Made to feel guilty that I kept my child off for a bad cold.

[ADJ1151]

Not just a mild cold. Full blown green snot, really congested, complaining of headache, coughing, gunky eyes. Slight fever when it all started but okay now. Hasn’t slept much either.

DS generally has good attendance and doesn’t have too much time off. But really struggles when he has a cold (thankfully not that often). He has sensory issues and can’t deal with the sensation of a blocked or runny nose, cannot wipe or blow his own nose. He constantly wipes his face when he has a cold and makes it really sore and dry. Last time it was that sore it got so cracked and bled. A few years ago it led to him catching impetigo off another child through the open sore on his face. I need to keep moisturising his skin so it doesn’t get as sore this time. They won’t allow moisturiser to be taken into school.. nor can he put it on himself.

I’m hoping a weekend of recovery will do him good for Monday morning.

Aibu to have kept him off? The school said we discourage children being kept off with colds.

I sent Dd with a mild cold last week but she can clean herself up and doesn’t struggle so much.

Nooo keep him off, dose him up, have a day watching movies, poor thing

I hate that the school makes you feel guilty as if there isn’t enough to feel guilt about as a mum already sigh

I'm sure no-one is trying to make you feel guilty, least of all a school administrator. Have confidence in your own judgement as your son's parent and know you're doing the right thing by him.

YANBU by keeping him off school.

You can't win with schools though, if you keep him off they say you should have sent him in. If you had sent him in, they would probably have said you should have kept him off.
You just have to do what you think is right.

I once had a son who normally was fine about going to school, but who the whole morning was reluctant to get ready, and whinging. It got to the point aht we got out of our house and were on the path to school, and he was in tears.
And I suddenly realised "What was the point of him going into school?" He was in no fit state to learn anything there. So we turned around and went home.

When they are little they can't always express how ill they are.
If I was bursting into tears at the thought of going to work, I would call in sick (to be fair I have a job where I can't do the job if I'm ill/in a bad emotional state). So why should I force a 7 year old into school?

Schools are under pressure, and some people keep their kids off for no reason. But if your son is genuinely unwell - it's much better you keep him off. Especially at the spreading snot everywhere stage - he'd just infect everyone.

Green snot, a fever and a headache with heavy congestion sound more like a sinus infection than a cold. As a teacher, YANBU. I’m off sick atm with a sinus infection as a student kept coughing and sneezing all over me!

My son's school have sent him home with a cold before. It's all very well the school saying children shouldn't be kept off with a cold but faced with it in the flesh they don't actually want sick miserable children in school.

Colds really vary in severity. If you think your child isn't well enough to be in school then I think it's perfectly reasonable to keep him off.

dont over think this OP. He is your child and you made the best choice for him. Schools concern is with their attendance for Ofsted and your concern is for your childs health. The two motivators arent going to match up at certain times.

Your job as a parent is not to act in the nest interest of the school. its to act in the best interest of your child - which you did

Tell them he has a fever or a virus. People get colds in varying severity so people who only get them mildly don't think they are a big deal. And it is a virus so you're not lying

I'm always aghast when I see these threads about having to have 90 - whatever % attendance. Sure, I get there are parents who take the piss, but worrying over whether you'll get into trouble for keeping a sick child at home seems so unfair. And ultimately it's the child who is affected.

We're in the private system and we have no such restrictions at our school (nor either Prep school). I think my dd has had around ten days off this school year. All for legitimate reasons because of illness and it is never questioned. But if I was having my hand forced by attendance figures there are probably a couple of days where she could have gone in, but she wouldn't have had a productive day and it would probably prolong the illness.

It's also totally normal for pupils to have the week before/after off because of holidaying abroad. No one bats an eyelid and nothing is ever said.

Surely there must be a compromise somewhere?? How can all circumstances be deemed as equally applicable across multiple families??

You know your child. Don’t let them make you feel bad.

Unbelievable that a school says to send a child in sick. What happens when they vomit or become unwell at school?
We are told to stay home reduce the spread.
If your child's sick they are sick - unavailable for theres and everyone else's wellbeing.
Try Aloe Vera tissues for sore red noses.

I wouldn't worry about attendance, I suspect rates are about to plummet if this coronavirus starts to spread in the UK, because it should pretty quickly become completely socially unacceptable to be out and about (or send a child into school) with any kind of respiratory virus. A lot of the people who scoff at staying home for anything less than ebola will hopefully start to take a more cautious approach (they should be already).

DS had 4 days off with what first appeared to be a heavy cold before Christmas. Then his symptoms changed and I found myself googling mumps. I couldn't get hold of the GP, now it turns out that there have been cases of it in our LA. If it was (and he has been vaccinated) then according to the NHS site he was past the contagious phase by the time he was in a better state to be functional at school, so it was worth keeping him off at the "bad cold" stage of whatever it was.

There's no benefit to being in school if you are not fit to learn and are going to spread the lurgy.

The attendance data system isn't fit for purpose anyway. DS has had a medical appointment partway through the day. He registered for the am session, signed out after assembly so was technically present for the morning despite missing most of it. The appointment took over an hour, plus travel time, then he'd have cut it fine to eat in school so I fed him to guarentee that he'd eaten and took him back for 1pm for the afternoon session... except he fell over and had a mild meltdown adding a couple of minutes, then no one was in the office to sign him in adding a couple more, an exiting dinner lady let him through, but within those few of minutes of delay he missed the class register so was technically absent for the pm that he was in school It was awkward as school needed a record that he was on-site.

Well the school might be making you feel guilty but you are the hero of all the other parents whose children won't be catching your son's cold. Don't feel bad.

YANBU at all. My DD told me this morning that her friend was forced to go into school the day after vomiting because her Mum wants her to get 100% attendance . Her Mum told her ‘not to run around the playground incase you get sick again’. So unbelievably selfish.