AIBU: is this excessive?

[PeapodBurgundy]

First world problem here, and it certainly wasn't a huge issue, more just vaguely wondering if OH has a point.

We had a few bits and pieces for fine motor skills (scoops, tweezers, tongs etc) from before DD was born. She is now taking an interest in such things, so I ordered a second one of each. They don't do too badly for sharing for their ages (3 and almost 18 months), but DS is quite rigid in the way he plays (undergoing assessment for ASD), so either DD doesn't get a look in with certain ones, or they bicker and it spoils their play.

The whole lot came to about £12 including delivery, so not pennies, but certainly not a huge amount of money. I didn't think it any different to buying extra beakers etc when she came to need them. It feels like equipment to me rather than toys. OH made a comment about me buying toys now just to give them when it's DS's birthday next month. (Not a telling off or anything, more just seemed surprised I hadn't bought them for DS for his birthday).

If they were going to be a gift, they would have been for DD's birthday, which isn't until August, and she's getting good use of them now, so even upon reflection I still want to purchase them now.

Am I being excessive here? Should this kind of thing be waiting for birthdays/Christmas etc? I don't want spoiled, materialistic children, so I'm interested to hear thoughts.

YANBU, unless you're having massive money problems

Sorry OP. I am having trouble understanding what you mean.

Who was the present for? Your DS or DD?

No particular money problems. Only debts are mortgage and the windows which we have on finance, but they're interest free at the moment, and we're on track to have them paid off before any interest is added. Small amount in savings.

@TheMustressMhor

Sorry, I waffle

They weren't a gift for anyone, I just bought them and put them in the tub with the ones we already had. OH made a comment that he thought they were for DS's birthday next month, now wondering if I should have waited until DD's birthday in August to buy them, or else take into account I've purchased them now when it comes to her birthday.

It doesn't seem fair for them to be from DS's birthday budget when the original set are technically his, as they were from before we had DD.

No not unreasonable, toys help the babies development so she needs them now not in august! I buy what DD needs as she needs it, i wouldn’t wait until her birthday or Xmas.

Okay. It sounds like your DH is overthinking this a bit.

I don't think that things like that would not be considered particularly as birthday presents in most families. Well, not in my family, anyway.

Unless there's a huge backstory about you being massively unreasonable and running up debts your DH is being unreasonable. Family money is family money; he shouldn't be questioning where you spend it any more than he should be answerable for how he spends it.

There's a world of difference between buying stuff for the sake of it to appease spoiled children and buying things which will actively engage them and help them learn new skills. If he can't see that, he needs to lighten up.

Thanks for the replies. We're not flush by any means, but it wasn't an amount that is going to cause us any kind of financial difficulty.

I get a bit paranoid sometime about overdoing it when it comes to buying things for them. There was precious little spare growing up, and although we had everything we needed, and a lot of what we wanted, from the age of about 9, I was very aware of how much effort DM put into making sure that was the case. I don't want them worried we can't afford things, but equally I don't want to go the other way and have them grow up with no understanding of money, or appreciation for anything.

I trust the Mumsnet jury to keep me in check