And I'm already wavering even though I (think) it was the right thing to do.
We've been together for a while and moved in together in November. Everything was really good before then. I thought we worked well as a team, we had our own lives with friends etc. but spent a lot of time together, we did an equal amount of life-admin. We both have very stressful jobs and that would occasionally cause friction, but nothing dramatic. We'd met each other's families and got on well with them.
But ever since moving in, it's like he's become a different person. He won't clean, or tidy. He does no life-admin at all (I'm talking I sort literally everything from the food to the bills to the general organisation of social life to the dog etc.) But when I do more to pick up the slack, he says I'm "mothering" him .
He picks arguments over tiny things and has made me cry multiple times with things he's said. He stays out two or three times during mid-week drinking until 4/5am, never letting me know where he is or when he's coming home (if at all). It's been horrible waking up in the middle of the night and realising I don't know where he is. I've asked him repeatedly to text me just to say he'll be out late or give a rough idea of when he'll be back, but nothing. He says he's miserable and low but he won't get help (either meds, or counselling, or just drinking less and exercising more. Nothing).
I feel so sad because I love him: but that's not enough if they're making you miserable, is it?