To not be coping?

[greysunrise]

If you are a stay at home mum with three or more dc what does your day look like?

I'm asking because I have four children ranging from 17 to 1 who live with me and DH full time and a step child who comes at weekends. I am a sham and really struggle to keep on top of things, it's actually got to the point where I've only left the house a handful of times since Christmas (bar school runs) out of fear of getting behind with washing/cleaning/cooking/ admin etc. With so many people in the house if I miss a day of housework/washing it quickly builds up and I pay for it for the rest of the week!

I'm feeling incredibly stressed and as though I am just the facilitator of my DC and DH's lives, not a person in their own right, I feel like an unpaid servant.

How does everyone else cope?!

I have really low standards tbh.

I have shouted “I am not the help” many times at mine. It is exhausting and overwhelming and you never have a day off. “My time” is I get up and do my make up before dh leaves for work. I’m still first up sorting the baby and doing breakfast and packed lunches but sh gets up half hour before he needs to to supervise them all and I get dressed- it makes me feel human.
Apart from that not much is “mine” it is lovely to be there for my children and I laugh everyday with them. But it is the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I often have to tell myself “this won’t be forever and I will get myself back” when they are screaming for more juice or I cut a pear the wrong way. I understand how you feel

I am a SAHM and my kids are at school. I can now carve a bit of time for myself during the day to go for a jog or walk or swim and I go out with friends once a week too. It does get so much easier once they are at school. But in the meantime if you can I really do recommend you find a hobby which gets you out the house away from the kids once a week so you are not just doing the drudgery with no respite.

I also had 4 children. Lower your standards and make the rest of the family muck in.

It sounds very stressful OP and I agree it would be great if you could make some time for yourself each day.
Do your older DC's help with chores? This would hopefully lessen the burden on you a bit and also help with their independence.
Could DH help more maybe one evening a week so you could go somewhere (hobby / activity / meet a friend) and have some regular time out just for yourself?