's unusual language for a child to be using at primary school. I'd be worried about where he'd heard it and be concerned for his mum.

Name change fail?

I'd have called them and gone in to see them about it. Telling them what he said should be enough that's appalling.

It is misogynistic verbal abuse of course.

Your poor DD.

I’d be raising it from the point of view of a safeguarding issue too, odd thing for an 11 year old to say, he certainly needs talking to.

Your poor dd that’s very unpleasant and I’d be surprised if the school attempted to minimise it.

I'd have complained to the school straight away. Thats appalling behaviour for the age group. Girls should be safe from that kind of abuse at school.

I've sent an email. Thanks everybody. She only told me a couple of hours ago, so I have reacted immediately.

I remember "big boys" calling me "silly" or something at that age and feeling shy and intimidated, but not what she was called. On one hand worse can happen but on the other it's broken my heart to have such a little girl called that at school so early.

Her father wanted to talk to the boy himself! I got him round the idea of me writing a strongly worded email and letting the school deal with it!

Thats if the school do deal with it.

@1066vegan Did you? What name did you intend to use?

I would call that verbal assault. He’s over age ten, he has criminal liability. I’d make the school aware that it is a criminal offence and you are considering a police complaint, that should make them take it more seriously. Otherwise they may well ignore it.

Don’t know why you stopped your partner from speaking to the boy’s Dad, I don’t think you did your daughter a favour there, that’s much more likely to stop such behaviour than a telling off from the head (if the head even bothers).

Our school has a bully who kept thumping a classmate. The school tellings off had zero effect. Then at pickup the victim’s mum happened to meet the bully’s mum, and went absolutely nuts at them. Bullying stopped immediately.

That would be verbal assault.
By a bigger boy.
Very serious.
I would be into the school and asking exactly what they are going to do about it.

I wouldn't hesitate to tell a school I will be reporting what happened, on their watch, to my child to the police if it is not taken extremely seriously.

I would not accept being brushed off.
I can tell you my husband would be apoplectic at either of our DD's being spoke to like that.

In truth, I cannot imagine the schools my children go to not taking it very seriously.

Absolutely appalling behaviour.

That boy needs sorting out firmly by the school or the police.

I had a name change fail earlier but it was rectified.

I'm not in the U.K. so not sure what the law is. It's an English language school though.

DH wanted to speak to the kid himself, not the kid's father. I don't think that's appropriate - the school should be handling it. Grown man speaking to 11 year old boy isn't a good idea. From what I've seen with other parents trying to sort things out between themselves, it hasn't ended well either, especially if the parent is of the "my child would never behave like that" variety (no idea who this boy is or who his parents are).

Honestly though I was glad to see other people find it equally unacceptable though.

Definitely the school is the first port of call. It happened on their grounds.

I hope it gets settled to your satisfaction.