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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have moved tables

6 replies

NoRegrets123 · 07/02/2020 08:30

A few days ago, I was having a stressful day at work. I thought that I really need to recharge so popped out to get lunch from somewhere nearby (rather than the staff canteen) thinking I could have some time by myself, listen to a podcast over lunch and relax.

I went to somewhere a bit like Pret A Manger. There are some long central communal tables with stools around them that can seat up to about 8 people. I paid for my food and sat down at one of the tables. There were a couple of other people sat at the table already keeping themselves to themselves. I was wearing big noise-cancelling headphones and started eating my food.

The woman who was behind me in the queue comes over to the table to eat her lunch and sits near me. She is on her own and starts saying things like "Ooh I bet this is going to be nice", "Mmm this is good", "Ooh I really like this." I can hear her over my headphones a bit and was worried this was an attempt to strike up conversation with me. I sat there for another 30 seconds weighing up my options, and then moved to another table where I could stare out of the window.

I was hoping she would think that I was moving because I had suddenly noticed another table had better views, although to be frank I was moving because she looked like she wanted to chat and I really, really could not deal with any more social interaction that day, especially with strangers. I am very introverted and on the waiting list for an ASD assessment. I make a point of eating with a group of about 5 colleagues at work at least a couple of times a week so I don't seem too anti-social, but had gone out that day because I couldn't even face making chit-chat with colleagues who I know, let alone a stranger.

The chatty woman was in a wheelchair so I slightly worry that she might think I was moving because she was disabled.

But overall I don't regret it. I know I did what I needed to in order to protect my own sanity, but am wondering whether it was socially unreasonable to do this or not. I find social norms very confusing so thought I would put a vote on here to see what others think.

OP posts:
Sparklyring · 07/02/2020 08:32

You're overthinking it, most people would prefer to sit alone. I'd have done the same.

missmouse101 · 07/02/2020 08:34

I don't think you were unreasonable at all. Lunch breaks are short, precious and you don't owe anyone inane conversation. It's ok to do what you needed to!

Bihye · 07/02/2020 08:43

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me!

PurpleDaisies · 07/02/2020 08:46

I don’t think it was that likely she was talking to you. You were wearing headphones.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/02/2020 08:47

I don't think you were unreasonable. You were wearing headphones so it was very clear you didn't want to socialise.

readingismycardio · 07/02/2020 09:41

You're my hero. I sometimes used to get myself in these stupid conversations with strangers. Well not anymore. I'd have done the exact same thing

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