To have not chosen an outstanding Catholic primary?

[MakingABoobOfIt]

So, primary school applications are done. We are lucky as we live in a rural area and so have a choice of schools, however most are not great. I haven’t chosen the local catholic primary as an option - even though its outstanding and less than 5 minutes walk from our house. I feel very strongly about DS not being Catholic educated, as I have serious issues with the Church, however I’m starting to doubt my decision as lots of local mums insist you ‘wouldn’t even know it’s Catholic’ 🤨 Having been Catholic-educated I very much doubt this, however I’m worried I’ve made a bad decision - should I have ignored my own issues to get DS into an outstanding (and by all accounts lovely) school?

Well we chose not to send our children to RC schools despite my DH being a Sunday School teacher at the adjacent Church. I was brought up in a different Christian denomination that doesn't have schools, and am firmly of the view that home and Church are the places for religious education and school is for general education. I don't agree with school time being spent on stuff like First Communion preparation, both because there is more than enough to fit into the school day on the National Curriculum and because I don't agree with children automatically being "processed" at a particular age, regardless of their individual level of understanding or their wishes. DH agreed that my reasoning was entirely logical, though it did make me rather unpopular with the in laws for a while!
As it happens, we felt that other schools were better for our children for a variety of reasons. Had that not been the case, it might have been more difficult for me to persuade DH, but even as a practising Christian, I don't think any Church should have direct influence over schools.

Oh we went to look at our local outstanding Catholic school and there were no green spaces, the outdoor exercise consisted of the children walking along a path drawn on the tarmac 8 times because 8 times around was a mile. No trees, no trips to any green areas either. It was small and I felt it was so cluttered. All the hallways were piled with plastic boxes of learning resources and it felt run down. The teaching may have been outstanding but I felt miserable walking around it. The other schools we looked at were so different

It was also very Catholic, we aren't so it was a bit intense for us

Regardless of whether the education would have been better or the school more suited to your DC, your anti-Catholic feeling is so strong that it would have impacted on your DC's ability to participate and integrate.

I'm more than surprised that you're anticipating the CofE school will be less religious or more in keeping with your beliefs. I find it unlikely. Friends at CofE schools seem to have much more religious education and services than friends at RC schools. I think you should have done more research tbh.

re Sticky's experience in Ireland, that's interesting.
what would you say were the main differences in approach ?

Both my DC went to RC primary and high schools, DS1 just got amazing GCSe results. They are, again, by far the best schools in the area as far as exam results. We are non-practising Catholics and just bypass the church stuff. They tolerate the RE, it hasn't turned them into sexist narrow minded individuals. Hypocritical maybe, but their academic performance is more important to me than my morals.

I went to Catholic primary school for a year. My mum pulled me out after I started quoting "father" on everything. My best friend sent her eldest daughter and had similar issues. Catholic schools are fantastic if you are Catholic

@KatyCarrCan I hear you, but the CofE school we’ve put down is very arms-length with the Church, there isn’t actually a Church local to the school unusually, and the vast majority of their parents aren’t CofE. So it definitely felt very non-religious, they have a daily assembly for example but it’s not religious.

My children attend a Catholic school and I honestly cannot wait for them to leave. My eldest was allocated a place there after we didn't get into the three other schools within my catchment area. I appealed but was advised it was unlikely a place would come free before May of the following year, by which point she was settled. My youngest goes there as I wanted them to be together, no other reason.

As my eldest now approaches leaving, I feel she is not a well-rounded individual like some of her peers will be in high school. She has never met a child of a different faith. There is a small polish community in our area, but her exposure to different faiths/races has minimal. They covered dinosaurs/evolution in the simplest form as god created the earth and therefore they do not need to learn about evolution. She has not been taught sex Ed, or about same sex relationships, trans etc. Other religions have been barely touched on.

Whilst their education has been good, it's just not balanced and much education has been given at home so that they're not ignorant to other faiths and are understanding of diversity. The school has a secondary stage, but my children will not be flowing through as the teaching doesn't seem to change. If a girl gets pregnant, they are removed from the school immediately - yet the school does not teach about contraception or offer a youth councillor.

Ive never moved them as there isn't actually anything wrong with the school. Results have been outstanding and in the whole I'm happy. But do I believe they could expand their teaching to be more diverse? Yes I do.

