Chastised for bumping into ex

[paap1975]

So yesterday I was having a nice lunch with a friend when he suddendly blurts out, so what's this about Ex seeing you? So I say yes indeed, I bumped into Ex whilst doing some shopping. Apparently Ex was so shocked they froze in panic. They subsequently complained to this mutual friend about me being there.
For context, Ex works in this particular shop but not on the shop floor, I came across them accidentally, said hi, got no response and continued with my shopping, never approaching again. Mutual friend has now asked I never go to said shop again, which would be OK except that we live in a small expat city and it is the only such shop. Anyhow, I have agreed to stay away despite the incovenience it will cause me.
Now I'm at home feeling pretty offended to be honest. We broke up 6 years ago and it was obvious to everyone we were going to break up for at least 2 years before that. I have already given up our mutual hobby (and most of my friends from there) as a result of the split. AIBU to expect Ex to get on with thing after such a long period?

Shouldn't your question be, I have agreed to stay away despite the incovenience it will cause me. AIBU?

In which case the answer would be yes - very

just crack on.

it's his issue to deal with, not yours.

Thanks Worra. You're probably right. I was so shocked when friend raised the matter that I didn't really know what to say, but now I feel like some naughty child that got a ticking off

Oh get a grip. This is a non issue. Tell your ‘friend’ (this person isn’t a friend btw) to F off.

Six years?? You’ve done well not to bump into them in all that time. And so shocked they froze? They need to grow up.

Was your ex very controlling during the relationship? They have absolutely no right to restrict your movements in this way.

Personally I'd tell your friend that your ex should get a job working from home so you're not inconvenienced and shocked and frozen in panic every time you appear in a perfectly normal location. Will he ban you from the library? The bus? The park? It's been six years. Time for therapy for him if it's still an issue.

You broke up six years ago?!?

Unless you dumped him in a really awful way, ran off with his best friend and his dog and left him with thousands of pounds of debt, then these people are being absolutely ridiculous.

You gave up mutual hobby and now you can't go in what shops you like. Why is this person your friend?
Text them and say you've thought about it and you'll shop where you like.

And then get some friends who are real friends and not bullying arseholes.

Ex wasn't controlling no, but a bit of a martyr.
Break up wasn't accrimonious, but it was my decision, so I gave Ex space.
Am very upset that friend brought the matter up and have told him that I am offended.
I feel that Ex is being over dramatic, verging on unhinged.
Thank you for all your responses which are making me feel better

What was so bad about the breakup that it caused the ex to be shocked and freeze in panic? Why would seeing you cause panic?

Six years have passed. Your ex needs to get on with their life and you should definitely not avoid the only shop in the village because they work there.

Thanks again for your wise words. I've probably been going out of my way to avoid causing upset. Like I said, Ex is a bit of a martyr, overly dramatic. When friend spoke of freezing in panic I was gobsmacked. I think I'll just send friend a message saying I have reconsidered what I said, that the situation is batshit crazy and that I'll be going where I want!

Alternatively, you could demand your ex quits his job as his presence in that shop makes you uncomfortable and you should be able to visit without having to see him.

The only way that your ex and friend would be reasonable in this situation is if you abused your ex.

I rather like that suggestion ItsAllThe Drama

Ex needs to get a grip. He froze in shock, what did he think you would do? Attack him? What an idiot.
Tell your friend to stop being rediculous.

There was absolutely no abuse involved, ever!

It's none of your friend's business. And I don't really understand why he would think it is.
I am glad you have reconsidered, and will be going back to the shop as and when you want to.

Totally absurd. Pay no attention to this over-dramatic bollocks from the Ex, and tell the friend to mind their own damn business!

😂😂 I see what you mean about him being dramatic

Go to the shop, take up the hobby again and get back in contact with all of your friends. You didn’t commit murder! I’m shocked you would agree to all of that! He’s not the King!

Dump the "friend" for being so controlling, interfering and making such ridiculous demands of you.
Carry on shopping at the shop whenever you want to, I'd be going everyday for a month ignore the Ex if you see him.

Keep reminding yourself that he is your Ex and has been for SIX years, and that it doesn't matter if you do upset him, because he is your Ex!

Jesus christ 6 YEARS AGO!?

Both your friend and your ex need to get over it

Go back to the shop, take up your hobby again and move on

YABU in agreeing not to go into the shop!

YANBU for thinking your ex has made a totally
unreasonable request. And I would seriously consider your relationship with your friend who is doing his bidding.

I have not been sitting at home miserable. I have moved on, found another hobby and a husband in the process.
I have also recently been rekindling my former hobby.
Time to put this all to bed for good!

Herpesfreesince03 is right - tell your 'friend' to mind her own business and fuck off. Your ex is being pathetic and I would be going to that store and his department every day until he behaves like an adult.