To ask what people actually BUY on their weekly shop?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I struggle with getting enough to last for the week. There's DH and I but he works away Monday to Friday mostly and there are two DD's aged 15 and 11.

We eat what most people eat for meals...roasts, curries, home made burgers, salads, homemade pizza, baked potatoes, spag bol...that kind of thing.

I don't like buying a lot of crap snacks so tend to get fruit, eggs, cheese, plain crackers, instant noodles...also jam and peanut butter.

But what am I missing that my DD"s are always complaining their friends have WAY more nice food in their fridges?

I also struggle finding both girls things for packed lunches that they will actually eat.

Last week I gave up and got them those protein milkshakes on one day because I was so desparate for them to actually eat something during the day!

If I gave them something like Nutella sandwiches, crisps etc they'd eat that but nothing healthy!

I am going shopping tomorrow and want to reduce the time I visit the shops AGAIN during the week after my 'big shop'. Any ideas on what I am missing from my list?

Simple.

1. Eat what you're given OR
2. Don't eat at all.

That's about it. Worked for my grandmother, for my mother and for me. 'They don't eat babybel, don't eat sandwiches, don't eat wraps, don't eat scones, don't eat salad, don't eat this and this and that' - how ridiculous. My mother would have told me to piss off then (in nicer words) and go hungry. For the record, we didn't lack money nor food, there were more than enough of both, but my mother didn't fuss with us. She'd provide us with a reasonable lunch (one option) and that's it, take it or leave it, not her problem. Well she didn't put the stuff we really hate in (like peas/rice/cheese for me), but that's as far as her kindness went.

And...packing lunch for a 15 year old, practically adult? Sweet jesus... No comments. You must have tons of spare time and don't work. Don't you have a life of your own?

On the other hand, you do sound boring and extremely rigid and I'm quite sorry for your kids. I agree about crisps and sugary junk in abundance, but babybel and peperami being such a horrible thing? Well I eat healthy and I'm underweight, not overweight, but jesus, live a little. You can't live on kale all the time.

I’m the same as you, we might buy a pack of doughnuts at the weekend but don’t buy treats as par for the course.

My DD likes it if I chop pineapple, melon etc into boxes. Also, smoothies/juice are a bit of a treat but I limit to one short glass a day each due to both sugar and cost. We buy plain yoghurt and stir in fruit or jam.

Hummus and brown pitta is relatively cheap and healthy for a snack. Same with cherry tomatoes and chopped cucumber.

My dc are always amazed how much food is in peoples fridges.

My fridge is always quite empty

I find it very unnerving to have a full fridge

A big jar of home made trailmix is good too - pretzels, nuts, raisins, mini cheese crackers, crunchy m&ms.

Well your children are obviously not unnerved at seeing food in other people's fridges, Olviersmumsarmy, perhpas you should ask them what they would like to see in their own?

Not a chance my mum would have been packing my lunch box at 11, not to mention 15. I'd show them a few documentaries about healthy eating, then discuss weekly menu and they can decide what they will cook for family on their nights.
If they want veggie sushi, let them make veggie sushi, it's not exactly complicated.

ShadowOnTheSun My secondary school aged child would choose just not to eat at all at school if I didn't buy food they liked, and I've cut up veg sticks and put them in the fridge for them too as they will eat them but not prepare them. Children have preferences just like adults do, so as long as it's within budget I will buy my child what they like for lunch.

I see it as my responsibility as a parent to make sure my child has food so they can learn effectively at school. I also want to set them up with good eating habits for life. They help prepare dinner and do their fair share of household chores, so I don't mind doing what I do, even when they are 'practically adult'.

I don't do a weekly shop now, but when I did I bought -
ingredients for 7 dinners
Box of cereal and milk
Ingredients for packed lunches - bread, fillings, yoghurts, crisps,etc
Ingredients for 2 weekend lunches (stuff like beans on toast)
Fruit
A couple of packets of biscuits.
Sundries like butter, jam, flour, salt and pepper, ketchup, etc.
Tea/coffee/squash for drinks
Topped up on bread and milk during the week, but only because I had a tiny freezer.
Snacks were things like toast and jam or a bowl of cereal, or an ice pop in the summer, or a small cornet from the ice cream van. Or something they bought out of their pocket money.
They've all grown up to be healthy adults, and none of them hate me because I didn't cater to every little whim or provide an endless supply of food.

