Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you had an unplanned pregnancy, how did things work out?

56 replies

OhDeez · 03/02/2020 04:03

Just that really.

OP posts:
Roozy123 · 03/02/2020 10:06

Unplanned pregnancy with a man I had known 2 or 3 months.

We're now pregnant with our 3rd and together 6 years later this month.

Busybusybust · 03/02/2020 10:11

Number 4 was a total surprise. I really did not want another. However she is now 30 and has been a total joy for the entire 30 years.

Quietisoverated · 03/02/2020 10:30

I'm now married to unexpected DSs dad and we have a scond on the way. We'd only been dating a year and were both still at our parents so it was a bit of a shock.

Were now really happy. I will add though if I didn't think it was going to work with now DH I wouldn't have forced the relationship.

I hope your OK

Franticbutterfly · 03/02/2020 10:32

DD3 was unplanned. Best Unexpected thing that has ever happened to me. She’s the light of my life.

Refreshed · 03/02/2020 10:34

I had an unplanned pregnancy in my teens that I decided to continue with. I miscarried. No idea what I was thinking having a baby at that age, abortion should've happened straight up. However I still feel very sad about that pregnancy, strangely, just as I do about the planned pregnancies I lost with DH.

I have one DS now and I wouldn't have anymore, he's my everything

Urkiddingright · 03/02/2020 10:35

I planned to have two close in age because my brother was six years younger than me and I was never close to him so I had my first two 15 months apart. When DC2 was 5 months old I found out I was pregnant again, this was despite being on the pill, breastfeeding so no periods and we barely had sex anyway. I booked an abortion straight away, it was just my automatic reaction but I couldn’t go through with it on the day.

She’s seven now and I’m so glad I didn’t terminate. Having three under three was an enormously difficult and tumultuous time but I survived and managed to gain a first class honours degree simultaneously.

1stTimeMama · 03/02/2020 10:35

We've had a couple. Our first was unplanned, we'd only been together 3 months, and I hadn't ever really thought about having children, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I felt it was what I was meant to do. She's 11 this year.
Then, when our second was 7 months old, I fell pregnant unexpetedly despite being on the pill and exclusively breastfeeding. He's now nearly 6.
I'm now pregnant with my 5th baby, and although we had been TTC throughout 2018, nothing happened and I had come to accept that my baby days were over. We cleared out all of our baby things, I started to move on, and then in December I found out I was pregnant again!

Thesearmsofmine · 03/02/2020 10:43

I fell pregnant when I wasn’t in a relationship with the father and I still lived at home with my parents. Decided to keep the baby as I had plenty of support and he will be 10 this year. I am now (happily)married to his dad and we have 3dc.

My pregnancy was stressful at times, I was also made redundant at work and it was a stressful time but I of course I have no regrets.

Mia1415 · 03/02/2020 10:59

My DS was very unplanned! I didn't find out I was having him until I was nearly 25 weeks pregnant. His 'father' wanted zero involvement and has had none (including financially). DS is now 7 and my world.

Having him has altered my career plans and I have absolutely no social life, however I wouldn't have it any other way.

BirdintheWings · 03/02/2020 11:06

Best mistake we ever made.

But I'm saying that 18 years down the line as she looks into leaving home to go to university. When we unexpectedly had three small children (one with SEN) instead of two, it was very tough going. We had very little sleep, we were run ragged, the house was too small and the extension was a nightmare, money was tight and DH came close to breakdown.

Sympathies, OP. I hope things improve for you.

JRUIN · 03/02/2020 11:11

My 4th and 5th children were both unplanned. I was on the pill both times and at my insistence my (now ex) husband also used condoms when I conceived the 5th. No idea how it happened-my ex even accused me of having an affair and never bonded with my youngest. His loss though,as my lad is the loveliest 18yr old going and I honestly think he and my other little surprise were just meant to be and I wouldn't swap them for the world Smile

Seashellsandbuttons · 03/02/2020 11:16

I did. DC is 6 now and the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Sure I had a big old tantrum when I realised I was preggers and there have been some struggles.

BUT overall it's been an amazing journey.

It was the absolute making of my DH too. He's an incredible Dad.

elliejjtiny · 03/02/2020 11:19

Yes, twice. Now aged 6 and 5. 6 year old was very much wanted (we wanted another but decided not to for various reasons and he came along anyway). 5 year old was conceived when we both had fertility problems and using 2 types of contraception. Then he nearly didn't survive the birth. We wouldn't have chosen for me to get pregnant when we were also parenting a medically complex 4 month old and there have been times when it's been extremely hard. I wouldn't be without either of them now though.

okiedokieme · 03/02/2020 11:20

Moved in together, got married, had another kid, split up after 20 years of marriage. So not happy ever after but not a disaster

dairyfairies · 03/02/2020 11:26

unplanned pregant with DC2 when DC1 was 2 years old. DC1 has complex SN so a DC2 wasn't really on the agenda as there is no guarantee for a healthy child and I wasn't sure I could cope with another with SN.

