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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling after miscarriage

4 replies

HelloKitty145 · 03/02/2020 10:22

This is kind of a two parter. I suffered my second miscarriage on Thursday (first was an anembryonic pregnancy so no baby grew, this time there was a baby) and I felt a glimmer of relief. I feel absolutely horrible about this! However, I am terrified of being pregnant and giving birth and felt relief that I didn't have to do it any more. - I asked my nurses to point me in the direction of some counselling or something because I feel that's not normal, is it? I want children, I'm just terrified to do it 😪

Second part: I attended a family lunch on Saturday, probably shouldn't have as I'm still feeling quite ill from Thursday. I felt that my mum was putting me down in front of everyone (she does this all the time but I felt now was really not an appropriate time). I called her out on it, in private I may add, and told her I felt she was being an asshole. I was sitting there feeling very ill and I've just lost my child and she's going on about irrelevant stuff. Now she won't talk to me or see me as I'm not considering her feelings about whatever she was talking about. So now I have no one, other than my partner, who is fantastic.

OP posts:
toothfairy73 · 03/02/2020 14:19

I'm so sorry about your miscarriages, and so sorry that your mum is being so shitty. So glad you have a supportive partner.

I was terrified of giving birth too, and think this is fairly common. It would be good to speak to someone though to talk this through. Sorry I can't point you in the right direction of who to suggest. Just wanted to send you a big hug and let you know you are not alone

Urkiddingright · 03/02/2020 14:22

I think this is fairly normal after miscarriage, it’s self preservation. I felt the same after my second missed miscarriage, it was so cruel to reach the 12 week mark twice only to be told the heart had stopped weeks before at the first scan. I was heartbroken and decided I never wanted to go through it again after the second one, was happy with life as it was etc. Anyway, I thankfully got over that and now have 15 month old DS who is a delight.

Miscarriage is cruel and gut wrenching, I think your reaction is very normal. You are trying to protect yourself from further hurt.

MrsBrentford · 03/02/2020 14:34

Sorry to hear you are having a shitty time OP.

I don’t know anyone who wasn’t scared of giving birth Flowers

HelloKitty145 · 03/02/2020 22:45

Thank you for your answers, they are very helpful

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