Feeling really weird about this

[NameChange2306]

Name changed for obvious reasons.

Back story: I have a 1 year old and a fiancé who I live with.

I have recently met a woman who is gay and also in a relationship.
My issue is that I’ve started having feelings for her, it’s weird to actually write it out and admit to it, as it were.
I’ve always been straight and been in relationships with men. Never even had why sexual encounters with a woman. Although I will admit I watch lesbian porn sometimes.

I’m feeling so confused, the feelings are like those I have for a man when I realise I like them for the first time. But I don’t find her sexually or physically attractive really.
I keep looking through her Facebook photos...she’s very charismatic, charming, strong and independent. She’s also very caring and loving towards people.

Has anyone else been in this position? Nothing will happen of course, as we’re both in relationships...but what does this mean?

If you don't find her physically or sexually attractive then you don't really "fancy" her as such. I'm guessing you like her but because you know she's gay that's made her in to some other sort of fantasy, then just thinking she's an interesting person. I'd almost guarantee that if she wasn't gay you wouldn't be thinking of her like that

What sort of feelings are they if they aren’t about sex out physical attraction? Yes

Maybe you are just bisexual OP? no big deal. If you are getting off to lesbian porn then obviously there is an extent to which it is sexually appealing to you. Ditto looking at her pictures, you obviously are attracted to her in some capacity even if its not all or at all about her looks.

I'd try to think about it with a clear mind, take guilt out of the equation for a minute, realise that you may well fancy her a bit and move on. Crushes on other people are normal and sexuality can be fluid.

Are you unhappy with your DP? Are you instantly attracted to men when you 'fancy them' or do you get this feeling and the sexual attraction comes later?

To answer your question, yes i have been in this situation, it's how i realise that i was bisexual, and felt a bit silly for the 15 years prior of my 'girl crushes' and lesbian porn watching,when obviously i just am into women as well. It isn't something i have explored because im very happy in my relationship but if i ever found myself single then i probably would, otherwise its just a sort of fantasy. I definitely also like men and wouldn't trade my DP for anybody! It's just one of those things, he knows and doesn't have any opinion on it.

It sounds like a good old fashioned girl crush. Do you want BE her, or ‘be with’ her? Most times I get this I realise it’s just admiration and a hot if idolisation going on. It wears off when I realise she’s not perfect.
Sound like this might be it?