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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling colleagues about new job

41 replies

C1u4toff · 03/02/2020 15:07

Will break this down as easy as possible

Monday 20th Jan spoke to HR about the possibility of changing depts as they were currently employing.

Wednesday 22nd January head of HR talked with me about possibility of a compleltely new role working for CEO (took me by surprise as he already has an exec assistant but was advised we be working together). Was asked to meet CEO for a discussion. Was asked to keep confidential.

Thursday 22rd Jan met CEO and head of HR and had informal interview. Again advised be working in a small team of admin if offered job.

Friday 24th I received an email after goi g home offering me the job and stating that HR will get me set up with details.

On the Monday morning I told my team of 3 colleagues and 1 other from another department as I was very happy and excited. Obviously word got round.

My director asked to speak to me today to ask if I had told anyone as the person in the role has not been informed and she is not happy.

Wibu to tell people? I had assumed that someone would have told the other lady I would be working with her.
My anxiety is through the roof as I am scared I have compromised this new opportunity

OP posts:
Original poster
C1u4toff · 03/02/2020 15:08

Just to add it didn't say anywhere in the email offer to keep confidential.

OP posts:
Cyberve · 03/02/2020 15:43

That's really odd of them not to tell her before they interviewed. Sounds like their fault not yours. They should have said something.

edwinbear · 03/02/2020 15:43

YABU. You were asked to keep it confidential and didn't, presumably being able to keep things confidential is a key part of working for a CEO, I wouldn't be at all surprised if they withdrew the offer.

Original poster
C1u4toff · 03/02/2020 15:49

Edwinbear they asked me to keep my meeting with the CEO confidential however on the job offer email the day after they didn't mention about keeping the job offer confidential. They told my manager and director and I believed they would have said to my colleagues so I wanted to speak with them first.

OP posts:
edwinbear · 03/02/2020 15:56

All the same, having been asked to keep things confidential, you should have checked whether it was OK to discuss with colleagues before mentioning it. It was clearly a bit sensitive given the request to keep it quiet initially.

DontCallUp · 03/02/2020 16:01

YABU

Graphista · 03/02/2020 16:06

YABU - you were asked to keep it confidential, that means you do so until told otherwise

So yea you messed up! Apologise to the relevant parties, assure them you have learned your lesson (by the sounds of it the role also may well at times require your ability to keep quiet about things) and hope you haven’t scuppered it!

Whenever you’re asked to keep something confidential you do so unless and until you’re specifically told that has changed.

LucyAutumn · 03/02/2020 16:09

Yabvu. You should have waited until you were told it was ok or at the very least asked for confirmation.

Batqueen · 03/02/2020 16:10

What Graphista said!

Greydove28 · 03/02/2020 16:11

I don't think yabu at all.

ThaQuilomum · 03/02/2020 16:12

On the 22nd you were meeting the CEO about the job and asked to keep it confidential so ywbu for sure. Not much you can do about it now.

CloudsCanLookLikeSheep · 03/02/2020 16:17

Companies can get funny about this sort of thing. When I left my old company I was told not to tell anyone after I'd resigned, as they wanted to manage the comms themselves.

Naturally as I was moving on I told pretty much whoever I liked. Different if you're staying though.

songsanddancing · 03/02/2020 16:20

My instinct would have been to check to tell people even after accepting the job. I once had to wait 3 months before I was able to divulge. It is common sense but it's done now and you can't change it. I'm sure it will all come out in the wash

CoffeeCoinneseur · 03/02/2020 16:24

You were offered the job by email on Friday after going home, and on Monday morning you told 4 colleagues.

Had you even formally accepted the job at this point? Confused

Of course YABU - you've made a massive cock up. I'd imagine working with/for the CEO requires a high level of confidentiality. And you've put your new colleague who you'll be working with, on the back foot.

Original poster
C1u4toff · 03/02/2020 16:24

Thanks for all opinions. I'm going to speak with HR now and explain. I honestly believed as I had been offered it I would be in the clear. Hoping I haven't ruined my chances as 😭

OP posts:
Sonders · 03/02/2020 16:31

Sorry to confirm what others have said, but yeah - YABU. Your employer would not have asked for confidentiality willy-nilly, and you shouldn't gloat about a role until the contracts are signed and you're on the move.

Hopefully it will all work out ok for you

IntermittentParps · 03/02/2020 16:40

It's hardly 'gloating'. How spiteful.

I think you could have asked if you should keep schtum; but on the other hand I think the onus is more on them to tell you if it's meant to be confidential.

And I find it really weird that the person you'll be working with didn't know Confused Also, what is she unhappy about exactly?

I'd say to HR that it's unfortunate if it's caused problems and that if it had been specified that this was confidential you'd obviously have observed that ie give them an acknowledgement rather than an apology!

Batqueen · 03/02/2020 16:44

Good luck OP, (as an hr person) I would definitely think more of you for acknowledging your error and coming to me.

CoffeeCoinneseur · 03/02/2020 16:52

I think the onus is more on them to tell you if it's meant to be confidential.

She was told on Wednesday to keep it confidential, meeting was Thursday, job offer Friday evening, and by Monday morning she's told colleagues.

TheMemoryLingers · 03/02/2020 17:01

Six of one and half a dozen of the other. They should have been clearer that the offer was confidential rather than just the interview. You should have erred on the side of caution and checked if it wasn't clear, bearing in mind that recruitment is notoriously a sensitive issue. I hope it won't be held against you, OP.

Original poster
C1u4toff · 03/02/2020 17:04

Spoke to HR and she believes there shouldn't be an issue. I apologised profusely as I obviously overstepped the gun (to add I absolutely wasn't gloating I just wanted to tell me colleagues as we are very understaffed at present and I wanted to reassure them that I wasn't just jumping ship and that I had asked for an extended handover period to allow them to find someone else. Also my manager would have said in our morning meeting and I wanted to come from me) I asked if if should apologise to future colleague and explain to CEO but she said just to leave it be. She said that she would be finalising contract etc this week. I am very relived but I have learned a major lesson not to just assume things. Thank you all very much for your honest posts.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 03/02/2020 17:07

Remain prepared for the CEO to change her mind. They'd have a very good case for doing so, no matter how reassuring HR were.

IntermittentParps · 03/02/2020 18:00

They should have been clearer that the offer was confidential rather than just the interview.

I agree with this.

Curious, are you actually trying to worry the OP? Confused

CoffeeCoinneseur · 03/02/2020 18:09

They should have been clearer that the offer was confidential rather than just the interview.
**
I agree with this.

Really, if it needs spelling out to that degree, then the person probably isn't suitable to be working around CEO levels of confidential information. Grin

IntermittentParps · 03/02/2020 18:26

I don't think that's very funny, Coffee. It's an assumption/mistake that anyone could make, IMO.