to not want help to cook?

[thefairyfellersmasterstroke]

DS, late teens, has a new GF of about 6 weeks duration. She lives in another town, so I've only met her 3 times as he mainly goes over to hers. She seems very nice, but rather anxious to please, which I'm finding somewhat disconcerting, to be frank; I'm used to just a smile and the basic pleasantries from other GFs, as I'm not the one they're here to see.

So DS has invited GF for dinner later this week, which I am fine with. However she wants to help me cook the meal. I don't even know what we'll have yet, but I know I don't want to be "helped". My kitchen is my domain, and other people being around, unless I ask for help, really gets on my nerves. I've tried politely declining, via DS, but she seems to be insisting that she wants to be involved in the meal. I absolutely don't want this, and my DS thinks I'm being unreasonable. If she wants to help there will be a pile of dishes afterwards, but no, she wants to cook. With me. I hate saying no to people, but I feel I'm being pushed into doing something I don't want to.

AIBU? I'm really unsure if I am or not.

This is an issue, really? Just let her help cook or better still get the two of them to make dinner.

Are you always so awkward?

And I don't want to offend her if I snap at her, which I often do when interrupted while cooking.

I think you are one who needs to change.

YABU and awkward.

You sound really uptight OP.

I think you need to be a bit upfront and say you appreciate her being so considerate to offer help but you really dislike people working with you in the kitchen. Otherwise this could keep happening every time she joins you for dinner.

And I don't want to offend her if I snap at her, which I often do when interrupted while cooking.

Then step back and let your DS and GF do the cooking.

It's a kitchen, not Buckingham Palace, and it's not going to matter if the meal doesn't get cooked precisely to a timetable.

What happened at in the end? Did you challenge her to a duel by spatula or did you cordon off the kitchen and rig up an alarm?

I'd also like to know what you had for dinner.

Offer for her to bring a pudding and say in a firm manner that you don't enjoy cooking with other people in the kitchen .offer no further explanation.it's your kitchen op.

Can you have a glass of wine or something together while you cook and get to know each other, get her to stop feeling like she has to win your approval

"Sorry love but I only like to cook alone. I find it hard work having an extra person in my kitchen. I'll just get stressed out. But thank you so much for the offer"

But say it to her, not through your DS.

You could even ask her if she would like to bring a dessert?

'DON'T BE A SPOONY FUCKER!!!'

Just tell her you want her to chill and they can wash up later.

My friend’s DS GF insisted on helping put up the Christmas decorations

You sound like a fun future MIL...

I think let her bring a dessert and get her and son to cook another time. I don't know if it is really okay to be snapping at people while you are cooking though. I love cooking, but I don't mind DH helping when I do even if he has his own way of doing things.

Has it happened yet