Manspreading

[UnaCorda]

AIBU to want to take every inconsiderate manspreader I encounter on public transport and stick their knees in a vice?

I usually just rub their leg and they move away fast. Actually some even get off the bus.

What I'd like to say is 'oi, billy big bollocks close your legs!' What I actually do is apply pressure with my knee and chunter inwardly!

I just sit down and if their legs are in the way then I hit them. It's worked every time so far. Last time I did it was at a gig in Leeds and the young man I did it to was so traumatised he clamped his knees together sooo tightly it was hilarious. I also play patriarchy chicken though when out walking and when swimming so I am a bit confrontational in that regard.

I just say "can you shut your legs please?" They always do. They look momentarily pissed off but then quickly realise they have absolutely no right to be. I used to say nothing and just be uncomfortable but I just won't put up with it anymore.

I went to a conference the other week, the venue was packed, hundreds of those awful tiny, uncomfortable chairs in rows, no gap between them. Bloke sits next to me and immediately spreads his legs wide so I had three choices a.) Shuffle over and encroach on the space of the poor sod on my other side, b.) squat, or kneel on my tiny chair for the next few hours to accommodate his manspreading or c.) tell him to fucking pack it in.
So I went for option c (to be fair I said "could you shut your legs please, there's not much room" instead of fucking pack it in but I think it was implied) and somehow he and his gargantuan balls managed to survive the conference without sitting legs akimbo.