This is kind of a two parter. I suffered my second miscarriage on Thursday (first was an anembryonic pregnancy so no baby grew, this time there was a baby) and I felt a glimmer of relief. I feel absolutely horrible about this! However, I am terrified of being pregnant and giving birth and felt relief that I didn't have to do it any more. - I asked my nurses to point me in the direction of some counselling or something because I feel that's not normal, is it? I want children, I'm just terrified to do it 😪
Second part: I attended a family lunch on Saturday, probably shouldn't have as I'm still feeling quite ill from Thursday. I felt that my mum was putting me down in front of everyone (she does this all the time but I felt now was really not an appropriate time). I called her out on it, in private I may add, and told her I felt she was being an asshole. I was sitting there feeling very ill and I've just lost my child and she's going on about irrelevant stuff. Now she won't talk to me or see me as I'm not considering her feelings about whatever she was talking about. So now I have no one, other than my partner, who is fantastic.