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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you get out of bed in the morning?

34 replies

AIBU25 · 05/02/2020 09:14

Every morning I wake up and just think "here we go again" I never want to get up. I get up at the last possible minute and then berate myself for not having enough time to do the things that I need to do before I go to work. Every day I think about calling in sick to work, I feel like I just can't face it. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do? Has anyone got any tips for improving getting out of bed and just feeling better about the day?

OP posts:
TeddyIsaHe · 05/02/2020 09:21

When I felt like that it was because I had quite severe depression. Now it’s treated I enjoy every day.

Could it be something like that?

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 05/02/2020 09:24

No, it isn't normal. You need to work out the reason why first.

Is it that you are actually still tired? If so you could try going to bed earlier. If that doesn't work you could see your GP in case there is a reason for it.

Do you hate your job? If so, make a plan to find another and then make efforts to find a new job.

No time to fit your morning routine in? Could you change it so that you do as much preparation as possible the night before leaving an absolute minimum to do each morning?

Maybe Google symptoms depression to see how many you have and speak to a GP if you think you may be suffering from it.

MyuMe · 05/02/2020 09:25

Sounds like depression Flowers

Maybe try and spoil yourself a bit more. arrange things to look forward to.

Thebookswereherfriends · 05/02/2020 09:28

Have you tried having one of those daylight alarms that gently wakes you with a special light?
Some people are not morning people. I have always been able to just wake up, get up. My partner gets up as late as possible, sometimes with 15 mins before he has to leave.

inwood · 05/02/2020 09:28

Sounds like depression to me. How do you feel once you do get up?

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 05/02/2020 09:29

I was like that when I hated my job. I used to leave the town it was based in at weekends, and used to dread going back on sunday evenings. I used to think about having a minor car crash, breaking a leg or an arm and how wonderful sick leave would be. In hindsight I was depressed.

I moved jobs. It was entirely the job I was in. Im so much happier now.

norealshepherds · 05/02/2020 09:29

I’ve felt like that before, but only when I have been depressed. I’d try and get some helpFlowers

Herocomplex · 05/02/2020 09:30

When I felt like that I knew it was time to change something. What are you stuck on? I used to start looking for a new job, but I know that’s not always practical.

I agree with thinking about depression. Early night, getting things prepared, better routine, more things to look forward to.

We’ve got a daylight light, my DH says it’s helping him. Taking Vit D as well.

Hope you find your joy.

EmmaStone · 05/02/2020 09:30

What I dislike about mornings is being woken by an alarm, not naturally (I now have one of those sunrise clocks, and the alarm is gentle waves, definitely better). Also I struggle particularly in winter when it's dark when waking. However, I don't worry about work, I do really like my job (and realistically, if I wanted to work from home for a day, that would be fine. However, I have to take my kids to school, so I have to get up!).

How are you on the weekends? Is it just work you dread? If so, I'd start looking around for something else perhaps? Could you do something before work that you look forward to (an exercise class, or a walk, or a nice coffee or something?)?

Didthatreallyhappen2 · 05/02/2020 09:31

I get up because I have to - dog needs letting out and feeding, DC need getting up for school, beds need making, breakfasts need doing etc etc. Because I have others relying on me doing these things I never really think about it (and we do have a reasonably early start - 6am weekday mornings).

Is there any chance of you changing your job - that might be a good way to start?

waterlego · 05/02/2020 09:34

Yes, I feel like this most mornings. I have depression for which I take medication. If it wasn’t for the meds I’m not sure I’d bother to get up at all 😬

Do you think you could be depressed?

Sweetbabycheezits · 05/02/2020 09:36

Agree with others that maybe something needs to change. I didn't really like my last job, so was a bit like you when I woke up...wanting to just phone in sick. Job change did the trick, and now, even though I'm not a morning person, I don't dread getting out of bed!

EngagedAgain · 05/02/2020 09:39

Good advice so far and agree with Not everything - find the cause first, then you can tackle it.

Gemma2019 · 05/02/2020 09:39

I have no choice - I have a severely disabled child who pokes me in the face to wake me up at 4.30am and has done for the last decade, regardless of what shift I have worked or how tired I am.

inthekitchensink · 05/02/2020 09:44

Everyday I wake up tearful & fed up and want to stay in bed all day. I’m on a million meds for depression, take vitamins, eat well, exercise etc. Maybe it’s winter.

Waspnest · 05/02/2020 09:45

I think it depends on how long the feeling lasts. When the radio wakes me I always dread getting up out of a lovely warm bed (especially when the mornings are dark) but after a shower and my first coffee I'm fine. If you're dreading going to work or the feeling lasts all morning I think you need to make some changes or get some help.

Myshitisreal · 05/02/2020 09:50

I'm the worst morning person ever so have found that setting myself up the night before really makes a difference. I lift out all needed clothes and put on a hanger, including underwear. I set up my coffee pot and cup for the morning. My lunch is made in the evening so just needs grabbed. I also make sure my bag is packed and ready so it means I've very little to do in the morning. I get up, have coffee, shower, face/hair then go. If my husband and I are up at the same time we work round each other for bathroom times etc. I do suffer from depression etc and chronic pain so every little helps me.

Waspnest · 05/02/2020 10:00

Oh and I remember a tip from a thread on here years ago about getting up. (Assuming you don't have depression and that your job isn't the issue) just accept that for the first five minutes after waking you will feel shit and that's fine, don't stress about it. And when I had to do the school run I would get up and literally do the essentials (breakfast/packed lunches etc) and go. Some people like to get up and do some jobs like put washing on etc. but that just doesn't work for me. Maybe you need to pare back what you do in the morning and stick to the essentials?

midsummabreak · 05/02/2020 10:39

That's the fantastic thing about getting older- as soon as you wake you gotta throw yourself outa bed Asap , and get straight under a warm shower in order to ease aches and pains and feel human again!

WellFunnyYouShouldSayThat · 05/02/2020 10:49

You could be me. I am also on anti-depressants and just upped it but I HATE getting up. Even if for a nice thing.

I'm going to try the preparation thing and the 5 minutes acceptance. Good luck to you, I hope you find an answer.

midsummabreak · 05/02/2020 10:50

Wise words from wasp est, accept pushing through 5 mins of feeling shit has to happen while jumping straight under shower, which will then be followed, with luck, by feeling brighter , and having an earlier more leisurely breakfast and start to the day

midsummabreak · 05/02/2020 10:51

Wise words from waspnest*

Original poster
AIBU25 · 05/02/2020 10:55

Yes I have severe depression, I have done for many years and although on medication and having therapy I don't really feel like it's getting any better. I just feel like I don't really have a reason to get up, nothing motivates me. I don't think it would matter to anyone else if I got up or not. But things are really sliding. Often I give myself only about ten minutes to get ready, I'm not washing as much as I should (very embarrassing and normally wash twice a day) I'm sometimes late to work and I feel like I look like shit when I'm there. I'm at the point with my mental health though where I don't really know where to turn now.

OP posts:
Original poster
AIBU25 · 05/02/2020 10:58

I feel like this during the week and at weekends but probably more so in the week. I've changed jobs recently so I can't really yet change jobs again. Thank you for all the suggestions and support.

OP posts:
CorianderLord · 05/02/2020 11:03

I just force myself up, ready and out. A strong coffee and its over