To feel I may as well be invisible as clearly am of no concern to anyone

[pissedoffFedupfeelunwanted]

I thought I had friends. Some maybe just people I knew. Anyway people that I talked to, asked how they were etc etc
Always me doing the texting, approaching to say hello and chat etc

Anyway, due to difficult circumstances for about 6 months now I haven’t been to any of the things I used to attend/see people at
Haven’t been active in any WhatsApp groups or really been anywhere I used to go not posted anything on fb either (been depressed)

Not.one.call
Not.one.text

Nothing. I may as well have dropped off the face of the earth and nobody has what even realised. I feel like shit. I know everyone’s busy but if someone you saw and spoke to every day just ‘disappeared’ what would you do?
Many times I’ve thought I’ll text someone but then I realised it was always me initiating any conversations etc so they must just not want to.
I’m feeling really really rubbish

awww I'm sorry OP. I think a lot of people feel like this though sometimes. People do get wrapped up in their own stuff. Do you have family at least that you can speak to?

I'm sorry, you must be feeling sad at this realisation. What happened at the time you stepped away, did you ask to be left alone or for support? I guess it's only you who knows if it's worth dropping the friendships. Fwiw, they're not necessarily bad friends, but may have thought it's what you had wanted.

It could look very different from their side of things.

A friend of mine could have written your post. What she won't say is that the 6 months is just one of many times where she drops off the face of the earth, deletes social media, rarely replies to messages, and when she does, it's one word answers. Then eventually when the issue of the day is solved, she bounces back and expects things to be as normal, gets pissy because she isn't invited to things she hasn't attended for months, that sort of thing

I've had enough, as have most of her circle. We all have different circumstances in our lives, but not everyone's reaction is to disappear. Friendship is a two way street.

I was just unwell one day and as far as everyone knows disappeared as I was so bad I just stopped everything

This hasn’t happened to me before though I’m not a serial disappeared I’d been a constant seeing these people at the same places often daily for 5+ years

No I had a breakdown I didn’t have any opportunity to tel anyone anything

There have been several threads about this before. It is eye opening to realise how many people go through the same thing.

In life you get the doers (you in normal circumstances) and the receivers (or selfish takers as I sometimes think of them). I am a doer, I keep in contact but I know that if I didn't my small circle of receivers would not instigate contact, forget birthdays. Even when you do meet you get a minute of your news and then an hour of theirs.

There aren't many advantages to getting older but a biggie for me is that I like my own company more than I like anybody else's (apart from DH). So slowly my circle is being let go and I don't feel anything but a bit of relief. Life is simple these days and I prefer it.

A lot of people are so wrapped up in themselves not only are they boring they are selfish too. You hear a lot about finding your tribe. I have never found my tribe, nor have you. Most people haven't so you have to keep looking or be self reliant.

You are not boring. You just have a set of selfish acquaintances, some of whom may be dealing with their own issues, and they are probably not going to change.

Perhaps contact them but lower your expectations.

I just feel like I was always texting and arranging to meet up and chatting and it was unwanted ? as when it’s the other way round there’s nothing it’s like nobody has even noticed perhaps

You are not boring. You just have a set of selfish acquaintances, some of whom may be dealing with their own issues, and they are probably not going to change

That's not really fair though. I have lots of acquaintances and they are just that, acquaintances. There's a big difference between friends and acquaintances in terms of people I see on a weekly basis.

I don’t think that people aren’t interested or don’t care; I just think people get into roles and routines. It appears that you role is to initiate contact and make arrangements.

I do feel for you as I have a friend I have known for 10 years and she has never texted me first or suggested a meet up. Yet when I do these things she always replies and seems pleased to see me.
Looking on the bright side it means if I am busy I don’t feel guilty about not seeing her and I can suggest outings/times/days that suit me.

It's hard when this happens, I get where your coming from. I think as we get older, settle down, have kids etc our priorities change and some people seem to struggle to fit friends around all of their other commitments. I'm learning to become less emotionally invested in friendships and not to expect too much that way I don't get as hurt when a friend doesn't appear to make any effort. It can still hurt a bit when someone you were close to doesn't seem bothered but you have to remind yourself that everyone has their own shit going on and most people focus solely on their own lives and sometimes fail to notice when friends are going through a hard time.
I have been focusing on doing hobbies/ classes just for me and gradually through those I'm meeting new, interesting prospective friends and really enjoying myself too. Try to focus on you and not overthink why they haven't contacted you, you will never really know, and whatever your head is saying will be far worse than the reality.

Are they close friends or just casual acquaintances? If they don't know you're depressed or know you intimately they may just have assumed you've just moved on and aren't interested in them. I have a couple of whatsapp groups and people sometimes drop off or don't speak for months (people I really like) but I just assume they're busy with life. One group is a bunch of uni mates we've been friends for 18 years, I don't blink an eye if I don't hear one of them pipe up for months. Another friend from another group of work friends (past and present) has kind of dropped off most media and I know he suffers from depression I try to message him every now and again to see how he's doing but he gives me one word answers and I don't know whether he actually wants to deal with people right now. (I'm a long time sufferer of depression and anxiety, luckily I have reprieves, so understand the struggle and it can skew your perspective too) people just don't know how you are feeling unless you tell them.