Why do I feel like this?

[Dancer12345]

Whenever I’m looking forward to something and get let down / something gets cancelled, it hits me hard. For example, a friend and I were hoping to have a spa day in a few weeks and were looking at a certain date - she’s now text me saying she can’t do then but possibly a month or so later.
It hit me hard, I actually feel so disappointed. Rationally I know it’s no big deal, so why do I almost feel physical pain inside?
This is just one example but it’s happened many times. It’s not that I feel she doesn’t like me / want to be with me / got a better offer. I actually don’t know what I feel, other than this hurt.

Does anyone else get this, or can make sense of it?

Anyone?

Had you actually booked and confirmed that date? If not then I think YABU sorry.

That's not to say it's not disappointing of course but I think you need to manage your expectations better.

Do you have a history of having few friends, or being bullied, or being an 'outcast'?

Do you struggle with the idea of not being enough?

Sounds like you’re craving some space and “me time” OP. What is the rest of your life like?

OP, do you have a traumatic memory of being let down in the past?

You might have a deep set fear of rejection - can stem from lots of things mainly in childhood such as adoption, one parent leaving etc. Might explain why the smallest things make you feel crap. I’m the same.

No, it wasn’t booked and confirmed. I totally agree that I’m unreasonable to feel that way - I’m not annoyed either my friend or anything, it’s just how I feel inside, and I would never voice that disappointment.

Have always had good friends, although I do struggle with my self-esteem. No adoption, or separated parents or similar. I don’t have any traumatic memories of being let down that I can recall.

I also seem to REALLY look forward to things, more than I suspect other people so although I’ve never discussed this with anyone so I don’t actually know. Maybe this is why being let down hits me harder.