To ask how your (ex) husband and children recovered from a divorce?

[Rockbox84]

I’ve been married since I was 20 and I’m now 37. For many reasons it’s getting back increasingly difficult for me to stay married. I’m just not who I was back then. I was married so quickly and dh is 10 years older than me. I care about dh but we have nothing in common, we do nothing together and dh does nothing with the children either.

I’ve checked out. I’m not sure there’s a way back.

However dh will be distraught and so will the dc. I would rather just stay and be unhappy than ruin all their lives. If it’s my life or theirs - then I’d rather it was mine was unhappy as I’m already 37 so probably halfway through anyway.

How did your children (and husband) take the news of a split? Was there anything that helped? How long until it was the new normal? I do find the thought of being away from my children very difficult. Ds is nearly 10 and dd nearly 3. Both are extremely bonded to me because dh has never done much with them.

He might be arsehole And fight for 50:50
But really will he ? Only tends
To happen with genuinely committed fathers

@Thisisworsethananticpated 6 weeks is still such a small amount of time.

My dad was abusive and when my parents split up I was angry about everything. It isn’t a magical fix sadly but I do know that it gets better. It won’t happen instantly and could take years but it will be worth it.
If your children witnessed the abuse to you or were abused themselves then it takes a while to realise you are safe. I actually stayed with my dad for a bit after my mum left because although I was being abused, it was all I knew and this is quite common with people who have experienced abuse.

Go easy on yourself, it’s a big thing you have done! for you

If your thinking about leaving then you need to plan.
You need a job.You need to know all the family finances and work out what is possible.
You 10 yr old already knows that you aren't happy and he's not either.Your3yr old will adapt better.You will be happier and that will help your children immensely.
This may even benefit the relationship between him and his children as he will have to spend time with them,though it doesn't sound as if he will do 50:50.
Don't waste years 'for the children' ,your only 37,lots of a good happy life ahead.

TheTrollFairy

Thanks for your kind words . Feel calmer
Today . I just wanted to be honest that the initial aftermath is Brutal
I have faith it will get better eventually