Also kids really don't need to graze and peck constantly at snacks. Hunger is not a bad thing - a hungry child eats well at meals.

I really notice that the days my son has a lot of snacky bits between meals, he tends to have little or no appetite for the meal. Unsurprisingly, the snacks he is most drawn to would not give him balanced nutrition. I find that if I keep him busy he doesn't ask for snacks and then come dinner time, wolfs down a balanced meal.

If you make homemade pizza, would they have a slice cold in their lunch, or make the pizza base, spread the tomato sauce and the cheese in and roll it up. Also, homemade sausage rolls with shortcrust pastry and some carrot and onion grated in? You can make both, shove in the freezer then put it in the oven in the morning.
I would also expect two teenage girls to be making their own packed lunches. Don't like what you do, make it yourself. They will soon get sick of nutella sandwiches. My DS's are 8 and 11. I do the main ( they dont really like sandwiches so Ill give them a pasty, sushi boxes sometimes but Im not sure you can get them ready made in Australia, wraps etc and they put the rest of the bits in. I used to make my own lunch when I was 16 and remember liking crackers with a tub of cream cheese.

Maybe if you just chilled out about their diet and stopped going on about how processed babybel was, they would get tired of winding you up?

If you ask my ds there is never a scrap of food in the house.. though my salad drawer and fruit bowl are rarely below half full, and there is always a few bowls of carrot sticks cucumber peppers, cubed cheese, etc prepared for snacks always some sort of left over pasta or rice in tubs.. and dips.. sliced meats, always crackers and yogurts but we dont have ANY food In the house..

Sorry To answer your question I buy variety of fresh fruits and veg. Eggs, cheddar, soft cheese, bread, crackers, large packs of chicken breast and mince which I split into portions and individually wrap breasts to freeze, I will always have some of them microwave steam bags in the freezer. Cereals, nuts... and dog food... not that, that is relevant

The eat or starve idea just doesn't work for some children. I ended up under a consultant as a child as I chose the starve option. I once ate nothing for five days as my mother refused to pander to me. Now I realise I don't like tomatoes which were the base of almost every meal my mother cooks. He told my mother, give her whatever she will eat. It isn't worth making a battleground over food. I will still not eat rather than eat something I don't like. I also don't like cold food at all except for sushi. When I lived in Korea it was bliss as every meal was hot and a huge variety of dishes so everyone had something they liked on the table. I hate sandwiches.

I think everything in moderation really. Protein shakes aren't necessarily bad, but better to make them yourself. My brother is on a very healthy diet and has protein shakes every morning. One thing I do is look through recipes on pinterest as it gives me new ideas of things to try. You could suggest your daughtsrs look through it and come up with some ideas for lunches. Get them used to meal planning too and also cooking. Suggest they come up with a meal a week.

I just realised I didn't write down snacks. I have hot popcorn, which isn't that unhealthy if you don't put sugar etc on it. I have full fat yoghurt, cubes of cheese. I have packs of blueberries and grow my own in summer, as well as strawberries, gooseberries, blackberries and raspberries. I have seaweed sheets I like to nibble on. Nuts. We like healthy fats here and eat a lot fewer carbs. I sometimes have boiled eggs in the fridge too.

I think you need to ease up a bit. Pepperami and babybel aren't that bad. I love smoked cheese, you could give them a few slices of that. The thing is, you can control their food up to a point but in a few years you will have no say at all. A friend won't let her children have full fat yoghurt and buys them low fat, which is full of sugar. Pick your battles

To answer original question: i buy, fresh fruit & veg, meat & fish (mainly mince, chicken thighs, pork shoulder steaks, lamb neck fillets, prawns, cod loins, salmon fillets), flours, milk, sugar, butter, eggs, cheese, nut butters, oils, various dried grains, (oats, barley etc), tinned tomatoes & beans, toilet rolls, cleaning products, cat food. Sometimes I buy yoghurt, occasionally I make it.

The eat or starve idea just doesn't work for some children

You are talking extremes though where your mum cooked all tomato based foods which is just cruel.
Most parents wouldn’t try to cook something everyone would eat part of at least. It does not have to be all or nothing.

