Any advice? Am I being unreasonable

[Stupidhippie]

I really need some advice or even to be told to ‘shut up and out up’ as I’m going out of my mind!!

I have a newborn and toddler I stay at home with them. My partner works full time so I get up in the night with the newborn and toddler so he can sleep as much as possible. The tiredness is hitting me hard now and I feel as though I’m just losing it. I tidy through the day (with a toddler I’m doing the same job 20 times) and I get household jobs done through the day I don’t nap cause then in the evening I have that much more to do it’s impossible. When my partner comes home from work he sits down as he’s just got in then he will put our toddler to bed and walk the dog but I’m still going for the next couple of hours. I’ve made tea then I need to clear up the tea stuff, tidy, sort baby out, prep bottles for the night etc! I just feel as though cause it’s my ‘job’ there’s no let up no break no end. I flipped tonight cause baby wouldn’t settle (he’s been like this all day) so my partner took him and became annoyed straight away so I took him back and carried on with the jobs. I said he should be washing up as I made tea or tidying up and he went off in a huff cause his been working all day. Am I being unreasonable should I just be powering through the tiredness cause it’s my job to?? I feel like I’m on my own

You have a couple of nights a week where you put the toddler to bed and walk the dog whilst he does the other stuff. Walking the dog is great as it is a job that needs to be done, but its also exercise, time to yourself and therapeutic.

If I were you I’d take the dog out, and let him do bedtime!

Then when kids are in bed he needs to be helping you with bottles, washing up, whatever is needed. Then you both sit down - equal leisure time.

it is tough.

You're both working hard, difference is he gets paid for his job and you don't!

I'd be setting up basic sharing of chores. You're right if you cook, he should clean up afterwards. We do this now and it will continue when we had a baby.

Weekends DP needs to step up and do more with the kids so you can have a break.

Do you have any spare money to hire a cleaner? This could help take some pressure of you a bit. And do you have any friends/family to pop in and look after the kids for a bit whilst you rest?

Hello,

I have a seven week old. My partner and I do one night feed each, I do the majority of the cleaning but he still helps out.

He works full time in a demanding role too, he does get tired but he understands that I am not a slave to him and the baby and my health is important.

What's the point of you being with him if you're doing it all anyway??

Does he help out more on his days off or are they viewed as his day to relax?

I wouldn’t keep doing the same cleaning jobs 50 times fwiw, just have a big clean up in the evening once the toddler is in bed and ask DP to help! He definitely should be mucking in more, parents of very young children in particular should accept relaxation isn’t really a thing anymore.

Yanbu though from experience I know certain men tend to think it doesn't matter if you're tired if you don't have a job, since you can stay in the house all day.