Long story short, we went ahead and no regrets. It's a decade ago now though.

Soundbyte · 03/02/2020 11:50

@OhDeez I’m sorry to hear things are difficult for you at the moment. How old is your little one?

Berrymuch · 03/02/2020 11:54

I have no regrets about making the decision after finding out I was pregnant to proceed, but the one regret I have is always being bonded to someone I would have split up with by now otherwise. I know you can leave with a child, but there will always be a link. We had been dating for 3 years beforehand, but as we hadn't discussed having children as it wasn't in our plans I had no idea what sort of father he would be.

ParkheadParadise · 03/02/2020 12:06

I've had 2 unplanned pregnancies.
I had Dd1 at 15 ( my best friend told me you couldn't get pregnant the first time you had sex) worse I believed her😆. My parents were devastated BUT very supportive.
Dd2 came along 23years after Dd1. DH and I were in complete shock. Sadly Dd1 died when I was 7mths pregnant with dd2.
Dd2 has been my reason for living.

Wellhellooothere · 03/02/2020 12:09

I WAS the unplanned pregnancy to teen parents. They married and have been together, very happily, for 45 Years. Luckily they genuinely liked and loved each other I suppose. I know my DM wouldn't have chosen to get pregnant when she did but I don't think she regretted having me.

Crunchymum · 03/02/2020 12:10

Unplanned DC3.

She was diagnosed with a rare condition at birth / is globally delayed / registered disabled. Life is very different for us all now and always will be.

No regrets of course but when we made the decision to go ahead with our 3rd baby, we had no idea what we were in for.

lauryloo · 03/02/2020 12:11

26 weeks pregnant with an unplanned baby

There have been many tears. My youngest is disabled and I have no idea how I'm going to cope

SquishyLint · 03/02/2020 12:18

Didn’t want kids but really pleased I went through with it. My husband and I’s relationship took a battering for the first 6 months just because of tiredness, we were like passing ships in the night and sex was literally the last thing on my mind. But we’re a strong partnership and we got through it. We ended up relocating to the house of our dreams in an area we love and we are really happy and our little girl is a joyful soul. She gave us a kick up the bum to take a leap of faith and so far it’s worked out.

However, I found pregnancy and the little baby/breastfeeding stage very hard and would not do it again.

Roomba · 03/02/2020 12:19

I've had two. One aged 17 - a baby was the absolutely the last thing on earth I wanted. I was planning to go to uni soon, also my parents would have disowned me so I'd have been homeless, alone and utterly miserable if I'd not had a termination. Never regretted it for a minute.

Second time was in my late 20s. I was on the pill, but a stomach bug must have affected it. I was nervous but very happy about it once it had sunk in a bit. I was able to support a child and would have tried for a baby within a couple of years anyway. Worked out wonderfully - DS is the best surprise ever, even on his stroppiest teenage days I feel very blessed to have him.

EvilPea · 03/02/2020 12:21

Unexpected pregnancy in a new relationship - but did know the dad for around years before.
Really well, it was not how I’d have planned it. But actually it’s been and a complete blessing and I’m not sure I’d have had kids otherwise. we have always been a family unit so there’s no “you’ve changed” or “your out too much now the babies here”.
I am slightly concerned about the other side when the kids leave home etc because of that though. But I hope we will be ok. Thankfully our parenting style is the same as that could have been awful.

Downside, not financially sorted and never catching up as a result of no family support - youve made your bed, now lie in it was the attitude.
it is a little odd meeting the family when your already pregnant and just that whole background knowledge of families.
It’s also going to be a bit awkward when the eldest does the maths, its also a useful learning opportunity about contraception not being 100% and neither the morning after pill.

PearlHeart3 · 03/02/2020 12:21

Unplanned, studying at university (mature student 30s), was only in the relationship with the father for 3 months when I found out I was unexpectedly expecting. My mum also unexpectedly died when I was 3 months pregnant. Managed to finish first year at uni maintaing a first. Gave birth to baby last September. It's been really tough despite him being a "good baby". The change of routine, lack of autonomy, the tiredness, the constant worrying. I felt like I didn't bond with baby initially but the last few weeks have been better. Baby is five months old and I'm feeling more confident with him and am taking him out to a baby class this week on my own for the first time. Previously I only really felt comfortable taking him to town or the shops. I'm still with the father and we're very happy and he's really supportive of us both, but having a baby was a shock to the system. I don't know you circumstances but support and time can help. I'm returning to university this September; decided to take a year out. Hopefully I'll be able to juggle both motherhood and my degree.