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AIBU?

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Original poster

Overreacting??

15 replies

Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 18:31

DC ( 12 & 13) do nothing around the house to help. SS is particularly lazy. DP and I had a chat last week about getting them to do stuff to help us and themselves out.

Tonight SS was asked to help with the dishes, reluctantly said yes then followed by when I went out of the room "I'm not doing them I'm too tired cba" DP then sent in DS to help but he helped last time when it was his turn to do them, I sent DS away and said no that's not fair on you, Cue DP coming in to help but he'd cooked all the dinner which I didn't think was fair so I asked him to leave too.

I'm really upset. But am I overreacting?

OP posts:
SunOnAll · 02/02/2020 18:35

You're upset your DP let his son off the hook but wanted your DS to help instead?

Maybe have a chat with your DP about chores being distributed fairly and consistently.

B0bbin · 02/02/2020 18:41

YANBU. They need to do some jobs at this age.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 02/02/2020 18:43

Yanbu, but, if step son isn’t in the home all the time it might be difficult for dh to spend the limited time he has setting boundaries. Try asking both boys and dh what they think would be fair.

hidinginthenightgarden · 02/02/2020 18:44

You are right to be annoyed with your DH. If its okay for your DS to do chores, his should be doing it too.

Original poster
Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 18:44

@sunonall yeah I think it was a bit unfair to pass to the buck to my DS when he did his turn without complaint. I know if it had been me and my DS if he'd have said he couldn't be bothered then I'd have said it's tough it's your turn to do it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 18:45

@Dogsaresomucheasier. He is in the home the whole time!

OP posts:
lengthenmylutealphase · 02/02/2020 18:59

What is the consequence of DSS not doing his chore?

Original poster
Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 19:03

@lengthenmylutealphase

No consequences at all

OP posts:
LatentPhase · 02/02/2020 19:12

YANBU

strawberry2017 · 02/02/2020 19:17

Do a chore chart and if the person doesn't do their chores then there has to be appropriate consequences for each person.
Put you all on it so it's not just seen as something for the kids.

Original poster
Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 19:32

I think I'll do a chore chart that's a good idea

OP posts:
lengthenmylutealphase · 02/02/2020 19:42

What are the consequences when he usually doesn't do as he's told or misbehaves?

Original poster
Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 19:47

@lengthenmylutealphase there's never any consequences to anything. Which causes me a problem because I'm not strict with my DS but I expect some respect from him and for him to do as he's asked.

OP posts:
lengthenmylutealphase · 02/02/2020 20:03

You need to have a proper chat with your dh about this. It's only going to get worse otherwise

Original poster
Gizabreak · 02/02/2020 20:06

Yes I know it is. I've been here before in a previous relationship and I don't want to go through the same again.

OP posts:
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