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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Inappropriate behaviour? Wwyd?

10 replies

Witsendagain · 05/02/2020 14:02

Where I live there is supported housing for psychological SN residents (not sure if that's pc, sorry if not).
It is literally the next building to us and wasn't disclosed when we moved here.
For the most part we get on with the residents, always greet them when we see them and it has never been an issue for us.
But there is one resident who we see regularly who urinates in the street. Regularly. As in every single time we see him. He doesn't try to tuck himself away and will quite often get his penis out right in front of me ( female 30ish) and my 2 year old child. I find this really inappropriate but kind of ignored for the most part until it started increasing in regularity.
This same resident has on occasion passed me in the street and started shouting quite aggressively at me. This happened yesterday where he stopped right in front of where I was strapping D's into his pram and fixing the rain cover. Had a wee. Then further down the street started shouting at me. It was dark and I was unnerved.
It worries me that this guy could easily work out where I live etc.
Should I go into the assisted housing and discuss my concerns with a manager? or should I just ignore it because it's probably part of his SN? (we are stuck with staying where we are until August).
I know there were a lot of issues from neighbours when the assisted housing first opened and don't want it to seem like more of the same. But I also don't feel very safe. Wwyd

OP posts:
BigusBumus · 05/02/2020 14:08

I think you should definitely tell the manager of the place that the resident needs to be told it isn't socially acceptable to urinate in public, or shout at strangers in the street. The manager will know how to talk to the resident appropriately. If you don't tell them, it will keep happening.

Hoik · 05/02/2020 14:12

I think you really need to go in and speak to them. Obviously this behaviour is making you uncomfortable and you know it's not malicious on his part but to look at it from the other side, he is a vulnerable person who quite clearly needs a higher level of support and supervision than what he is currently getting and the facility is letting him down by not providing this. What happens when he does this in front of someone bigger/stronger who reacts aggressively and gives him a good kicking?

The current situation is unpleasant for you and unsafe for him.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/02/2020 14:14

Of course you need to speak to the managers. He's making you feel intimidated and probably other people too. Pissing in the street like that is vile.

billy1966 · 05/02/2020 14:16

I would think this is also a police matter, exposing himself.

CoffeeCoinneseur · 05/02/2020 14:17

He doesn't try to tuck himself away and will quite often get his penis out right in front of me ( female 30ish) and my 2 year old child

I'd be going to the police.

TriangleBingoBongo · 05/02/2020 14:19

he is a vulnerable person who quite clearly needs a higher level of support and supervision than what he is currently getting and the facility is letting him down by not providing this.

This exactly. But your DD is also a vulnerable child and should not be witness to a grown man exposing himself in the street.

I would go to the police to ensure this is treated with the severity it deserves.

misskick · 05/02/2020 14:19

100% have a word with the manager they can talk to him and tell him the implications I.e. police involvement if he is urinating in public exposing himself, maybe they can put support into place when he is accessing the community even if needed.

FadedRed · 05/02/2020 14:20

Start with reporting to the facility manager, who may be unaware that this is happening.
If it continues, then you need to report to the police. I would start with your local community policing people, if you have them, if not then 101.

FizzyIce · 05/02/2020 14:22

Definitely report either to the manager of the housing or police .
This is unacceptable and if it is part of him mental illness then they should monitor him more closely as he could get into some serious shit if he happens to piss in front of the wrong person not to mention no one should have to see that anyway .

Witsendagain · 05/02/2020 14:33

Thank you everyone, you have confirmed my instinct! I'll pop in and have a chat tomorrow and see what's said.
I'm also going to research who else to contact should the issue not be resolved as we are not in the UK so I'm unsure of the local channels!

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