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AIBU?

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Original poster

Builders requesting drinks

733 replies

crazydiamond222 · 06/02/2020 14:54

We are having an extension built whilst I am on maternity leave. I have a 3 month old. We have 2 builders on site laying foundations who started on monday. I have been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it is a 4 month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day for this period.

This afternoon whilst I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a) he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and b) he shouldn't been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway leaving my son on the playmat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside I tripped over rubble breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builders reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them but they said they can just bring their own drinks. I am now feeling pretty upset with them.

Just needed to vent really but what do people feel is reasonable regarding builders and drinks.

OP posts:
takeyourrubbishhome · 06/02/2020 15:50

I really feel for you because it's not easy having builders in your space when you have a young baby, but you do need to keep your builders on side, and looked after. I've been there, we had builders in for almost a year, starting when DC1 was 6 months old.

We currently have a lot of tradesmen in and out of the house because we are renovating (currently 5 months in). I make the first cup of the day 95% of the time (only don't if I'm in a rush/having a bad morning). Then we have a tea/coffee station set up near the kettle (which is currently moving around the house) and it's a help yourself situation. I'm often at work, but even if I'm at home I'm not the best at remembering. If I make myself a cup of tea then I will offer (or just make tea and take it up/out), and the plus side is that if you have nice builders they will probably make you a tea when they're making one, or at least tell you the kettle is warm. If we have people who are working outside (scaffolders, roofers, landscapers, tree surgeons) then I will actually make tea for them quite frequently. It's cold outside and they're working hard (I think this is why outside builders tend to have very sugary tea and a fondness for chocolate biscuits).

If you're having people in for big works then it's the little things that matter. They're in your space, but you're also in their work space if you're on mat leave. We really like our builders (this is the second big project with many trades who extended our last house 5 years ago) and it's nice to have a bit of a chat with them, at appropriate times of the day, just like you would colleagues.

WarmSausageTea · 06/02/2020 15:50

I have offered a tea station in the garage which they refused.

Top quality drip-feed there.

lowlandLucky · 06/02/2020 15:50

What a miserable mare

oohnicevase · 06/02/2020 15:50

Get a cheap kettle / tea/ coffee on a tray and put it in the place they are working / can access .. leave a flask with milk and a pot of sugar and some biscuits .
Leave them to help themselves .. I had builders in all last summer and I did this for them, we were working / in and out and I didn't want them to not have drinks . It doesn't cost much / take much to do that then you won't have to worry !

CuriousaboutSamphire · 06/02/2020 15:51

I buy my own refreshments when I work I can’t see why they can’t do the same. After all they are getting paid. Well, when I work I have access to a kettle, fridge, a loo etc.

Workmen do too, they are mine, in my house! So I offer them!

takeyourrubbishhome · 06/02/2020 15:52

As an aside, if your baby is a chest napper (and that is so lovely) have you thought about a sling? He might enjoy being strapped to you when you do have things to do. I really wish I'd tried something like a caboo with my first because he also wouldn't be put down (at 5.5 he would still have me carry him round all day if that was an option). It might make you feel like you have a bit more time.

WorraLiberty · 06/02/2020 15:52

I don't understand why they have refused a tea station. You could give them a choice - tea station or go without maybe.

I think by that point they probably sensed an attitude from the OP.

Justaboy · 06/02/2020 15:53

Be glad that they have yturned up anyway! Been awaiting ages here to get a couple of simple jobs done! A few cups of tea in order to move the job along is of no matter;!

FamilyOfAliens · 06/02/2020 15:53

I’ve just had a boiler engineer round for half an hour and he got a cup of coffee!

TheReef · 06/02/2020 15:53

I'll always keep tradesmen sweet, I'll make them a new when I have them and leave them tea, coffe, kettle etc within reach for them and usually supply them with biscuits etc.

Makes for much easier conversations when you have an 'ohhh could you just' request

bigbluebus · 06/02/2020 15:54

And i always let them use the loo! With the 4mth job they had portaloo. With a 1 month job the builder asked if he should hire a loo to put on the drive. Told him not to bother - they had a back door key and there is a toilet by the back door which they could easily use without tramping through the house - and I can honestly say that with all the different trades I've had working on my house, none of them have ever left the toilet in anything but a clean condition - unlike all the ones that Mumsnetters seem to employ!

