Changing schools due to mental health

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Really struggling to know what to do and will post detail without being too outing.

DD age 6 has increasing anxiety and is now hurting herself and hearing a voice. This has worsened over the last year and has been re-referred to CAMHS. She’sbright and confident but really struggling now. Academically she is also not progressing as we would expect. School teachers have been amazingly supportive and we really love the school. The trouble is that her class has a number of challenging children that trigger her worries and there are some children who have made her feel uncomfortable, to the point that I think that this wonderful school has been tainted in her mind. School are very responsive to concerns and putting things in place but she cannot avoid peers in her class.

DD trusts the teachers at school but really dislikes being in her class (small school so no other classes to move to). School haven’t had 1:1 provision and we’ve been waiting 3 months for something to be put in place. Amazing teachers have been carrying the burden but this is not working.

DD has been saying that she wants to move school for 3 months and this is now everyday. We considered it before Christmas but there was an improvement for a bit. I re-visited a school today that is bigger so more opportunities for friendships, has 1:1 provision, and clubs that reflect her interests. The other spanner in the works is other DD is due to start school in September and we would have to submit a late application so they could end up in different schools. Although we will probably get a space at the new school.

At the moment it feels like things can’t get worse for DD1 but AIBU to move DD1 (there is a place) and risk making things worse while also risking DD2 not getting into one of our preferred schools?

I would move her, and try and build it up to be a fresh start. Could she maybe have a taster day at the proposed new school, so that you can see if she likes it and, if she does, will then start there in a positive frame of mind?
Would it work logistically for your girls to be in different schools if necessary? Thinking of drop offs, pick ups etc.

Thanks for replay @Leeds2
DD1 makes friends easily and that’s what makes me think current peer group is a major factor. I could see about her going to have a try or at least look around to see what she thinks. Once I tell her about the performing arts opportunities I think this would sway her, but at 6 who knows.

Different schools would be tricky but we have amazing grandparents close by who can help and wrap around care at new school always has spaces. New school is where DD2s best friend will probably go so might be worth the risk.

In that case, I would definitely move her!

Thank you. So hard to know what to do!

No expert but as I understand it no school will be able to give your child 121 support without her having a statement. Which takes a long time to get and is granted by the Council not the school. School of course can assist and be supportive. My son has SEN and an EHCP and the school gives him extra help. There are 3 autistic children in his class and only 1 has a statement and a 121.
Have you considered that your daughters issues maybe related to something like Autism? There was a little girl on a mental health ward reality programme last week who kept hurting herself and saying she wanted to die and hearing voices and at the end she was diagnosed with autism. My son suffers with anxiety (+ many other things) and we believe he is on the spectrum)

How would the new school be able to offer her 1:1 provision?!

It seems a shame as the school is supportive to go.

I moved my 6yo due to poor mental health (saying they wanted to die, hurting others etc) and it was 100% the right thing to do, but it was the change of environment that worked for us. The previous school was also extremely unsupportive and chaotically managed so unlikely to change. I would really be asking specific, pointed questions to the new school about what support they are able to offer, what the class dynamic is like currently etc.

For us - we had to do a late application for our youngest as well, in the end it was fine and she got a place too and is very happy at the new school.

Good luck, completely understand how stressful this decision is.

Thank you for the responses. There are 1:1 interventions that can be offered such as emotional intelligence work. She doesn’t need it all the time just having someone who can give that focused work in a safe space. She had this previously at current school but the budget was cut, staff left and training new staff keeps getting delayed.

Because of the anxiety and some of her thinking I have had someone previously suggested Autism or possible traits, but this was at a social gathering not any of the professionals. Might be worth asking about though.

New school has more girls which could help with worries about there being lots of boys making her uncomfortable. But it’s a bit unknown and a risk.

@sushigo I was thinking (hoping) a simple environment change could help. School have put in measures to help with anxiety about the introduction of gender neutral toilets but I don’t know if it will be enough.

I would ask the school you are considering what provisions are. You say about 1:1 interventions, but you need to find out if DD will be able to access them and when (eg if there is a waiting list, or only available for so many weeks then a different child has the intervention). Just make sure the new school will meet your expectations. If it does, then I'd move her. I'd also consider chatting with the people at CAMHS whether consideration for a diagnosis is a possibility.

Yes really good point about timescales. I think I would need to know exactly what can be in place for her. Obviously the school want to present themselves well to prospective parents so I really want to make sure they would deliver what they said today they could offer.

DD said today if she could magic away 7 of her class, she might want to stay at the school.