What happens if you can't afford to pay for a funeral?

[Luckystar777]

Just that, really. Say you have a small amount of money (or none) but it's not enough to cover the cost of even the cheapest funeral? What happens? I'm wondering this about a relative's and also my own funeral/s. We're both ok right now but I've been thinking about the future. And worrying.

I live in Scotland.

I will be having a direct cremation. I am pagan so definitely don't want a standard church type funeral and I have asked my DH to scatter my ashes at a place that is meaningful for me and to plant a tree. My poor nan was really shocked when she found out how much funerals cost after my grancha died and paid off her own funeral afterwards so no one had to worry.

I worry about this with my dad. He has no partner, no friends really. We are estranged as he was abusive. I cannot afford to pay for a funeral being part time employed due to disability and my husband being on minimum wage. I am not sure I want to pay a load of money for his funeral either given the past.

I don’t know....I get a little irritated when I hear people say “I don’t want this for my funeral”, or “I’ve told my family I want....”
To me, funerals aren’t for the deceased really, they’re for the people left behind. A way for them to deal with their grief, say goodbye, and mourn in a way that is most helpful for them.
I did find it very helpful that my dh had been quite clear about wanting to be cremated rather than buried when he died though, even if neither of us had expected it to be quite so soon
Other than that, because he was so young, and we hadn’t really discussed our dying, I just did what I thought was best, and what helped me through...

Fabellini oh absolutely; I firmly believe funerals should be a way for the living to come to terms with their grief; hence why I’m so keen on people not going into debt for it or doing something that distressed them because “it’s what mum would have wanted”.

Having said that, however, I think a lot of people get a sense of peace from knowing they were able to carry out their loved ones wishes - at a time when you can feel so helpless, it can be nice to feel that you are able to do this one last thing for them as they would have wanted.

But otherwise; yes - DP knows that I would quite like to be cremated and my ashes scattered near the sea; but if he wanted to do something different it’s not like I’d know any better!

I’m sorry you lost your DH

I am pagan so definitely don't want a standard church type funeral

Both my parents' church funerals were beautiful but the loveliest was my Aunt's cremation without ritual, hymns or prayers, just family and friends paying tribute. She "went out" to a soundtrack of birdsong

DP knows that I would quite like to be cremated and my ashes scattered near the sea; but if he wanted to do something different it’s not like I’d know any better!

Same here. I want what's left of me to be free to become something new, not kept in an urn. Though I've said he could do 50/50 if he wanted an actual grave to visit.

Thank you all so much for your comments, I wasn't expecting to get so many replies. Does it have to be a cremation, does anyone know? I personally would be ok being cremated but think my relative would not.

If you live in Scotland you could be eligible for the Funeral Support Payment.

www.facebook.com/SocSecScot/videos/1284885098382315/?vh=e&d=n

Normally it's only for religious reasons that a burial would be funded. Or if there was an existing family grave.

It depends on the Local Authority. Many are running out of burial sites.

Regarding your question about burial, if that is your preferred method it's much more expensive. This is because you have to pay for the digging of the grave, transport of the coffin to the graveyard, staff to do the burial, staff to cover up the coffin with earth, a gravestone , etc. It all adds up , nobody works for nothing.

With cremation there is none of that expense . I'd say that if your relative wants a burial for themselves, they'd be well advised to take out some insurance or pre-pay for it themselves.

Mine is runningo ut of sites - although still has space for Greek Orthodox and muslims so as I want a full burial and upright stone I will have to go out of borough and pay double!

Even my parents could not be buried together not that they necessarily would have wanted it as my father's grandparents' plot only had one space left - for my father (NE England) and we had to get him only a flat stone as there was no space on the up right parts to add him we were told.

Our local crematorium does direct cremations, and also now does shroud cremations as well, so no need for a coffin.

Burials can be much cheaper in village churchyards, cheaper than cremation. But you have to usually have a very strong link to the church. Burial in council owned graveyards are expensive.

It’s called a paupers burial where I live. 70 dollars to be put in a cardboard coffin and cremated. That’s it

My first thought was “how grim” - but you know what? You’re dead, so you won’t give a shit!

That is cheap.