My weekly shop will have vary slightly depending on what main meals we will be having but until my now 17 year old went to college I would do the following for his lunch box (he didn't want school dinner):
Cold pasta salad (made the day before with tuna and sweet corn or just pesto and salad)
Wraps - chicken salad or cheese and ham
Chicken salad - with loads of tomatos, pine nuts, and crunch salad toppings
Cous cous with roasted vegetables in a Tupperware box
Soup in one of those special travel mugs that keep it warm.
Cold pizza

The eat or starve idea just doesn't work for some children
Tell me about it, one of my kids would only eat 5/6 things in miniscule portions. Even he had to adapt to my budget though. I remember telling him 'I suggest you eat all of your dinner, even if you don't like it, because there is no food or money to buy any at all until tomorrow morning' . Funny enough, he did actually manage to eat his dinner after that.
I know there are a tiny number of children that will starve themselves, but thats just the extreme end of a spectrum really. There's nothing to suggest the OP's children are on that extreme. They're more likely just used to being catered to, having all their preferences met, plenty of treats, and never experienced real hunger or deprivation.

@PattiPrice To be fair to my mum, I didn't really get that it was tomatoes that were the problem as a child. I would just say, I don't like that. So it would be, I hate pizza, I hate chilli, I hate spaghetti bolognese, I hate this lasagna. I don't think she made the connection until I tried a friend's pizza and liked it to everyone's surprise, only for my friend to say she used a garlic sauce base rather than tomato.

I think in general some children are just stubborn too and it becomes a huge battle of wills. For example, my husband likes raw carrot, but dislikes it cooked. I would have just chopped some raw carrot and given it on their plate. To this day she dishes up cooked carrot and makes a big deal able him not eating it. He is 40 🤣 She also won't accept that I hate olives. So I personally prefer the approach where I get children to try a spoonful of something and if they don't like it, okay. There will be something else on the table they do like instead even if it means their dinner that day is green beans alone. That way they try a lot of different flavours, but it doesn't become a huge thing of eat or starve, if that makes sense. It also makes them more willing to try as they know there won't be some huge argument about it. I totally get some parents do it out of sheer frustration as all their children will eat is chicken nuggets or chocolate. I am just coming at it from a food is fuel, not a battle and if here the daughters have a generally healthy diet with nutella sandwiches for lunch, it isn't worth the eat this healthy lunch or starve argument. Hope that makes sense.

My eldest 2 don’t like sandwiches. Dd12 will take a flask of soup, or just a selection of snacks: cereal bar, fruit, popcorn.
Ds15 tends to snack on granola, cereal bars, fruit and popcorn at school. He used to also accept tuna sandwiches or hummus and veg/ pitta.
At home they’ll eat cheese, cereal, malt loaf, yoghurt, pancakes, cereal bars, fruit, crackers

my DD doesn't like sandwiches says both butter and cheese taste wrong by lunch time and it spoils bread, i have little cooler bags but still won't eat sandwiches later she now says school dinners as by the time I had bought alternatives that didn't involve bread or wraps it was almost as much as school dinners not workth the hassle

anytime I do not secondary schools anywhere have lunch box police even in England nut bans aren't encouraged at secondary either

I shop like you op and avoid processed and junk food as much as possible. But my kids are much younger and I don't think restricting them this much when they're older is that helpful. They can go out and buy their own junk food surely anyway?

I would probably try to find things that you're both partially happy with. Bagels with salmon and cream cheese? Pasta carbonara/pesto pasta. Mini sausages/sausage rolls. Breadsticks and veg with houmous or guacamole. Homemade flapjacks filled with nuts and seeds. I make some with condensed milk, oats and cranberries and they're amazing but have some good stuff in as well.

Maybe you could let them have crisps and other bits a few times a week if they eat healthier choices a few times. They need to learn everything in moderation anyway as in a few years you won't have any control over what they eat.

I'm with you op, and I'm surprised at all these people calling it a restrictive diet 🤷‍♀️

I'm quite laid back and no food is off limits but lots of the stuff people have listed on here we would only eat occasionally.

@TeacupDrama - she’s right! Honestly reading your post just then I could taste the memory of cheese sandwiches out of my lunch box! I don’t know what it is but it taste very distinctive. I do eat cheese sandwiches now but only fresh ones!

Is it different snacks they are after? We have things like houmous and veg sticks, hot cross buns, crumpets, bagels, malt loaf, strawberries, grapes, avocado, cheese strings, babybels, nuts, popcorn and also sometimes crisps, cereal bars, nakd bars, penguins and mini cookies also the occasional donut from the bakery!

My DD has for packed lunch: cream cheese or cheese sandwich, carrot sticks or mini cucumbers, fruit and something from the snack list above.