To refuse to socialise with a couple when I suspect the dh is cheating?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

For context - when I say socialise I mean once maybe twice a year max.

Dh has a colleague who he has worked with at two companies so they go back 10 years or so. Colleague joined company no.2 before dh.

Since dh has joined company no.2 he has discussed with me his colleagues behaviour on the odd occasion and is sure that he is having an affair with another colleague. From what he has told me, I am in agreement with him. I should add dh does not have any concrete evidence, Just suspicion based on things the colleague has said and their actions.

We only know colleagues wife through things like attending bigger group nights out etc. Unless I literally caught the colleague in the act I certainly don't feel able to speak to her about it - it is hearsay at the end of the day.

However I am pretty certain that what I've been told that it is an affair.

I don't want to see this colleague out and about socially, or have to witness him and his wife together knowing suspecting what I know suspect.

Wwyd?

You don’t really know them and you don’t know anything is going on. I’d leave it to be honest.

Its not your business and you're not here to judge anyone

Well I wouldn’t be inviting them round for dinner just the two of them as I’d feel bad trying to develop a friendship with her knowing what you suspect but I also wouldn’t be avoiding nights out because of them as then you’re missing out too

If you only see them once or twice a year anyway then I don’t imagine it’s going to be much of an issue if you make your excuses next time. It does all seem rather dramatic and exaggeratedly morally outraged though - being so distraught at the very thought of someone you barely know possibly cheating that you can’t bear to be in the same room as them for a group event.

I'd do nothing.
Do you realise how you are coming across here?

I'd feel exactly as you do, OP.
And I don't think you're 'coming across' as anything other than someone who has moral values.

What sort of scooby doo detective work is this?! 😂😂 come on! You don’t have evidence, they aren’t even friends of yours it’s misc colleagues of your husband and not your business!! OP 😂😂😂

You know actually this is very unfair on scooby doo - they always solved the cases!

It is all hearsay really.
It is your choice if you no longer want to socialise with them as a couple.
It isn't nice if he is cheating but there is no proof. I'd understand if he was alternating his lover and wife on these nights out.

I'm really not outraged. It has zero bearing on my life.

But I don't want to be around him (and her). I just wondered what others thought. If anyone had similar experience.

If you're having dinner together, start thumping the cutlery up and down on the table and holller, "boombangabangabang up yuh BUTT!"...and see what the reaction is

I do get where you’re coming from; DH had a friend who was cheating and I wasn’t comfortable when he suggested going out for dinner with them as I felt that any friendship I developed with her would be quite fake and I didn’t feel very positive towards the man

As you don't know, and you don't know their marriage, or even what you know, I feel you're being very judgey, and quick to jump to conclusions.

For me you're unreasonable, and so is your gossipy husband.

You don't know anything for sure, they're not your friends and you see them once a year. I'm sure you not socialising with them will have a huge impact on their lives

why is everyone going on like the OP is debating whether to intervene? she's not.. she's saying she doesn't want to socialise with him. fair enough OP i don't think i would want to either!

I can’t imagine making a stand about the fidelity of someone I see twice a year on hearsay. I mean, I was rumoured to be having an affair with a married colleague in a job I had years ago, on the grounds that we’d been seen having breakfast together a lot. In fact, I commuted into London on an early bus three days a week, and his wife had just run off with the plumber and he was sleeping on the sofa in his office, so was close by and liked company.