To take time off after a chemical pregnancy

[Elephantonascooter]

Posted on pregnancy but no responses but Im in desperate need of a bit of advice please.
I had DS (darling son) 16 months ago, suffered with PND which perked up around 9 months in.

I had a copper coil fitted about a year ago.

About 3 weeks ago I had the most awful tummy cramping, never had anything like it. I suspected I was pregnant but waited for period which eventually turned up about a week late. From the moment the tummy cramps started I knew I was miscarrying. The heaviness of the period, the uncontrollable tears, the clotting. It was awful. It eventually stopped but because I didn't test, i don't know for sure. However, the emotions I have felt have been so overwhelming and I know it was a MC (miscarriage) just unconfirmed.

I really know I need some time off to come to terms with my emotions, have my coil checked and dealt with etc but I cannot bring myself to talk about what's happened without seizing up and bursting into tears.
What do I do? Do I go to the gp but I might not get the words out and just cry? Do I just carry on and go to work? I've stopped myself telling my boss so many times for fear of not being able to say anything because Im so upset each time.
I enjoy my job and don't want to loose respect there but the overwhelming emotion is getting to me. What do I do next?
So I guess my AIBU is WIBU to take time off for this? Thanks

Seems its just quiet on here tonight then

No one can tell you if you’re being unreasonable or not. You needed time off, you took time off. Nothing else to say.

Sorry you are feeling down. We cant really tell you if you can take time off or not. If you think you are still depressed go back to the gp and ask for help. I'd try not to sit and speculate though. You may just have had a bad period. Hope you feel better soon.

Ah love, didn’t want to leave your post unanswered. Very sorry for what you’re going through. Of course you should take some time if you need it - you don’t need to put a label on it if you don’t want to - you should look after your mental health and do what you need to do for you

Hi op, if you feel that way I'd certainly take time off work. Could you tell your boss its a sickness bug or something? Unless you feel you want to tell the truth.
I so sorry for your loss. I've been where you are last summer, it was very upsetting, but I felt much better once the bleeding had stopped, and I could move onto my next cycle. Are you hoping to conceive? Let yourself grieve and do what you feel you need to do. Good luck.

Could you write it down? If you need to talk to your GP or your boss and find it to difficult then a letter may make it slightly easier.

Can you can to the GP with it written down? Absolutely take time off, if that’s the best thing for your mental health. And take care of yourself

@Saltycinnamon maybe a bit of compassion wouldn’t go a miss though.

Sorry OP I think you know your body best. Take care of yourself. A miscarriage is hard on your body and your mind xx

YANBU. If men experienced the things women do, you can bet your bottom dollar they'd be taking time off for them! They'd probably have contracted time off for a period every month!

Hi, firstly very sorry this is happening to you. If you are unable to cope with the emotions and feelings in order to ask for help without crying that's a very strong indicator that you really need help. With four MCs and five breakdowns (not all related to fertility) over a long life I advise you to
1 get a GP appointment asap
2 take a note to the GP so you don't have to speak in the first minute of the appointment
"I am emotionally overwhelmed and need to tell you that I think I have had a miscarriage on xx date, I don't think I am recovering well physically or mentally so please be patient and lead me through the necessary questions"
3 a good GP will read that and flex their extra sympathy muscles even in a short appointment.

Separate action re work: take a day's leave on the day of the GP appointment. If you think it will help report the situation to HR not your boss or put the basic details in an email to LM cc to HR explaining steps you are taking to deal with it and ask for a short term sympathy and confidential buffering from your workmates. This helps because it's so hard to say this stuff out loud.
Take a friend or partner to GP or make sure they're available to follow up with you (tea & sympathy) that day.
This is how I dealt with work on my final MC. And how how I dealt with GP when I last had a breakdown.
They're there to help.
Be kind to yourself.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. In your shoes I would absolutely get checked out and I'd take a couple of days sick leave for reasons of "gynaecological matters", no need to say anything more than that. Your employer doesn't need to know the detail, just that there's a medical problem and what type.

If it turns out it wasn't a pregnancy, well, you weren't to know that but maybe keep an eye on yourself re your mood and feelings about having another baby. Oh and give your ds a big hug.

@itsamood I’ve had many, many miscarriages & a few chemical pregnancies when I was desperate to have a healthy pregnancy. CPs are very common & most people don’t even know they’ve had them - OP included. The OP is not coping well & that’s specific to her but my point really was that she says that she knows she needs time off...so she should take it.

Thank you for the replies. I won't lie and say the first response on this post didn't make me feel overreactive and like I should get on with it... Because it did.
However, the remaining response have been very helpful.
@Menaimum your post resented with me a lot (the first bit) and the rest has a lot of very good suggestions. I think you are right about writing it down and emailing work rather than calling in.
I will try and get a gp appointment tomorrow. I know as soon as its said I should be able to string sentences together re the overwhelming emotion which is what I need the help with. Thank you