To step back from paranoid friend?

[Brightpot]

Name changed for this and bit of a weird one. I met a mum friend at school and known her for about 6 months now. At the beginning it seemed we had loads in common. Our DC are the same age and get on really well. We've had a lot of play dates at each others houses which have been really nice for DC. However, the more time I spend with her the more unreasonable/paranoid I think she is. She has told me a few thoughts/opinions recently where I just think wtf? These include things like not letting her children go to local parks in case they pick up germs, not letting her DH give the kids a bath because he cant be trusted, maniacally cleaning/decluttering her house every day, not putting photos of her DC on facebook because they could end up on the black market with paedophiles and paranoid thoughts about people not liking her or people doing things that seem innocent to me but to her is passive aggressive behaviour. There was a social event recently where another mum sat in front of her. Friend said this was a sign of other mum asserting her authority and looking down at her and she would never go to this social event or speak to this mum ever again! Friend seemed very laid back when we met but I find it quite tense being around her now. She said she has had mental health problems in the past but hasn't gone into detail. What could this paranoia stem from? Part of me wants to continue meeting up but the other half wants to run away. AIBU to step back and how do I do that given she is so easily offended? Or continue meeting up for sake of DC?

Let's just hope her poor husband doesn't hear what she said about him, that's awful, especially as she said it to someone else. I think I'd be keeping right away from her.

I'd consider continuing if your DC really get on well together and it might be kind to try and continue to make the effort. I wouldn't spend time trying to think where the paranoia comes from as there won't be an answer and it probably won't help to know anyway. You could try and offer a mild voice or reason at the risk of becoming seen as the enemy but try not to get too engaged and be ready to step back if you feel you are being tied up in their worldview.

Whenever she starts I would just tell her she’s being paranoid. See what she does, she might not be aware if she has MH that her thinking is unhinged. If she continues I would step back though.

@cakeandcustard28 I did say to her maybe she was overreacting with other mum but it made her focus on it more, saying she knew lots of passive aggressive types and that was classic behaviour etc

I've met a few mums like this in my time (my dcs are teens now). They are mentally exhausting.

I wouldn't stop seeing her but yeah, maybe just drop in the occasional "I think you're being paranoid" or "what the hell are you in about?" To any of her more crazy statements.

I had one friend who used to almost relish any local hint of a dodgy car or 'strange man hanging around' (when really it was a normal man walking a dog past the school or something). She would talk to anyone about it with glee and issue 'warnings' and constantly post about strange men around on fb.
Luckily she wasn't in my immediate friendship circle but I did used to give her a wide birth.

Now her children are teens they are very anxious and she herself is even more anxious because Secondary School is much more hands off.

Tiring.

I have someone in my life who is similar so I understand what it’s like to have someone like this in your life, and how exhausting this can be.

What I think it boils down to is do you like her enough as a person, and are you able to be supportive with her issues??