Wants kids vs doesn’t want kids

[Sam909090]

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months now. Things have been going well, I really enjoy his company and our sexlife is great. It’s the first person I’ve properly been with since my relationship broke down from my children’s father.

From the start he always said he wanted children. I have two of my own and I don’t think I want any more.

For a while this didn’t bother me but I’ve been starting to think about the future more and the fact that we don’t share the same dreams is an issue.

Anyone been through this? I’m considering ending it but it just feels like a huge shame when we’ve got a good thing going.

I’ve not yet introduced him to my children and I’m scared to do so in case it all falls apart. Can this work out?

Any advice would be great.

Thanks

My ex wanted kids and I didn’t. I ended the relationship after 9 years. There were other factors, but that was a big one

Personally I think it’s too big a compatibility issue and too hard to get past.

Ugh. That must feel really sucky.

Unfortunately it's not a 'good thing going' if it's setting you both up for heartbreak.

And it's only going to get harder to leave the longer you leave it.

I'd definitely raise the conversation again and be very straight and definitive about not wanting more children.

Perhaps he started out saying he wants children not to imply you'd have more, but to reassure you that he has no issue with getting involved with yours?

My sister waited 5 years then broke up.

I think deep down I know it’s not gonna work but I need to have that conversation again to see where his head is at. It’s tough thinking about these things after only a few months.

He did once say that when he meets my children they may be enough and he might not want his own but it’s a risk. I don’t want him to end up unhappy with me.

Thanks for your comments