To have be scared of having a car accident.

[Naa29]

I am really sorry that this isn’t the most cheerful of posts. I have had major anxiety about car accidents for a long time since a relative had a horrific accident. I won’t go into details.

It has got better but it often gets worse when I hear of a bad accident. I have been driving for 10 years. I am a good driver. I don’t let the anxiety affect my driving.

But I read stories of car accidents on the roads. Although I don’t know the people and can’t imagine what they are going through I feel so emotional.

I start thinking this could happen to me. No one plans to have a car accident. It’s worse when I hear of things that happen on roads I often use.

It makes me not want to drive and where I live that’s impossible with no public transport.

I also get anxiety when my children go out with others. It doesn’t happen very often but when it does I check the traffic news and panic when they aren’t back in time!

I am sorry for this rather depressing post but surely I’m not the only one? Anyone else feel this way and how do you deal with it??

I also feel guilty about feeling emotional about the car accidents I hear about. It’s terrible for those involved, not me.

Not really an aibu but posting for traffic.

My fear is other idiots on the road. I witness them all the time!

I have been seriously injured in a major car accident and it did nearly as much psychological damage as physical. I have been helped a lot with my anxieties by a particular form of therapy called EMDR. That might not be the right type of therapy for you, as it focuses on dealing with "unprocessed" memories but I think it would be worth you enquiring about some kind of therapy.
Like you, I live in an area with very little public transport so I really do need to drive. Plus of course this type of anxiety has a very negative impact on general well being, and also affects other members of the family. I don't think that therapy can ever totally eradicate anxiety like this as after all it is a legitimate worry, and we need to have an awareness of risk to be decent drivers, but I have certainly found it helpful. I do still worry, but it is manageable and it is no longer right at the centre of my life.
I don't know if this kind of help is available on the NHS ( mine was paod for by the other driver's insurance company) but even if you have to see someone privately it is probably worth considering. I would talk to your GP in the first instance though.
I hope you are able to get some help as I understand how much this type of thing can impact on your life, and that you can't just "get over it" as people seem to imagine.

Not a lot of advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone, I was in a bad car accident as a teenager and it affected me for years afterwards, so much so that I stopped driving for a long time. I'd say seek help for the anxiety as soon as you can because if you let it lie dormant it won't just go away - chat to your GP about it and see if you can get referred for counselling and/or CBT.

And I echo what the pp said, it's not something you can just "get over."

Thank you. It is so hard. I have never been in an accident myself so that must be really hard for you both and I couldn’t even begin to imagine how that must feel.

I don’t feel it affects my driving. If anything it’s made me a very safe driver (not over cautious but safe). But it’s other people on the road who scare me.

Last year I witnessed an accident. No one was seriously hurt but a car lost control and hit the car in front. I didn’t sleep for days thinking that could have been our. Thankfully the driver from the car in front was absolutely fine, his car wasn’t too bad and he managed to get straight out. The driver from the car who lost control had ended up bouncing off his car and ended up up an embankment somehow! She was injured but she would been okay. Shook me up!

Even though you havent been in an accident Naa these worries are obviously very real and are impacting on you quite a lot. Seeing things can traumatise you in a similar way to experiencing them personally so please don't feel that your situation isn't "bad enough" to seek help. Talk to your GP and see what they suggest. Living with anxiety is horrid, and there are people who can help.