Qwerty543 · 06/02/2020 15:55

YABU. Your baby will survive and you sound a bit precious, other mums manage to have a young baby and not give 100% undivided attention all day every day.

Builders drink a lot of tea and like snacks. I had builders in and the little extra things I asked if they wouldn't mind doing, they were more than happy to because I supplied drinks and snacks. They mainly made their own (and made them for me if I was home) but I offered if I was at home.

Movinghouseatlast · 06/02/2020 15:56

It annoys me too. Noone makes me a coffee at work, I take a flask!!!

But I do think it has to be done. And I prefer it to them coming in the kitchen all dirty.

It also annoys me when they all have a poo one after the other. But again, I'm in the wrong as what else can they do?

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 06/02/2020 15:57

They have a portaloo and are purely working outside

So will need lots of hot drinks to keep them warm. Presumably they refused the drink station because you made it sound like making them a brew was too much hard work so they didn’t want to put you out further.
I was taught it was best to keep the workers topped up with tea & biscuits, lunch, cakes or whatever. After all you want the best out of them & they will be more likely to do extras or go the extra mile with no bother if you keep them happy.

I think you have shot youself in the foot there.

wellididntseethatcoming · 06/02/2020 15:57

I'm quite shocked you thought it was cheeky. I'd make them drinks when asked if I was home, if I wasn't I'd leave them access to the kitchen to make themselves a drink when they wanted and leave some biscuits out for them.

I think calling him cheeky and using a 3 month old as an excuse is a bit mean imo.
I've got 4 kids. 2 of them had awful colic and reflux as a baby. But there are places you can put them down for the 2 minutes it takes to make a tea. Just like when you go to the loo. Like a cot or a Moses basket.

I think you're being a bit tight. They are people working on your home. At least give them access and make them feel welcome if you're not willing to do it yourself.

Poppyfieldsummerdays · 06/02/2020 15:58

You do know is much about life. When the builders are in they come first.

ColaFreezePop · 06/02/2020 15:58

@Straycatblue not all tradespeople are men some are women.

At all the various offices I've worked at and visited at I get offered tea and coffee (or told where to get one from), plus use of their toilet.

I've never made food for tradespeople but have offered them tea and coffee. The younger ones don't tend to drink tea or coffee but come readily supplied with their random soft drinks.

madcatladyforever · 06/02/2020 15:58

I'm not a skivvy and I'm paying them good money to work.
They can either bring their own drinks or I'll leave them out a kettle, milk and tea/coffee and some biscuits if they are lucky.
I don't do running around after men any more.

PickleMyPepper · 06/02/2020 15:59

Would you rather they kept leaving during the day to get drinks, delaying the work you're having done?

I cannot imagine having workmen in and not offering them drinks and snacks.
It's a hard job, especially with them working outside in this weather.

YABVU. And a bit precious, PFB by any chance?

NewPapaGuinea · 06/02/2020 16:00

They should have their own kettle, tea bags, coffee whatever or bring a thermos.

CatkinToadflax · 06/02/2020 16:01

I don’t understand the difference between being willing to make the builders drinks if it’s a short job but not if it’s a job taking months. It’s common decency to keep them refreshed, regardless of the length of the job!

We had builders in for 4 months last year. I kept all of the tea, coffee, sugar, mugs etc on a tray in the kitchen and gave them a tub of decent biscuits too. They came down sporadically to make their own tea (they were up in the roof) but whenever I made one for myself I’d shout up and offer, to save them having to come down. We also got lactose free milk in for the one who drank black tea every day for two months before I commented on it for some reason and he said he was lactose intolerant. They built us an amazing roof conversion and I know they were happy working in our house. Crucially, we’ll need more work doing in the future and we’d love to have the same builders back.

MissConductUS · 06/02/2020 16:01

I offer cold bottled water, especially if the weather is hot. If they want coffee or tea they can drive to the deli nearby and pick it up on their breaks.

Sparkle567 · 06/02/2020 16:01

Would you rather they kept leaving during the day to get drinks, delaying the work you're having done?

Are they unable to bring enough drinks to last a day Hmm

Sonichu · 06/02/2020 16:02

They'll be asking to use your toilet next.

grandmasterstitch · 06/02/2020 16:02

When my parents over the road had the plasterer/carpet fitter in and I was in my house with my one year old I still took him a drink twice a day. I really think yabu, it's not hard to make some tea

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