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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Re neighbour and car...

28 replies

mommathatwearspink · 01/02/2020 17:21

Neighbour crashed into our car. It’s going through the insurance and we have a hire car.
We aren’t particularly close but they are nice and we also talk when passing.
AIBU to think it would have been nice for them to bring a bottle of wine or just to knock on and say how sorry they are...?

OP posts:

Moreisnnogedag · 01/02/2020 17:33

What did they say when it happened? If they apologised at the beginning i wouldn’t expect for them to keep on saying sorry.

needanewnamechange · 01/02/2020 17:37

It depends were you angry with them ?
Maybe they feel really bad , did they say sorry at the time and admit liability? If so all sorted and move on don't dwell on it .

underneaththeash · 01/02/2020 17:38

They're probably embarrassed.

minionsrule · 01/02/2020 17:43

Nope i wouldn't expect anything like wine. Sure they probably said sorry at the time, they have given you insurance details and presumably admitted liability. Thats all that is needed imo.
You wouldn't go round to a strangers house with wine if you had a collision with them 😕

SpecLosers · 01/02/2020 17:46

Ah to be fair, maybe they will tomorrow when they have recovered from the shock/embarrassment. Don't write it off just yet.

If they don't approach you ever again, then it's business only from now on really, as a neighbour it shouldn't be like this, but isolationism is becoming very fashionable these days.

Dellow · 01/02/2020 17:52

As it’s going through the insurance presumably you have spoken to them and in that conversation there was an apology..... in which case YABU to expect anything further than their help to put it right and your car made good. I would actually feel sorry for them because it’s quite embarrassing. It’s an accident which could have happened to anyone & if the same happened to me I would think it very odd if they came continuously apologising with wine.

nixkix · 01/02/2020 17:53

as a neighbour it shouldn't be like this, but isolationism is becoming very fashionable these days

Why shouldn't it be? Just because somebody lives next door doesn't mean you have anything in common. I've lived in the same place for over 15 years and I don't know any of my neighbours and that's fine by me - I don't want to.

Scarydinosaurs · 01/02/2020 17:55

I wouldn’t expect wine.

You can be neighbourly without doing things like that.

LimitIsUp · 01/02/2020 17:55

Yabu - they have admitted liability, it's going through insurance. You and they have maintained polite relations. A bottle of wine and more apologies is overkill. It was an accident and they've held their hands up to it.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 01/02/2020 17:55

Why do you need wine from them? their insurance is fixing your car. I’m assuming they said something along the lines of “sorry” when they informed you they had hit your car?

I8toys · 01/02/2020 17:56

Yabu - my neighbour backed out of the drive into my car as I was driving past. They apologised, came over later and exchanged details. The end.

CakeandCustard28 · 01/02/2020 17:57

I’m sure they apologised when they first hit the car. Bit unreasonable to expect them to keep apologising or why you need a bottle of wine? It’s not like they drove off and didn’t tell you.

SpecLosers · 01/02/2020 17:57

Nixkix,

I don't see much of my neighbours either due to different timetables, but they are always there on Whatsapp/text if I need them and vice versa.

Being neighbourly doesn't mean you have to live in someone's face. Just be kind and tolerant. I appreciate the distance as I am like you, quiet and so on, but it's lovely to know they are there in an emergency and are the same with me.

We have an understanding! Works great.

Finfintytint · 01/02/2020 17:58

Nixkix, don’t you look out for each other’s property though? Keep an eye on the house if they are away? My neighbours are not best buddies but we still take in parcels, move cars if necessary and watch out for any suspicious activity if I know they’re on holiday. Nobody is invading any privacy but it’s a community thing I suppose.

PatellarTendonitis · 01/02/2020 17:59

They've sorted it out through their insurance and you want more grovelling and bloody wine?! FFS. They've had to pay their excess and they'll lose their no claims bonus, their fault, that's enough of a punishment.

TodaysFishIsTroutALaCreme · 01/02/2020 18:01

My neighbour drive her car through the side of our house. We didnt even get an apology.

KnightandDay · 01/02/2020 18:01

How did they hit your car? Did they own up and apologise straight away? No need for wine, glad it's getting sorted.

CakeandCustard28 · 01/02/2020 18:02

My neighbour drive her car through the side of our house. We didnt even get an apology.

I’d be expecting a winery if my neighbours did this, sod the bottle of wine! that’s awful though.

Tombliwho · 01/02/2020 18:05

obviously it's all going through the appropriate channels to get resolved. I don't see why they need to do anything else.

Boom45 · 01/02/2020 18:06

If it was an accident, the insurance is covering it and you have a hire car, what's the wine for?

iklboo · 01/02/2020 18:08

Would you expect a bottle of wine if it had been someone else who had crashed into your car? I don't think the fact that they're your neighbours would make a difference really.

dwum · 01/02/2020 18:25

A school mum I vaguely knew hit the front of my parked car.
No one was hurt, my older kids were in it, waiting for me (they thought it was quite exciting!).
I gave her a hug when she came to tell me, took her for a coffee at a nearby coffee shop and called the next day to make sure that she was ok, as she had gotten a really nasty shock and was quite upset with herself.

I never expected anything more than her taking care of all the insurance paperwork.

Sexykitten2005 · 01/02/2020 18:29

My neighbour hit my car, offered to pay for the damage, I was trading it in anyway so I said no bother. THAT deserved a bottle of wine and I didn’t even get a thanks.
My other neighbour will get their car hit one day. They keep parking over my drive. When I eventually snap and drive into it they won’t even be getting an apology. Insurance details and that’s all

HMBB · 01/02/2020 18:34

Yanbu, I know I would do this if I was ever stupid enough to hit a neighbours car or somebody I knew. I am surprised at how many people wouldn't.

Chloemol · 01/02/2020 18:44

My aunts neighbour hit my car, he did apologise but I wouldn’t expect wine, he gave me his insurance details, and that was it. I wouldn’t expect wine

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