Is he out of order, am I or is this ok?

[lollypoplollypopoh]

I've just lost the whole opening post so I will keep this short and answer any Q's that may help to help me see what's acceptable.
Long time friend. Him male, me female. Him attached, me single. Both mid to late thirties.
We work and socialise together. No major history but perhaps a frisson some years ago that was never acknowledged as r acted upon. We moved on successfully from that.
His relationship is nearing the two year mark.no major commitment but certainly serious with potential from his end.
I have not met her despite suggesting it on many occasions.
He has been asking lately for us to go to some places on our own, to music events, sporting fixtures. Just us two and involves staying overnight separately but in the same hotel in a different city.we are used together socialising with friends. I am recently single so I feel I am free to pursue these activities now as I have time but out there f respect for my ex ,I would not have done these activities .

This makes me feel uncomfortable
And I don't know why.
Is it ok? I have not asked him if his girlfriend is happy but then , should I?
He has no bad intentions I'm pretty sure. He says he loves her and is very caring.
I know that I would not have been happy with my ex doing this and know that he would not have crossedthat line.
Is he out of order ? Do I go? Is his girlfriends feelings on this Amy I f my business's I know she has trust issues and would perhaps like a little more speed in the commitment side of things, for context.I don't want her to think I am trying to sabotage rage anything between them.
Thanks .

Yes she absolutely excited and. He talks about her a lot and spends lots of time with her.
She is not really involved in his friends side but f his life but hugely involved otherwise

Sorry that should say that yes she absolutely exists

I understand that but surely you can suggest a bigger group?

Yes I have done but there was s always a reason for it to be just us two. We do genuinely get on so well and only have one mutual friend.
I'm beginning to ask why the need to separate us

she does not like our level of interaction however.

Then he shouldn't be feeding that, and you'd be wise not to be involved.

Ah-ha!
I think he may have let her think that you have a face like the back of a bus/an arse the size of Wales in order to stop her putting an embargo on his meetings with you.
If you were to meet her, his fib would be rumbled.

He has a real issue with girlfriends trying to dictate who he can and cannot be friends with.he has many female friends.
I remember that he told me that if any girlfriend tried t split up His friendships, he would immediately split with them.
He doesn't seem to do many activities with other female friends though

@rosegoldwatcher I'm not sure how wrong he would be haha! She's pretty and Young's. I'm much older and only ok to look at. No competition there!
She keeps coming up as suggested friend on my social media accounts so I think she may have had a peek already!

Lolly, you're clearly uncomfortable, & as you're own feelings are:
I know that I would not have been happy with my ex doing this and know that he would not have crossedthat line
then I really think you should base your decision on how YOU want to behave, not how your friend wants to behave.

If you were your friend's g/f, you know you'd also be unhappy about the proposed trip. You'd be inhappy if you were still with your ex & he planned similar. You would not go if you were still with your ex.

So that's you, your ex, & the as-yet-unmet g/f who would all feel the same way.
Why would your friend's wishes trump 3 other people's - despite the fact that you are now single?

I know that I would not have been happy with my ex doing this

Then don't do it.

I don't think many women would be unphased by their partner sharing music events and sporting fixtures with a single female friend and staying overnight with her in the same hotel.

Why doesn't he want to do those things with his partner on their own?

I don't think she shares musical or sporting taste

It’s all very odd @lollypoplollypopoh. Apart from work mates I’ve met all the Oh of my friends who are in LT relationships.

I feel that he has a hidden agenda.

Whilst I would always warn against going with gut instincts, I think in this case if you are unhappy about being placed in this situation than don't go.
I have plenty of friends who dont share the same interests as their partners and he may not be acting untoward, but you are obviously not happy and you dont need a reason to say no.

I can't think what his hidden agenda could be. He dearly loves her but I do find it too full on in one way but in another way am flattered that he considers me so close as to enjoy my company on a one to one basis but I certainly don't want to cause trouble. I think I'll pass.