To go on maternity leave now?

[ChickenDippers123]

I’m 28+5 and can officially start maternity at 29 weeks. Was going to wait until 32, but I am exhausted all of the time as have low iron, and infusions aren’t working, and I also have gestational diabetes. My job takes a lot of concentration and I have constant brain fog from this fatigue and my quality of work isn’t good. I can afford it, but I just feel like I’m being really lazy and should try to push through? But every time I think about going back to work I’m getting so anxious because all I can do right now is sleep. Would IBU to take maternity this early or should I wait it out? I don’t plan on going back for a while.

If you’re in a position to take it then take it! No point running yourself into the ground - you want to be relaxed and in prime health for giving birth!
Why do you feel you’re being lazy? What/who is giving you that idea? For centuries women would have been laid up and resting ages before giving birth, its such a shame women feel they need to work to the death nowadays - and for who’s benefit?
Enjoy your maternity leave!

Yeah sack it off. Wish I could.

Why don't you get signed off until maternity starts. With my company I couldn't be forced to take maternity until 36 weeks but I was signed off from 32 weeks as I had PGP. That way I didn't "waste" my maternity leave before the baby was born.

On the one hand, I think three months before baby arrives is a long time to sit at home twiddling your thumbs and if you're going to lose time off your mat leave and have to go back earlier, I think I'd try to persevere as long as possible.

But if you're not well then you're not well. Maybe you could get get signed off?

Agree with pp try and get signed off sick first Pregnancy related illness doesn't go on your absence record so no reason not to. Then they can force your mat leave to start from 36 weeks and you'll have more left for when the baby is actually here.

I feel lazy because I just need to sleep all the time but loads of other women last until they give birth!

I was signed off for the last three months of my pregnancy due to high blood pressure. I had the most marvellous time! Enjoy it.

Are you going back after mat leave? If so I'd hold on. I had GD and sacroiliac damage, so I do get it, I was lucky to be able to work from home from 36 weeks and planned to take two weeks annual leave for 37 and 38 but had been travelling until then, I had DS during that first week at home so didn't end up taking my annual leave until after mat leave. Have you got any annual leave to take?

How is it lazy to listen to what your body is telling you though? You do realise you are growing an entire person in there?

Different women experience pregnancy differently. There is no right or wrong. Some sail through with no symptoms, some are hospitalised with HG. Do what you need to do, don't bother comparing.

If you're too ill to work go sick, you don't want to end up going back early because you took three months mat leave before you even had a baby

I also think get signed off instead if you can. I assume taking your leave this early will mean you needing to come back 10 weeks early at the other end and that may have its own challenges (assuming you’re planning on taking a year off)

I feel lazy because I just need to sleep all the time but loads of other women last until they give birth!

Every pregnancy and every woman is different! I could have practically run a marathon in my final trimesters, but was signed off for weeks 7-16 in both pg because I was knocked out with hyperemisis.

I finished early with DS and really regretted it. I was bored, spent more money than I saved to entertain myself and then was skint when my money ended as I tried to stay off as long as possible which meant unpaid leave.
If you can bare it i'd hold off and try to sleep as much as possible when you get in from work.

I feel lazy because I just need to sleep all the time but loads of other women last until they give birth

This is the crux of it then - you’re comparing yourself to other women. Maybe these women felt great to the end of their pregnancy and/or had no choice to work to the end.
Comparison is the thief of joy! Do what is best for you and stop worrying about what others think and do.

Do what is best for you and baby. I wish I had! My (Male boss) persuaded me to change my plan to go on maternity from 36 weeks and annual leave from 32 weeks because his wife managed until 38 weeks in a similar role and then had more time off with baby. I knew I would struggle due to pre-existing health issues and having a late summer baby (hot office etc). So in the end I agreed to 38 weeks. Big mistake. At 32 weeks baby was diagnosed with IUGR and my BP was through the roof. I was being monitored most days at the MAU plus having weekly scans and was off sick from work anyway. I'm sure it was stress related. Ultimately I had to leave abruptly rather than having a lovely send off. As soon as I was off work, baby started growing better again. I wish I had stuck with my original plan and not felt pressured or guilty for looking after myself.

Is it possible to only work half days until your maternity leave starts?

I aimed to work until 38 weeks but ended up leaving at 32 weeks as I suffered really badly with exhaustion and found it really hard to concentrate in my last trimester. After speaking to my manager and HR they all agreed I could use some holiday allowance and only work half days for a couple of weeks and bring my maternity leave forward.

use your sick leave if you can before sacrificing your maternity leave.

Of course not! Go off sick! That's what sick leave is there for. You'll kick yourself when you lose time with your baby on the other side.

I had some health issues when preg & I stopped as soon as I could. It was absolutely the right decision.

I've been off sick since 20 weeks my mat leave starts end of Feb I'll be 35 weeks by then I would go off sick for now .

Listen to your body. If you need rest, take rest. If you are sick, take sickness leave.

Maybe talk to your employer too. I had a risk assessment the other day (to check desk, chair etc) & they said "if you need rest, you know there's a sickness room, don't you? If you need to lay down for a bit, just go when you need to". Perhaps your work place has similar? Or could they offer you a phased start to mat leave (eg. Just work 1/2 days from now on) or work from home? Discuss with your boss/HR and say how you're feeling and ask what the options are.

Good luck

but loads of other women last until they give birth!

Yeh, different women who aren't dealing with your life and everything you're contending with.

Maybe try to stick it out a few more weeks.
But don't leave it late - I finished last week and 3 days later I ended up in hospital and am still here feeling like crap.

I wouldn't have been able to do the long commute anyway and I had loads of leave so though it was a great idea to have a few weeks off. Came in at 36+3 and now 37+1 with no diagnosis in sight and not allowed home despite not being even close to labour.

Haven't even got the hospital bags packed as was going to do it in all my free time!

Get signed off sick. Your mat leave will kick in at 36 weeks. Save it now and use it the other side when baby is here.

Also, just to add, I wasn't knowingly 'ill'. This came completely out of the blue in a fairly easy pregnancy.
You never know what might happen so make sure you take some time before so you're not zapped of energy and feeling like crap.