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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is odd - gift giving

40 replies

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/02/2020 07:32

Four friends, one of whom had a big birthday. The remaining three decide to put in together for a gift. The planned gift has three items all costing the same.

To make things easier, we agree to each buy one of the three items and put them together. That way no money needs to change hands. We agree a day to bring the gifts in together (we all work at the same place).

On that day, three of us get together and A says she has already given her part of the gift. So the other two take the remaining parts and the card and A reluctantly comes along with to give the rest of the gift.

This is weird right? If you get together and arrange a joint gift, you give it over to the recipient in one go?

OP posts:
Trahira · 07/02/2020 07:35

Slightly odd but not a big deal. A wanted to give her part of the gift separately, I can't see a massive problem with that.

BelfastNonBlonde · 07/02/2020 07:36

🤷🏻‍♀️
Yes, ordinarily - you would think so..

AlwaysCheddar · 07/02/2020 07:42

Did she actually give her the present?

Original poster
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/02/2020 07:45

Yes - she went in when the birthday friend arrived and said "this is from me, happy birthday"

OP posts:
frazzledasarock · 07/02/2020 07:47

Did she want double the credit? So credit for giving her part of the gift then also credit for giving part of the two other gifts as well?

hula008 · 07/02/2020 07:48

Did she actually give her the original present (ie her part)?

Original poster
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/02/2020 07:52

She gave her part of the gift. No card as that was with the rest of the gift.

OP posts:
GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/02/2020 07:54

Maybe she just understood you were all gifting the three separate parts? No big deal, is it?

DrManhattan · 07/02/2020 07:57

She didnt buy owt!

Original poster
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/02/2020 08:06

The gift was definitely there when we took the rest

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 07/02/2020 08:10

She probably just got a bit over-exited and couldn’t wait. I really don’t think this is worth worrying about.

Fr0g · 07/02/2020 08:13

depends on how integral to a joint gift, or worked as stand alone gift as well?
AKA - I'm curious what the three part gift is now.

We NEED that context to understand Grin

Beautiful3 · 07/02/2020 08:14

Yes a bit werid but next time just gift yours individually.

MimiLaRue · 07/02/2020 08:15

I dont find that weird.
You may be overthinking this. Maybe she wanted to spend time alone with the friend- have a chat about personal stuff. I certainly wouldnt call it "odd".

redcarbluecar · 07/02/2020 08:17

Yes I think that's a bit weird. I don't quite get what A did 'reluctantly' on the day.

Damntheman · 07/02/2020 08:19

Bit weird yes, but no harm done I would assume?

RedRec · 07/02/2020 08:20

Sounds like she didn't want to get involved in the three part gift thing but felt obliged to go along with it.

Insaneinthemembury · 07/02/2020 08:23

Not that weird, if you walk into someone's house with a gift wrapped up in your hands the intended recipient may take it and say thanks?

Looloobettyboo · 07/02/2020 08:30

What were the gifts?

Inherdefence · 07/02/2020 08:38

She bought her a gift as agreed and gave it to her when she saw her. It might not be the way you planned things but it doesn’t seem unreasonable in any way.

JRUIN · 07/02/2020 08:40

Were the 3 gifts part of a set or something? Did her part of it give away what you and the other friend had bought for her. If so she was BU, if not I really don't see the problem.

AmelieTaylor · 07/02/2020 08:40

Yes, that’s weird, but then so is buying three equally priced items & putting them together as one gift, unless it was a ‘set’ of items, then it still doesn’t seem the most long iCal way of having gone about it

AmelieTaylor · 07/02/2020 08:41

iCal iPhone for logical

Apolloanddaphne · 07/02/2020 08:42

It really depends if the three gifts were related in some way and wouldn't make sense singly or if they were three stand alone gifts? If the former it maybe would have been odd but if the latter it was fine. Essentially you all bought her a gift each so it wasn't really joint in the sense of one item you all chipped in for.

NoSauce · 07/02/2020 08:43

I don’t think it’s weird. You all bought one item separately. Why the need to give them all together?