Opposite Sex in Bedroom

[Chocaholic4672]

I was at my sisters house recently and mentioned that my 14 year old son had had a female friend in his bedroom. My sister was shocked as was my niece and pretty much branded me irresponsible for allowing a teenage boy upstairs with someone of the opposite sex. Bearing in mind that she isn't his girlfriend. I went in and they were just watching tv and on their phones like most teenagers. Even if she was his girlfriend did it matter? They implied I was encouraging him to be intimate!

AIBU

No

Ignore her. Not her concern. Boys and girls can be friends.

YANBU at all.

My 15 year daughter has girls AND boys in her room and they sit at watch tv or on their phones. They are friends, that's all. You are not encouraging them to be intimate, it's great for kids to have friends of both sexes!

Personally I wouldn’t allow it but mainly because I remember vividly being 14/15 and being allowed to have boys in my room who weren’t my boyfriend as far as my mum was aware.....

I had loads of opposite sex friends as a teen, and they all came home with me. My mum would just check on us and bring us tea and cookies. It was fine.

Besides, if teens want to have sex they'll have it in the bushes if necessary (yeah, experience here).

My ds and his girlfriend were allowed to be alone in his room at times from 13. I was apt to disturb them a bit but only a bit. I did wonder if I was 'that parent' but also trusted that they were reasonably sensible and communicative kids. I am pretty sure they never had actual sex but I'm sure there was a lot of snogging and petting.

People have different standards. Your sister can set her own, so can you.

You're not encouraging your DS to be intimate, you're trusting him not to be. Lots of people have friends of the opposite sex who they don't sleep with. Saying this I would probably pop upstairs to offer drinks or just to bang about more often than I would if it was a friend of the same sex!

My 14yo DS has a female friend of the same age - they've known each other since they were toddlers. I have no problems leaving them in a room together.

My mum was always opposed to this when I was a teen. I think she’d had a bad experience with a friend of her brother’s when she herself was young, and it made her rather protective.

It is something I’ve thought about with my own DD (14 yrs old), but I haven’t banned it. In fact, DD has said that she is interested in girls as well as boys, in which case I would have to ban all friends from her room which would seem extreme!

My mum always made me leave the door open if I had male friends in. However me and my boyfriend just did it when no parents were there or in his house where he was left to his own devices, in his car etc. Whether you let them be together alone or not they’ll do it if they want to.

Hilarious. How to parents not know their 14 year olds are gay or bi or as they all claim they are these days 'pan'? You can't ban friends from bedrooms and unless they keep the door open, who knows what they get up to.

I wouldn't let them. That way it makes it much easier when it is a girlfriend. The rule is already in place.

I would let them be in their bedrooms, but I would bother them every half hour or so with snacks and visits with the cat and the like. Now my son tells me, "Remember when you did that? It was so annoying. Things would just be getting serious and there you would be with the snacks and the cats. And the really annoying thing is that girls LOVE snacks and cats."

An exes mum used to barge in every half hour ‘tea anyone?’ Lol