DHs reaction to sexual assault [trigger warning]

[Futaridoushi]

Whilst in a casino, a man deliberately and repeatedly rubbed his genitals against my bum and touched me innaprioprately whilst I was trying to play roulette with my friends. I didn't say anything to staff, and my (male) friends weren't making a big deal of it, but felt upset and violated so I went back to the hotel I was staying at. I called DH and told him about what happened, and his first response was that "I must have looked hot".

AIBU to be extremely upset by this? He's since said it was a stupid remark and he was trying to cheer me up, but I can't really get over it, especially since I was already crying on the phone and hadn't made it sound light-hearted. Maybe I'm overreacting though.

This is gross and absolutely how rape culture is still so prevalent. Does he understand that???
I'm sorry this happened to you, it's awful and you absolutely did nothing wrong.

He genuinely thought it would cheer me up... That's what upsets me most. He didn't try to be insensitive or sickish, he genuinely thought that it was an appropriate response that might have made me feel better. And even now he's like "I can't help being stupid".

“Oh bore off overnightangel.

I take it you’re one of the excusers for pathetic men, that voted YABU.”

1. I didn’t vote
2. I’m not a fan of demonising half the population on the acts of one person

Hope this helps

Fucking disgusting. What he did and the response. So it's your fault??

DH was utterly insensitive - you know that, right? His behaviour is a massive wound to the relationship that he is going to have to work very hard to repair.

overnightangel this is really not the thread to start 'not all menning' us. This is a thread about sexual assault. A very real, triggering, traumatising experience. If you think it's appropriate for you to derail it then I really pity you. Despicable.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. Sending strength and hugs

Honestly, I'd feel so let down by my friends in this situation. I know it does nothing for feminism but when I'm out with my male friends, I do expect them to look after me and to some extent protect me from such horrible things.

It is a shame your dh did not respond well. I think men often trivialize things they're not equipped to deal with properly. I doubt it's meant in a disrespectful way.

As a PP said, do you have any understanding females to talk to IRL?

@RedPanda2 I wasn’t “derailing” a thread I was responding to a moronic post