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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to move schools and house? Wwyd?

40 replies

Cheeriosaddict · 01/02/2020 09:11

Hi, this is my first post so please be kind! Looking for some advice.. My ds aged 6 is happy at his primary school and as a family we LOVE the area we live in. But it is so expensive and we need more space since ds2 (18 months arrived). Extending is unlikely.
A house further out of town on a (quite soulless) new build estate is available within budget with plenty of space. It would mean a school move however the new school has amazing facilities and it feeds into a much better (academically anyway) secondary school.
We currently live in the catchment of a good but not nearly as good secondary school.
Would you move a happy child out of school for more space and possibly better primary and secondary?
His current primary isn't without fault- he wasn't progressing as much as he could be so we have had to pick up the short fall at home. He is also misbehaving with some friends although we accept this as standard for 6 year old. The class sizes are also smaller at New primary school but we know nothing about how happy the kids are there which is my main focus for ds whilst he is so young.
I feel like it is now or never for moving him before moving becomes harder.
Wwyd? Aibu to move a happy child for a risk of better opportunities and more space?

OP posts:

DisplayPurposesOnly · 01/02/2020 09:13

Go for it. He'll be fine.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 01/02/2020 09:16

Sounds like short term pain for long term gain.

CallmeAngelina · 01/02/2020 09:16

You say he isn't progressing as much as he should be and presumably think that the current school is to blame for that? But then you say he's misbehaving? Isn't it more likely that that is why he's not performing well? Yes, he probably is happy, having a whale of a time behaving badly with his mates.
I would move, I think. And take steps to do something about his behaviour too, I'm afraid.

memememe · 01/02/2020 09:17

sounds like a move will be positive all round... hes only 6 so he'll adjust very quickly.

Original poster

Cheeriosaddict · 01/02/2020 09:18

Wow that was quick, thanks! That is what my partner thinks but he moved schools lots as a child.

OP posts:

AdachiOljulo · 01/02/2020 09:18

that sounds fine. I would go for it.

Iloveacurry · 01/02/2020 09:22

As he’s only 6, it will be easier to move now than when he’s older.

funnylittlefloozie · 01/02/2020 09:22

I would absolutely move, for a cheaper bigger house, a better school and smaller class sizes!! Children are resilient, and if your 6 year old is generally a happy little soul he will quickly make new friends. Think about it rationally - it is a bit mad to potentially scupper the whole family's opportunities for a nicer life just so that one child can play with his friends at playtime.

Original poster

Cheeriosaddict · 01/02/2020 09:25

When I say misbehaving I don't mean he is constantly in trouble or anything we should be too concerned about at his age (although he is our first so happy to stand corrected) . We thought typical 6 year old behaviour - talks too much, messing around is assembly with friends. Admittedly I do think he is quite boisterous when he is with certain friends but I think that could be anywhere (and he may to blame). We are quite strict at home and support the teacher if he is misbehaving.

OP posts:

helpmum2003 · 01/02/2020 09:28

Definitely move

Bluewater1 · 01/02/2020 09:29

I would do the move now too. As a PP said short term pain for long term gain

Stillfunny · 01/02/2020 09:30

Absolutely go for it. He will not suffer any damage . And it sounds like a good move for your family. His school life is only part of his overall wellbeing.

positivity123 · 01/02/2020 09:32

Definitely.
You need to move at some point so do it now, don't be held back with indecision.

NachoNachoMan · 01/02/2020 09:35

Sounds fab, house sounds great and at 6 he'll be fine moving schools...

Hou need to double check that he'll get in to the new school, however. Are there spaces or will you need to go ? The council will only consider your new address once you've exchanged contracts. In infants you won't win a school appeal, there is more flexibility in juniors. Can you take him to his current school if you moved house?

But if you can get a place in the school... go for it!

NachoNachoMan · 01/02/2020 09:35

That should be do you need to go on the waiting list, doh!

Original poster

Cheeriosaddict · 01/02/2020 09:37

@funnylittlefloozie you're right, he is sociable and makes friends easily so hopefully he will be happy at any school.

OP posts:

LolaSmiles · 01/02/2020 09:37

Go for the move.

On schools, be cautious. Being boisterous, just messing around with some of his friends in assembly etc IS disruptive behaviour so it's hardly surprising that he isn't making as much progress as he could. Lack of progress when a student is being silly/disruptive wouldn't be a push factor for me from a school. It's good you support the school though when things need following up.

Also, primaries don't feed into secondaries most of the time. Secondary admissions will have a set of published criteria, one of which will be distance.

OldMumYoungNan · 01/02/2020 09:37

Yes lots of reasons to move. And not many to stay.

Worriedmum54321 · 01/02/2020 09:40

The soulless new estate would put me off a bit - is it walking distance to local amenities (schools, shops, community centres) or one of those surrounded by busy roads where you have to drive everywhere?
I wouldn't worry about moving schools though.

Original poster

Cheeriosaddict · 01/02/2020 09:42

@NachoNachoMan (love your user name). Yes there are spaces at the new school. It was purpose built for the new houses being built so the council have kept spaces for families moving into the new estate. I suppose class sizes will increase too but there is plenty of space at the school. That's another reason I know nothing about the new school because it is brand new. His current primary is within an established village community.
Thanks.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheeriosaddict · 01/02/2020 09:46

@Worriedmum54321it is just a housing estate. We would need a car for anything (although we could walk to school). Where we are currently has lots of amenities which we enjoy and a nice community.
So yes it is soulless but I guess that's why it is cheaper. The same house here would be about £90k more.

OP posts:

Techway · 01/02/2020 09:50

Will you be happy with the new location? Also as previously noted, do check criteria for secondary school to ensure you are in catchment.

olympicsrock · 01/02/2020 09:52

Go for it!

cheninblanc · 01/02/2020 09:53

My year 9 daughter is moving school next week following a house move, and very excited. At 6 my daughter was moved for the same reasons and never batted an eyelid over it

Celeriacacaca · 01/02/2020 09:56

On a side note, please don't accept misbehaving at 6 as "standard". I work in a secondary school where teachers deal day in and day out with year 7 children whose poor behaviour started as low level in y1 or y2 and was overlooked or excused and they went on to think this was acceptable.

It's a nightmare for them and others in the class whose learning is impacted. Please talk to your child/teacher and get to the bottom of what's behind it so you can help him remedy it.

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