No-one really cares and they can all fuck off

[amaryl]

Been feeling v low recently
Not done anything
Hardly been out
No-one cares
Everyone is so busy with their happy lives, out drinking, eating, having fun.
I’ve dropped off everyone’s radar
And because I’ve always coped, everyone think I’m fine

Would it kill them to send a message just saying how are you?

Focus inwards instead of outwards and come off of all social media for a while. I find that makes me feel worse when I'm really low.

Many people are struggling but I believe some people are better than others at putting a fake front on.

A nice book and a bath to relax might help for tonight?

Oh OP. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. It’s very, very hard to do but do you have a couple or even one friend you could message first and tell them that you’re not okay right now?

How are you amaryl?
I’m sure they don’t realise you aren’t fine right now, perhaps reach out to them? If you were my friend I would want to know.
I hope you feel better soon x

Ah people should. However, not everyone is happy in their own lives. Maybe you could message someone? Reach out.

As far as most people are concerned, it's no news is good news. They can't help if they don't know you're having problems. Put something out on Facebook.

Put something out on Facebook.

I wouldn’t do this. You’ll get lots of superficial “RU OK hun?” replies. A better course of action might be to text one person you used to be close to explaining you’re having a really tough time and you’d like to catch up.

Also going through this so hand hold here.

When was the last time you messaged/rang some one?

Sometimes you have to actually send a version of an SOS for people to understand what you're going through. Lives suck up the days - before you know it, weeks and months have gone by.

I had a really bad spell of depression and anxiety. Was off work for two months. Was really hurt by the lack of interest and concern from my friends.

It was the worst period of my life, and no one even texted to ask if I was ok. My friend has been off work with a similar issue and I have spoken to her at length several times This week alone. I always send flowers or cards to colleagues who are ill.

But you know what, I recovered and am much stronger now. It seemed like the end of the world at the time, now it’s just annoying.

I have built a better support network - people who I can rely on.

To be honest im hearing a blame everyone else mentality like.. I get it but you can't blame people for getting on with there lives and not knowing that you were going through stuff.

When I had my son I had major depression but no one asked really how I was feeling because I looked like I was doing well, but I never blamed them.. I should have told them and got the help, but also when finally someone (health visitor) asked i acted like I was fine with smiles and nods and laughs but inside I was screaming and dying to tell her and hug her but I just felt I couldn't.

Again.. I did not blame her because it was my problem and why should other people be burdened with my issues if I'm not going to be open about needing a friend to just listen.

Also going through this. Reach out to somebody if you can.

However, not everyone is happy in their own lives

totally agree... I recently discovered a friend of mine is living in marital misery, despite only recently marrying.. and is too embarrassed to even consider leaving.. whilst presenting an image of marital bliss...

Amaryllis, what I'm reading is you are struggling and you are feeling like people should have reached out, possibly because if someone you knew were in this position, youd have acted differently.
The thing is, were all different people, with different views and things on our plate. I've felt this way in the past, but things happen, people drift away and it doesn't have to mean anything, and it doesn't really need to occupy your mind because it isnt going to help you.

I struggle with Mental health issues too, a few things I find that help, are to get up in the morning and get moving for five minutes (my Dr recommended something I could do as i brushed my teeth in the morning)
To try and write down, or share 3 things i am thankful for each day,
To say something nice to 3 people each day.
To make a plan to do something I'd like once a week.
Vitamin D supplement each day.
And to really try and eat healthy nutritious food, and have a decent sleep schedule if you can.

It all sounds a bit fluffy, but its stuff that the Dr says really does help with peoples general outlook, and along with medication can really help. If I can manage all of it each day, i do feel better in myself.

I hope you start to feel better soon x

OP,please reach out to somebody. In the moments like these you find out who your true friends are.
Friends do care and will always make time to listen/help.
PM me if you don’t have anybody in RL and please contact your GP
Don’t believe everybody’s got a happy life.

I’ve been through this, and still have moments like it. I’m the glue in a lot of relationships I have with others. I’m the one who checks people are ok, I will do random acts of kindness a lot, eg I’ve left a can of ready mixed g and t on a friends doorstep when I knew she was having a crap week (text her to tell her it was there but didn’t knock so she didn’t have to deal with inviting me in etc) but whenever I’m feeling down no one checks on me. I can go ages without texting people and not one of them will think, “Hm haven’t heard from Newton in a while”. It’s crap but I deal with it a lot better since I read to stop expecting others to be like you.
Sounds like you need some emotional first aid, check out the podcast here and have a good look around the site.
www.blurtitout.org/

One of the most important things that I’ve learnt in life is that no one else can mind read us, no one can make us happier or better, and no one else is responsible for us.

They all also have stuff going on in their lives.

What we can do is ask specifically for what we need, and give something back, even if we are at our lowest.

So you could ask all your family and friends how they are, and invite them over for a cup of tea, or me and a friend just used to book a call to each other once a month!

That might not work for you. But you’ve picked yourself up enough to write on mumsnet, so you’ve got some spark in there somewhere.

Hugs anyway. From one stranger to another.

and a hug @amaryl
Sometimes you have to make the first move- it sucks because it’s when you’re least up to it.
Everybody waves back

Last year I was going through a really tough time in my relationship/life in general and totally withdrew from friends, avoided speaking on the phone etc, because i was miserable and I didn't want to hear about their "perfect" lives.

When I eventually made it out if my funk I spoke to one of my best friends (who has the husband, the house, been talking about getting a dog.. all the good stuff) and found out that she'd had a miscarriage and I hadn't even known

My point is - everyone has their own shit going on. The people who you think have forgotten about you might just not have time/inclination to call because of their awful stressful jobs, miserable relationships etc etc. Or maybe they just don't know how to approach you when you're really down.. give them the benefit of the doubt and if you want to speak to them give them a call.

I know it’s not all how it looks on Facebook, but sometimes I go for weeks without seeing anyone, without talking to anyone except my mum and my son. They are at least going out with family, with friends, girlfriends, husbands.
I have reached out, I’ve sent messages to friends saying been a bit down since my birthday. Nothing
Tried to start conversations in a couple of family WhatsApp groups, just for someone to acknowledge, nothing
I’d like someone to want my company

Hard as it is, then if they haven’t relied I think you have to give something first. Be in touch and ask how they are. By saying that you are down you are saying the communication will be about your problems, and by not replying they are saying that is not what they can do at the moment.

Sometimes online groups can help. I talk to very few people and weeks can go by with only conversations with my son, who is busy with his own life. When I’ve been going through rough patches, I’ve gone to counseling and talked on online forums like MN, which helps as I don’t have anyone near that I can talk to. I have friends and family but they are far away and have their own problems tbh.

The counseling and MN massively helps to unburden the immediate ‘aaarghhh’ that I suspect you are feeling. So that when with others, I can give a bit.