To think that partner is being dramatic

[meandmycoffeecup]

DP and I had an argument today. Nothing big i told him off for something he has not put into place. He then told me that he saw me once doing the same in an annoying tone. I told him to just lower his voice and that it is no big deal. He then stormed out of the room, sat in the corner of another room with palm on his face and stayed quiet. When i tried to talk to him he said he is sad about the way i have “treated” him. He then made a big deal out of it and would not stop talking about how I question everything he does etc etc, how i am not sensitive to his feelings etc etc.

Was it just me that find this behaviour quite childish?

Yes, he sounds like a big manbaby.

You shouldn't be 'telling off' your partner imo op.
Imagine a man coming on here saying he told his wife off for something he would get flamed.
Find a better way to communicate, both of you.

Its hard to say OP, we weren't there to hear the tone, we don't know him or how you generally engage with one another.

I wouldnt appreciate being 'told off' by my equal partner though, that isn't really on. I'd also not appreciate being told to lower my voice (unless I was shouting), or be told that how I felt was no big deal and have everything I was doing be minimised and vaguely sneered at.

Do you want to be with this person? If so, closely they are trying to explain to you how they feel and you don't want to know don't agree and that's that. It isn't likely to ever get any better than this is it, without compromise and communication.

You know him best though if you think he's just a dickhead who plays the victim all the time then maybe he is, plenty are. Again though- do you want to be with that forever?

‘Told him off’? Is he your child? If another adult thought they could ‘tell me off’ they’d get a pointed stick up the appropriate entrance.

If my partner spoke to me like I was a child I'd tell him to go fuck himself, would you have preferred that?

You treated him like a child so he acted like one.

To be honest if that’s how he genuinely gages then that’s how he feels. I wouldn’t want to fee that I was being questioned about everything I ddI, even if the other person didn’t intend on making me feel that way
Shouldn’t you just sit and talk about it and see why he fees that way ?

I think YABU!!! Why do you get to “scold” him for something you’ve done and when he points that out you tell him to “lower his voice”. You sound a bit dickish here. Do you do this all the time to him? He might find it mentally exhausting

I’ve just noticed you’ve written etc etc in the part about how you aren’t sensitive to his feelings.

Either this is a reverse or you’re quite an awful partner

Your choice of language is interesting. Children are “told off”, not adults. My partner likes to claim I have “told him off” whereas I see it as a discussion between equals, granted one during which we don’t agree.

You willingly describing your behaviour as “telling him off” suggests your approach might be a bit off.

You had better go and apologise to your man now, you sound like a prim school mistress telling off a child.

YABVU and controlling. You don’t get to tell him off, and you don’t get to tell him to lower his voice. He is not a child and you are not his mother.

Treat him like an equal adult, not a dependant, and go and apologise for your awful behaviour.

Thank you everyone. I used the word “told off” because that was the word he used. But I simply told him to put something back into its place. But he was annoyed at that and told me that he did not tell me off when he saw me do the same.

I apologised to him and talked to him after he calmed down. He acknowledged that he raised his voice because he was annoyed and tired.’i do think though that we need to talk about it more.

To be fair to him, if you're constantly on at him for little things, and you've done the same in the past, I can understand why he'd get frustrated. There's no excuse for raising his voice though.