@Littletabbyocelot honestly, we looked back over some old school work my mum has kept and we were all creased - it was all ‘Jesus did this, God said that...’

@adviceneededon thank you for your considered reply - you’ve basically summed up everything I am worried about happening!

I was going to say YANBU until I got to your post saying that you didn’t even look around the Catholic school.

It is pretty hypocritical to claim that you are avoiding a Catholic school because of what you perceive to be inherent prejudices in the faith, but not to challenge your own prejudices at all by even visiting the place - especially if you’ve gone for a CofE school after all!

Be swayed by your gut, OFSTED is nothing more than a starting point at best.

"CofE is overall less mental than Catholic!"

Nice! Definitely do not dream of sending your children to the Catholic school with an attitude like that.

My son goes to a catholic school. He is taught about several religions, and although he does say prayers and is taught about the catholic religion, it’s definitely not heavy on religion.

I teach in a catholic high school, we absolutely do not teach that homosexuality is a sin etc. It would absolutely not be allowed, we actually have PSHE classes on tolerance, acceptance of all sexualities, genders, religions and circumstances. I have had a pupil as me why the bible says that homosexuality is a sin however, and I answered the same way I would answer my own son...that the bible was written a long, long tome ago where attitudes were different, and that doesn’t mean right. Now we know that homosexuality is completely natural, and should be accepted and viewed in the same way as heterosexuality.

I am catholic but I am not a practising catholic. I find myself more agnostic to be honest the older I get. I wouldn’t put my child in a school because it was catholic, but the outstanding school in my area is catholic, and so that’s the one we chose.

I think advice’s situation is a lot less likely to occur if the school is undersubscribed.

YAB a bit unreasonable if you are ignoring people who are telling you it’s barely noticeable and you haven’t been to see it.

Dds go to a catholic school and whilst it follows a catholic ethos it doesn’t ram it down their throat and they’re not actually allowed to do a lot of the things they used to do

Most other schools follow same teaching - near me the c of e school is way more religious than the RC one

Personally I would fee l giving my kids a sub standard education out of principle

If similar standard are offered fair enough but no way would I sent them to a crap school otherwise

I would feel guility that should say

We only had the option of a CofE school for DC because the secular one on the of our street was massively oversubscribed. I was dubious and reluctant as an Atheist but aside from praying quickly twice a day it’s not massively different to regular schools (they used to go to a secular school before we moved towns). I actually really like their school now and am glad they go there even though it’s further away.

My DS will start secondary school in September next year and I am going to put the Catholic school as first option. I have seen the kids leaving the secular secondary, they aren’t great whereas the ones leaving the Catholic school always seem polite and well mannered.

I must say however it depends on the school. My son has evolution, dinosaurs, sex education on his primary curriculum. Catholic schools still have to follow some sort of government curriculum so it would be worth visiting and asking these questions, if you are still open minded.

It depends on the Catholic school.

DS went to Catholic school in one town, it was brilliant and less religious than the CofE school I was working in at the time, by the time DD started school we'd moved and the Catholic school in the new town was over the top churchy.

I get you, although our local, outstanding CoE school is hardcore about religion, so you can’t assume it’ll be any less prominent. We didn’t choose it for that reason, and, like you, no one could understand why I’d let a little thing like that put me off, when the SATS were so outstanding 🤷‍♀️

Tbf DS still comes home from his non-religious state school quoting bible stories as fact, so you will get in a bit anywhere!

I was brought up Catholic and I wouldn't have sent my kids to a Catholic school as I find the teachings absurd

advice can I ask if you're in the UK? because the curriculum and attitudes you're describing would have been out of place when I was at an RC school and that was over 20 years ago. We had lots of different faiths, lots of different nationalities, sex education classes and ethics classes as well as at least a year where any RE lessons were about other faiths. RC schools are usually very good at pastoral care so I'm struggling to believe your school doesn't offer pastoral support so the absence of any counselling support seems a huge oversight unless they are currently in the process of recruiting to the post.

I haven't read the whole thread, and I very rarely comment, but felt that I should here. I am a teacher in a Catholic secondary school. Many of the teachers are gay, and it isn't an issue to be gay. The deputy head is gay, married and has an adopted son.
I am not a Catholic. In fact, I'm probably not Christian. I think that you have to chose your school by it's own merits.