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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ex manager is being inappropriate

49 replies

Cocopines · 07/02/2020 14:46

I work for a big company on a temporary assignment basis, so am on their pay role permanently and work wherever they need me, transferring between different departments. Last week I left a new assignment after a few days as it wasn't a good fit for me. I have never done this before and was worried about leaving. They were disappointed but wished me well. I now have a new assignment starting next week, still as same big company. Ex supervisor emailed me today and asked me to change my Linkedin profile which states I still work at company. She does not know I have new role starting next week (within same company) however I think this is bloody cheeky and rude since what business is it of hers? Is she stalking my Linkedin profile? Plus we left on good terms so I'm a bit surprised by this random email. Do I reply and say get lost I actually have another placement starting next week or just ignore because I don't think I need to justify myself?

OP posts:
Jux · 07/02/2020 16:16

ignore ignore ignore.

You're OK, you've got another placement with the same company, you're still on the payroll, and she's not from HR is she? She has no business contacting you over this.

Can you quietly draw attention to it with your new manager when you start your new role? That's as far as I'd go, I think.

Concentrate on your new placement and leave her to her busybodyness.

ShouldistayShouldigo · 07/02/2020 16:54

"Thank you for your concern but my employer details are correct and up to date."

Don't let her find out the information she is looking for (by saying you are in another department/starting a new assignment) but also shut her down.

MRex · 07/02/2020 16:56

What do you think the new manager will do @Jux? They'll email to say "It's ok about the LinkedIn profile, @Cocopines works for me now" and wonder why @Cocopines wasted their time dealing with it instead of sending the email herself. Not a great start.

Those suggesting this person be ignored - it's unprofessional when her confusion could have been cleared up in far fewer words than used in the OP.

dognamedspot · 07/02/2020 17:32

Blimey, you start next week. Would there be any harm in just saying that?

Cocopines · 07/02/2020 17:56

"Thank you for your concern but my employer details are correct and up to date."

Don't let her find out the information she is looking for (by saying you are in another department/starting a new assignment) but also shut her down.

I re-read her email. Tbh, I think it's really bloody rude. There's no opening line, no polite 'How are you' or 'I hope you are well', straight into my Linkedin profile and how it states I'm still working with company. She has signed off with 'Can you amend your profile accordingly'. Not even 'best wishes' or 'kind regards'. Because it's quite unexpected and impolite, I'm guessing anything I reply with will probably result in another email from her, for example asking for proof I'm still working within company or something similar. I didn't get a good feeling from her at the interview or whilst working with her which is partly why I left so quickly. She doesn't work in HR.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 07/02/2020 17:59

Absolutely ignore.

Tatty101 · 07/02/2020 18:01

She's totally in the wrong. The PP saying it's false advertising - as far as I'm aware, your social media isnt usually a basis for any job offer, surely your references would state how long you'd worked and when you'd left?

Apologies, not that relevant to you OP, I think I'd be tempted to just ignore. She clearly has far too much time on her hands!

PersonaNonGarter · 07/02/2020 18:01

Oh fuck no just ignore her how rude to email like that

LaurieFairyCake · 07/02/2020 18:02

Everyone knows that 'Thanks.' Means fuck off so write:

"Thanks. I'm still working for the company"

Do not write anything else. No nice Hi, how are you. No best wishes. Follow her lead.

MovingBriskyOn · 07/02/2020 18:33

@LaurieFairyCake
Shit! I didn't. And there was I thinking people were polite and/or appreciative!
Thanks Grin

Hopoindown31 · 07/02/2020 18:57

Ignore and feign ignorance if it ever comes up again.

MRex · 07/02/2020 19:11

@Cocopines - you started and finished in her team within 3 days. However cordial everybody pretended to be, of course she won't like you! How many words have you managed to write here and how much emotional energy instead of just telling her you're working in another team at the same company?

reginafelangee · 07/02/2020 19:12

Just ignore it.

BaolFan · 07/02/2020 19:39

Because it's quite unexpected and impolite, I'm guessing anything I reply with will probably result in another email from her, for example asking for proof I'm still working within company or something similar.

Ignore the email then and update your LinkedIn with your new role details - making sure that you publish the change to your network Grin

NotAPan · 07/02/2020 19:43

I'd ignore her.

Cocopines · 07/02/2020 20:13

Thanks everyone. I've chosen to ignore the email Wink

OP posts:
Sindragosan · 07/02/2020 20:16

If you left after a few days you didn't 'leave on good terms', you'll have thoroughly pissed off the supervisor, who will have to replace you and be facing questions about why someone would leave after a few days. 'Not a good fit' is generally code for 'I hate the supervisor/whole team' or 'complete mess that I'm not getting involved in'.

A suitably blunt reply copying in hr would be fine.

Cocopines · 08/02/2020 22:10

Went on Linkedin after friend tagged me in something. Saw ex manager has viewed my profile again today! Feels like she is checking up on me now. Utterly ridiculous. She clearly has nothing better to do. AIBU to block her from seeing my profile? Confused

OP posts:
HelenUrth · 08/02/2020 22:24

No dont block her. But tweak something a little so she knows you've updated your profile but not with her suggestion.
In your shoes I would have replied thanking her for her email and recommending she contacts HR with any concerns.

BaolFan · 09/02/2020 10:33

Don't block her as that would be really petty.

Just ignore and if you get any further emails from her then forward them to HR.

FizzyGreenWater · 09/02/2020 10:47

Don't block.

Totally ignore.

The thing that will give the strongest message to a jumped-up arse like this is being given the message you don't matter.

She can view all she likes and email all she likes - it's not even on your radar...

If she persists with contacting you, I agree that you could forward to HR with a bland -'I'm confused, as LinkedIn is my personal social media I find this an inappropriate email' - but arguably they might raise an eyebrow and think it would have been easier for you to just send a one-sentence reply. So not sure.

Ponoka7 · 09/02/2020 10:56

How do you know that it isn't asked of managers to do this?

My DD has to check FB profiles to see if they list their place of work and if there's anything inappropriate on there. I don't know if she has to check LinkedIn, it hasn't come up in conversation.

You didn't get on to the point that you had to leave in three days, she's got nothing to say to you. She won't care what you are doing etc and doesn't want to be false. I'd rather her message than her faux concern.

You should be answer her.

Ponoka7 · 09/02/2020 10:58

"I would have replied thanking her for her email and recommending she contacts HR with any concerns"

If I was your new manager I'd pull you up on why you didn't just communicate properly with a senior staff member.

BrokenWing · 09/02/2020 11:12

You are continuing to work in the same company. Don't burn any bridges you may need in the future with petty behaviour, keep it professional. You never know where you or she might end up.

A simple reply saying thanks for the concern, I've secured another role in the company and wish her well.

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